Shanette's Daily Scoop

Killer smiles

2012-02-29T17:34:00.002+08:00

HELLO THERE HAPPY LEAP YEAR!
I stayed up all night yesterday doing nothing. Seriously man. I was up all the way till 9am and i decided to sleep after freshening up and having breakfast. LOL What a smart move.. I had nothing to blog about because i was home these couple of days and life at home is seriously 100% similar to a pig. Even though it seems like i do nothing everyday, i actually do something ok! Watching shows, editing blogs, facebooking, IS DOING SOMETHING!!! Haha.

I've been spazzing about Matthew Atkinson lately because he is sooooo charismatic and soooo handsome. I assume he's new in the acting industry since his twitter has less than 10k followers.

I can faint on the spot just by looking at this!!!! Some guys seriously have killer smiles and he's definitely one of them! Aside from his character in the show, i wanna spazz about his height. HAHAHA oh my god he is freaking 6'1"(182.5cm) tall!!!! AH~~~ Handsome handsome handsome!

Ok enough spasms HAHA. I've been up helping a friend set up a blogshop lately. This is my first time using livejournal. I really have no clue how to use it. Like when i look at other livejournal blogs, i can't help but tell myself im such a loser at livejournal. LOL.. Hmmmm but i still kinda did it and it looks kinda presentable to me.

I need all of you guys' support. Please help me like the Facebook page and follow their Twitter which are also run by me.

I've seen their apparels. It's beautiful! It's launch is on 1st March 2012, 6pm.

PLEASE DO SUPPORT!!!!

Who cares about size? OK me.

2012-02-27T22:45:00.000+08:00

HI. I have caught This Means War, and let me tell you.... IT'S FUCKING AMAZING. Go catch it please if you haven't. One of the most awesome shows I've caught this year after Mission Impossible.

Here's the trailer. Trust me. Why don't you just skip the trailer below and head to the cinemas already?! HAHA.

Yesterday night, i swore i tried to sleep. Before 12, i switched off my computer and charged my phone and just rolled on my bed for more than 2hours, hoping i'd get to sleep. Instead, I was up thinking about my US trip, thinking about hot guys, thinking about my future WTF. I couldnt take it anymore because the more thoughts i had in my mind, the more awake i was. So i decided to use my phone till there was no battery left. I was spamming Ellen Degeneres videos for almost 2hours. Oh she's so funny i've got no words to describe. She really lives up to her last name 'Degeneres'. If you realised, it has the same pronounciation as 'The Generous'. HAHAHA.

Woke up the next day at 12.30pm, freaking out the moment i saw my phone. I totally forgot i was meeting Charlotte and Amanda at 1pm for the medical check up. Hurriedly bathed and stuff. Reached AMK at 2pm. The queue was outragous. We reached the clinic before 3.30pm, and left there at 5pm. Saw Josephine there! Had a little chat with her about our weight and school issues. Why doesnt she believe me that it's her bones that are heavy?! If i had some caucasian blood in me, i swear i'd be fat as hell.

Extremely heavy bones + overflowing amount of fats = ........... hella fat.

Went to Serangoon Garden's My Village to get Subway because on my way home, i suddenly craved for it. It was my only meal of the day. Mom fetch me, Charlotte and Amanda back to my place and we just slacked there like pigs.

Charlotte was mad crazy over videos of The House 2. LOL I really cannot take it when people suddenly grab me when they're scared. Cuz i'd freak out too. & for that split second when they grab me, i'd think that they are something else. Something extra terrestrial. HAHAHA. Sorry i'm too imaginative.

They left at around 9pm and time flew so damn fast. It's already 10.30pm!? I don't even remember what i did for the past 1h30min, honestly speaking.

OH! My mother bought tickets to watch The Illusionists perform!!!! If you dont know who they are, they are magicians from all over the world!! I just think magicians are cool.

Here's a trailer of them.

The mentalist........ I've always been thinking how the hell do they do such things. Not that i can figure out HOW they actually do it. But hmmmm i'm gonna see it live, that's new. :P
Did i mentioned that Andrew Basso, the Escapologist, is hot? HAHAHA. He's from Italy yo!!!

I have decided on something. I will start working if i really get into Lasalle. Cuz school only starts in August for Lasalle. Wadahell. It's like another 4 months of holiday. I think i will go insane since everyone else will already be schooling. So either i go work, or my parents send me some place out of Singapore to enjoy for at least 2 months, which is more than highly impossible. HAHA.

I don't know why but recently i'm like excited for the audition. If only March had an earlier audition date..... They showed me 5 audition dates. 2 of them were beginning of Feb and end of Feb, 1 was late March, and the other 2 were April. I kinda feel like i will flop in the audition since the dance genres arent really my kinda of thing and considering my size, it just seems kinda hysterical to even say i have 50% chance of getting into Lasalle. Well~~~~ you know what? I'll just go there, feel the music and pretend that it is Lyrical Jazz. If there are pirouettes, i'll just freaking turn with all my might. If there are flexibility movements, wow bonus point for me. I hope they can see the passion in me when they interview me. I've already prepared what i'm gonna say.

I can't imagine what i'll be like if i really complete the dance diploma.

1. OMG AM I GONNA BE SLIM?

2. OMG AM I GONNA LOOK GRACEFUL? ^-^

3. OMG AM I GONNA GET SEXY FIGURE?

4. OMG IS THIS A DREAM?

OH MY GOD. :)

Yes this is my dream. To be a dancer. An official dancer despite my size.

Rich? So what?

2012-02-25T16:23:00.001+08:00

You know, I hate how people who are not so rich look upon the rich people. Not all rich people are bad. Some kids are spoilt, but some are NOT! Some rich people overuses their power, but some DONT! Some of the kids just wants to be treated normally. If you don't already know, I belong to a quite rich family. I hate how some people treat me. You do realised that its our PARENTS that are rich, and not us, right? They having alot of money does not equivalent to me being rich. Yes I do get more luxury than other people but that doesnt mean i should be treated differently from people living in HDB flats. I get the same allowance as most 17 year olds get. I go to government schools like most of you guys.

Sometimes when it comes to money, people love to shoot sentences like "Why do you even have to worry about money? Your family is rich.", "You're a princess at home. There's nothing for you to think about." to me. RICH RICH RICH. I WISHED I WAS RICH. Cuz if i was, i'd be using the money to travel all the places i want to go during this long boring 6months holiday. When you people shoot those sentences to me, what kind of reply do you expect me to give? "Oh yeah true. I've got lots of money. You want some?" WHAT THE HELL, EXCUSE ME I'M NOT SNOBBY. I didn't choose to be in this family. I'm just here. & my luck is probably just a tad better since I get all these luxuries. I may not be exposed to the world as much as street smart people are, but i want to try and blend in. NOT A VERY HARD THING HUH?

If you're thinking why i'm posting such irrelevant stuff, I just want to say something on behalf of the people who are in the same state as me. Maybe movies have shown that rich people are snobbish, selfish, evil, arrogant and stuff. But that's in the movies! In the real world, snobbish, selfish and evil rich people are really not that rich. They just ACT like they are to be around people of a higher class. They flaunt things around that are probably still on loan just because the real rich people will make them feel like they belong. YOU UNDERSTAND NOW?

Ok enough with the blabbering. I'm going to meet the ladies at 7pm later to have dinner and then catch a This Means War with them. It's amanda's birthday!!! That calls for a celebration! Haha~

What a day

2012-02-25T00:19:00.002+08:00

WASSUP. I got cheated by my mother early in the morning today. She told me that we would go Plaza Singapura at around 11am yesterday. So regardless of the fact that i slept at almost 4am, i woke up at 9.30am. My mother then text me and said she changed her schedule as she decided to go in the afternoon. My throat was in a very bad condition so i couldn't get back to sleep. 5hours of sleep is not enough!!!! Sigh i didnt follow her in the end because she said she kinda had plans for herself.

Amanda came in the afternoon to slack around. She came in such a bad timing. I was about to fall asleep and she sent me a text saying that she was already at my doorsteps. Arghhhh. So we slacked till around 5pm. She offered me a couple of chocolates and i got mad hyper because of it. Went to meet Jai at around 6pm to shop around. I remembered seeing a F21 pullover that i liked the previous time i went there, but they kinda changed their stuff there when me and Jai went there just now. Awww :( Headed to Bugis to shop. Stayed there till around 9 and we decided to head home.

You know, i kinda think my blog bores people out, and i would like to apologise for that. It's kinda more of a diary than whatever kind of blogs other people have. I'm not popular and stuff so i don't think anyone would bother about what happens in my life. IT'S OK~ I enjoy blogging. I love writing nonsense. Hehe and i have no clue why. Right now, I'm kinda hungry but i'm holding in my hungriness because of the time. It's 12.00AM!!!!! & that means.......

IT'S AMANDA'S BIRTHDAY!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

(Supposed to be a GIF but it didnt move when i uploaded here T_T, so i just put the photos side by side)

Happy birthday fashion addict!!! Really glad i've befriended you and no doubt we'll still stay as close knowing that we're entering the same school! Don't worry about Lasalle. Even if i miraculously get accepted, we'll still be as close i guarentee that OK?! Luvchuuuuu :*

행복한 여자들 너무 이쁜

2012-02-23T18:58:00.000+08:00

I wish i can draw, but i can't. So..... here's a DIGITAL sketch of me. HAHA... Okay obviously it's a webcam effect~ Doesn't it look good!? I really wish someone sketches me beautifully next time. Hmmmm~

Never had friends who could really draw very well until i met my cliquemates. I have 4 out of 7 babes in my clique who draws really well. I never fail to be amazed everytime i see their artwork. It's just amazingly good!!! Wow those talented hands...~ I'm so envious hahaha.

As usual, my day started at 2pm. HAHA caught up with the newest episode of The Lying Game and then i started to feel hungry. So i was thinking if i should get Ben&Jerry's. Hmmmm yes i bought it! :P

It's just yummy beyond words!!! :)

I'm certain my tummy capacity shrunk by ALOT. Usually, i'm able to finish the whole tub in one go, which is like 4 servings? This time, i only ate 1 serving and i'm full. The rest of the icecream is still in the fridge and i'm saving it for later~ Hehe.

Do you remember what i posted yesterday? The one I said about my mom calling me Shanpire? You know what? I guess I'm becoming one...

Can you see my supposedly left side of my face is 'sparkling'? HAHAHA... I'm like Edward Cullen, HUH? :P I think the sunlight that's hitting off my face is giving off a pretty cool effect, dont ya think? :P

Alrighty, i'm gonna try and correct my bodyclock tonight, again. God knows if it'll work but, no harm trying.

안녕~~~

Shanpire

2012-02-22T22:45:00.002+08:00

Hi. It's another day. My day started at 2pm today. Had my BreakLunNer at 4.30pm. Watched afew episodes of The Secret Life of An American Teenager. Uh huh yes I've yet again, started on a new show. This show has like i think 5 seasons or something. Wow i've got loads to catch up. Then i got sleepy. I don't quite remember what time i fell asleep. Probably near 6pm. & I slept all the way till 9pm. My mom calls me a Shanpire now. My name's Shanette, and she thinks i'm a vampire. So she joined both words up and that's how she got Shanpire... HAHA.

When i woke up, i ate a sinful KFC eggtart :( Not cuz i was hungry. I just wanted to eat something, my mouth was itchy!! Caught up with Gossip Girl's latest episode afew minutes ago. Then i got bored and i went to my previous blog, dated from Nov 2010 - May 2011. I can't believe there are still people who view that blog.. You can go click it, i've linked it under my "Profile". I seriously wonder where i get all those viewers from :O I've got more than 1000 viewers from South Korea in my previous blog. Hmmm maybe because i set my language as Korean for it and some of my post titles were in Korean HAHA.. & how do Americans even find my blog???! I don't get it..

Well just keep coming ok~ It makes me feel happy that foreigners are reading my blog LOL. Even if you're not a regular reader, i'm still thankful that you've somewhat landed on my blog. Hehehe hi everyone!! :)

I haven't really been keeping up with the K-pop stories lately. I'm so off about it :( Because tumblr's been shitty these days. People that i follow are changing hearts. LOL usually the tumblogs that i follow, are mad fanbloggers. Like i'm crazy over SHINee, so i go find SHINee tumblogs. However recently, I've been getting lots of photos and GIFs on people whom i'm not even interested in!!! Makes me feel irritated, hence, i don't want to go Tumblr. I can understand if i'm following a personal tumblr. But usually i don't! So yeah... Turns me off in a way I guess.

Ok so lately I've been watching alot of shows and correct me if i'm wrong about this. You know what I don't understand about fathers? They like to protect their teenage daughters from dating teenage guys cuz guys that age only go for one thing, and that's sex. Yet they don't realise they were young once and they actually did something to another teenage girl once. HELLO???? Don't start by saying that its BECAUSE they were young once and they know more than us and hence, they can stop us from doing what we want. I'm not saying ALL fathers did that. But i'm sure what i'm saying is a fact. LOL. If you're kinda mindfucked by what i've just said, i'm not trying to say we shouldnt listen to our fathers. I'm trying to say they shouldnt stop us from dating. & WE(girls) shouldnt be so stupid to have sex at this age.
Main point: Guys should cut their dicks off. HAHAHAHA.
C'mon~ I don't understand why falling in love means going to bed(having sex) to teenage guys. Are you serious???! Anyway... I kinda see myself as a spinster in the future honestly. HAHAHA.

I NEED TO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. 2 DAYS HOME AND I'M ALREADY GETTING SICK OF IT. BUT I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYWHERE TO GO???? I want to get out of Singapore! :(

(I'm so gonna be his stan when he debuts.)

Guilty Pleasure

2012-02-22T02:46:00.000+08:00

You know what's one of my most guilty pleasures?

Looking at pretty pretty really very pretty clothings that i can never imagine myself in. When I'm bored, i just surf the internet and look at pretty and tall people in beautiful clothes I wish I owned.

Sigh. I guess it's kinda true when people say some girls are just lazy to dress up. I sometimes feel that way. I live in Singapore. It's such a hot place and I don't see the point of dressing up and putting on make up. I'm gonna quote Amanda, "You dress for yourself." Guess that's kinda true but still.... :( I don't know. I feel sad for myself. I don't know how to love myself, don't know how to embrace my own body, don't have any confidence when it comes to MYSELF.

I love this white dress. Can you imagine me in it? My fat, short, full of flaws legs? My meaty arms?

I love her choice of skirt and blouse. But, well, look at her size. I'm almost 2 times her size.

What am i compared to this?

I love this kind of tank. But i can never wear such tanks because i'll NEVER look good in them.

I love her boots. That's because it looks good on her small legs. I bet her thighs are the size of my calves.

Seriously I'm not trying to make myself look so bloody bad. I just.... feel out of place. I picture people laughing at me every time I try to be a girl. You know I feel like I'm not supposed to be born a girl? Other girls out there wears beautiful clothes and not be judged. But when I do, people look at me like I'm a freak. HUH? I don't get it. I don't have 2 balls and 1 long thing in between my legs. Wait no. Even guys can be fashionable and I like it. SO WHY CAN'T I????! I'm a freaking girl..

GOD K WHY THE FUCK AM I OVERSIZED IN THE FIRST PLACE? I SWEAR I WANT TO KNOW REWIND TIME TO KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN EATING WHEN I WAS YOUNG THAT I'M SO BLOODY FATTY NOW.

Irritating girls can eat 5 meals a day and not put one even 1 pound. I FREAKING EAT 1 MEAL A DAY AND I CAN BE SO FAT. Damn it man damn it. Don't talk to me about metabolism rate because i know of people who eats 5 meals a day and doesn't exercise and still remains her weight.

If god asks me what's the most unfair thing in the world, I'd say my fucking size.

(Sorry I exploded.)

Burn out

2012-02-20T23:14:00.001+08:00

This is going to be another wordy post... Didnt took any photos today and was rather tired and sleepy and all sorts of emotions that are related to that.

I slept at 6am this morning. I set my alarm at 10 because i needed to inform my mom that i'm going out. So, slept at 6am, woke up afew times cuz of my cough, then at 10 to inform mom, then at 11 for no reason and finally woke up at 12. To be exact, i prolly slept for only 5hours or so. Ok..... Hurriedly bathed and stuff like that. Left house at 1.30pm. I don't know what has gotten into me today. I actually decided to wear a bodycon/bandage skirt and heels that are prolly 2 inches tall. Of course i made it casual by wearing some random cropped tee that is not so cropped. LOL. God i'm honestly not making sense. I guess it was meant to be a cropped tee but i bought it at a larger size so it looked like a normal tee.

I was texting Charlotte on the way to the MRT station and by her messages, i figured i could be on the same train as her. So i told her which door i was at and told her to walk to me :P Went to Cityhall to meet the others and had lunch at The Soup Spoon. Tremendously filling. I was so full i felt like an inflated balloon.. Walked around there and kinda window shopped a little~ It got boring as time passed so we decided to head to Town, AGAIN.

Honestly.... I'm not a very alert person. I was talking to one of the girls and texting someone at the same time. Then someone whom i thought was one of the girls which turned out to be some woman that i've never seen before kept talking to me. If you know me, i cannot multitask at all! It took me like more than 10 seconds to realised she was talkin to me. When i finally realised what was going on, she said something like "Don't worry i'm not here to promote or sell things to you" in Chinese. I couldnt really catch what she was saying. All i remembered was her asking if i was a Singaporean and said that my face features were unique????? LOL wth she kept pointing at my face. Then she asked for my name and number. So, i'm kinda like scouted to be a model for this weird agency that has been going around Orchard picking people to be their models. Its the same company Andrea, Liqian and Geraldine were scouted by.

After she left, i kinda got why she picked me. I probably stood out from the crowd. -_- LOL

165cm + 2inches(5cm) = 170cm. HELLO that's kinda tall yo. Honestly she couldnt possibly see my features unless she was infront of me. I DONT REMEMBER HER BEING INFRONT OF ME. So whatever~ Kinda happy that she picked me though. Makes me feel.... not so ugly HAHAHAHA.

Hmmmm now that i've calculated my height, i seriously think singaporean guys need to drink more milk or something. If i didnt remember wrongly, there were so little guys taller than me. Most of them were either my height(170cm for today) or shorter. Guys who were taller than me were all caucasians believe it or not. omfg. 170cm?! A MALE?! Yo gentlemen please grow please. Girls are getting taller these days. YOU NEED TO GROW. Or else stuff insoles into your shoes HAHAHA.. Best part is most of the time i am not even standing straight. Sigh is Singapore a midget country or what tsk.

Ok back to my day. We walked around Ion and Wheelock for awhile and waited for Jai to come. After she came, we continued walking around. Bumped into Jazreel and Brenda at Wheelock. Went to Dhoby for dinner at Just Acia. The food was delicious, but i was so full.... God 2 meals a day for me is just a killer really. We then went back to Orchard again to walk around...

My legs were aching badly. LOL i dont know why. Maybe because i was turned off by the fact that i had no money to shop. Nah actually i dont like being IN a shopping mall. Places like Orchard, i prefer to be walking on the streets and looking at buildings and people. Especially at night... I love the atmosphere, the feel. Same goes for Korea. I just love the fact that i'm there, enjoying the breeze, the place, the atmosphere. I was expecting that we'd be walking around but no. We kept being stuck in the same shop for so long that i got so damn bored.

When the clock hit 9.30, i couldnt take it anymore. I knew i wasnt gonna get anything and whatever they were seeing, was nothing that interests me. So i went home. & yes i'm home right now, feeling so comfortable phew~

I'm gonna go bathe right now, then probably drink a cup of choco milk(I'M STILL CONTEMPLATING -_-), and watch some show~ Wow my "night life" is awesome ok. :) Hehehehehe buhbye

Killer thoughts deep in the night

2012-02-19T04:09:00.001+08:00

It's 3.38am in the morning now.
Can I just say this post is just for..... nonsensical thoughts? I mean I might wake up later in the morning, look at this again and go like, "DID I ACTUALLY POSTED THIS?!" Yes. I'm currently having one of those FML moments where I just can't get to sleep obviously because I'm thinking of stuff I don't really wish to think about.

I thought about Poly, about Lasalle, about clothes, about weight issues, about almost everything in my life for almost 2hours now. And for your information, night thoughts are ALWAYS negative. What the hell.

I have this strong feeling in me that I'm not going to enjoy the next 3 years of my life. I'm going to meet irritating people whom I just simply can't click with. I'm going to be judged by many people because I cannot dress well, I don't dress like a girl and stuff like that. God I just need 1 true friend I swear.

Thoughts on how I need to slim down is extremely overwhelming tonight. & it's all because of one shorts. So I bought a new shorts earlier this week which is US size 6. Usually for shorts I'd get 8 because I have fat thighs. When I took size 6, my mother gave me a really doubtful look because the shorts looked really small.
Mom: You sure that's your size?
Me: uh yeah? my previous shorts too loose for me.
Mom: It looks really small.
Me: I can fit la! you want me to try issit? wait. -rushes to the dressing room, but didn't try cuz there were too many people-
Mom: You don't need to try if it's your size.
All I could think of at that moment was "Did I freaking put on weight?" She made me thought that I really bought the wrong size so I went to try immediately when I reached home. It fitted perfectly. I totally heaved a sigh of relief.

Then all night I've been thinking.......... about being small size. I MEAN HOW CUTE WOULD THAT BE? This is Singapore, not freaking USA. Who gives a shit about being tall? Every freaking Singaporean guy is getting shorter each year. You mean you'd like your boyfriend to be half a head shorter than you?! That's just a really humongous turn off I swear. Not that I can do anything to my height so I've already accepted the fact that I'm considered tall in Singapore. I would like to wear heels everyday, though. NOT BECAUSE I WANNA BE TALL, BUT BECAUSE I WANNA LENGTHEN MY DAMN SHORT PIG LEGS. But I can't. It might make my legs hurt like mad crazy and I might look like a freaking giant, about to wallop them anytime when I'm with my friends. Sigh. What is this? Inproportionate body I accept, but at least give me a short body and long legs, not long body short legs right?! -.- (I don't get why I'm whining over issues that can never change.)

Dang. Time check: 4.05am.

I gotta wake up before freakin 10am later. I really don't know what time I'll fall asleep.... Insomnia is driving me more than insane. Is there a medicine that can make me sleep, for 8 hours straight without waking up? DUH SLEEPING PILLS. Seriously, where do I get sleeping pills from? I've never seen it in my entire life. My parents keep telling me to sleep early. AS IF IT'S SO EASY. I switched off my computer, didn't touch my phone and tried to sleep for 2 whole hours. Did I sleep? NO. I end up thinking all sorts of nonsense and end up posting my nonsense thoughts. Awesome.... My whole body system is so screwed I can't think of anything else to say.

Hugs and kisses

2012-02-18T00:44:00.000+08:00

Since the clock as already struck 12, it's 18th Febuary, and that means......................

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAIDANAH-AH-AH-AH

She's the best girlfriend ever and you can NEVER EVER DOUBT THAT. :D Though i knew her only 3 years instead of the supposedly 5(if i went to Bishan Park Secondary in Sec1), there's still the strong scary(HEHEHE) bond between us that is worth more than 5 years. Yeah we'll all grow old together hehoha. I love you pabz~♥

We caught Midnight In Paris today at Cineleisure. That was just one weird show... As usual, walked around town here there everywhere. I suggested to go find Amanda at her workplace. But when we reached there she wasnt there :( Probably out for lunch. Then we went to find Andrea, and guess who we saw? AMANDA!!! What a coincidence... Haha had dinner at Charlie Brown's Cafe. Sat there and chatted for quite awhile. I love the atmosphere there. It feels so good. After that we walked to Abercrombie and Fitch building. That place was da bomb, except for the freakin strong manly cologne. It's very unique i can say, but the clothes look all the same. I guess i just like how they make the whole place so mysterious.

Reached home at 10 and was busy the whole 2hours and now i'm still busy blogging nonsense. I've been wanting to drink water and almost 3hours have passed and i havent had a single sip. GOD. & i havent even watched any episodes of The Lying Game. I'm like dying to watch it and i will after blogging, which is right now! See ya guys. Tomorrow, whoops i mean today, will be a fun fun day! HOHO

Mundane life

2012-02-17T00:41:00.001+08:00

Hi everybody. It's another typical day at home. I think i've been using this sentence for many posts. SORRY my life's that boring.

I woke up at 1pm this very day, laid on my bed for an hour, ate breakfast cereal at 2.30 and then felt tired already. Seriously, what kind of lifestyle is this? I can only recall pigs does such things. HAHA. I was in the stoning mood the whole day. I really don't know what i did the whole day. Cuz afterall messing around with my own phone, it was already 7pm. So i ate dinner and alot of other nonsense and then it was 9pm.

LOL Skyped with Jai till now. Initially there were 2 photos that she took of me. But somehow she claimed she lost one of them. LOL whatever i'm gonna dig it out no matter what the next time i use her computer. As for now, i've started this new show called "The Lying Game". Sigh needa probably get Pretty Little Liars DVD if i wanna continue watching it and as for House of Anubis, i guess i'm foregoing it since they never upload the complete season..

My face is getting from bad to worst as the day passes and i dont know what to do with it. Guess i shall just leave it as it is... Oh & i'm not liking my new poly school mates. I cannot click with them at all sigh. Whatever i'm just thinking on the bright side. There is a total of 40 student intakes for my course. & currently, i only know like 5/6 of them, which is a very small amount only. THANK THE LORD. Please give me some normal people that i can mix with............ Don't give me childish idiots that i wish to punch everyday when i go school :(

[TO MY FUTURE CLOSE FRIEND IN POLY, OBVIOUSLY THIS DOESNT REFER TO YOU.]

Jaicharnette's day at my house

2012-02-15T22:34:00.000+08:00

Heya pretty lil things i'm back with another post woohoo!!! Clap your hands!!!! LOL okay chilled with Jai and Charlotte today. Had my lunch with them at Nex and then went to my house. Major webcam spam!!!! But i'm not gonna post all.. Cuz seriously some of them, you can't even recognise us.

Charlotte looks like a freakin pontianak.

Spot charlotte LOL

These are a few examples of what i meant when i said you cant even recognise us.

(NOT MEANT FOR PEOPLE WITH A WEAK HEART)

It's Jai on the left, followed by Charlotte in the middle, then me on the right.

Oh well. Afterall i did spammed quite a number of photos. If you managed to reach to the end of this, HOHO grats to you. Tomorrow is gonna be once again, a boring day. Cuz i'll be at home, ALONE, with no shows to watch. :( Sigh should i just buy pretty lil liars' dvd? It's so expensive though :( Sigh i rather spend the money on something else.. Guess i'll just decide on what to do in the later part of the night. HMMM or should i say tomorrow morning? HAHA. Screwed bodyclocks...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!! ♥

2012-02-14T23:13:00.002+08:00

Who's my DATE for Valentines???? TADA! It's been revealed! The 4 girls on top hohoho~ It's been an awesome, tiring day today. We saw couples on the streets, people carrying balloons and roses and weird valentine stuff. WELL WHO CARES ABOUT THAAAT?!

Went to Town today and just walked anywhere, everywhere. Had lunch at about 2-ish and then we started walking. God it was at 6-ish my legs started aching so badly and most of us were tired so we decided to head to Coffee Bean to rest and drink some coffee. I totally forgotten that chocolate makes me mad hyper and ordered Double Chocolate ice blended, COFFEE based. GOD I'm CRAZY.

Poor Charlotte, had to suffer my extreme craziness. She was somewhat my 'target' of the night. HAHAHA. Aw she's awesome no matter what though really. I was disturbing her boyfriend(Apple) on the way back. Charlotte and i were so happily talking on the train and was suddenly disrupted by Apple's phonecall. ROARRR.

Okie dokie so i went way crazy the whole evening. Literally making so much noise everywhere i go after that coffee. God ._. Someone tell me why chocolate stuff makes me so crazy.... I'm so weird. LOL. We went to New look, which was our last stop of the day and was inside for very long. I DONT KNOW WHAT WE WERE DOING. I was bored and decided to take photos. After taking like almost more than 20 shots, this sales lady told us we couldnt take photos in the shop. TOO BAD~ WE ALREADY DID LOL!

Hahaha it was a really an awesome day. Kinda sad Jai and Yvonne couldnt join us, if not i'm sure it'd be an even more awesome day since it's full house. BWAHAHA. Since i started the post with a group photo, now i shall end it off with another group photo!

Happy Valentine's Day everybody!!!

Spread your love!

xoxo♥

Pre Valentines.

2012-02-13T20:59:00.004+08:00

Hello everyone. So how's pre valentine's day going for you guys? I went grocery shopping with my mom and maid. HAHA. Ok honestly i don't care about Valentine's day. WUT? It's Tuesday tomorrow. There's a Tuesday every week so what's the big fuss about it? -acts blur-

My main point is, if you're single then celebrate with your friends and family, or just live like it is. What's the point of telling the whole world you're #foreveralone?! As if after saying that, your fairygodmother will magically appear and dress you up and make you have a date. AND~ If you're attached, HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS! Celebrate without driving people nuts with all those mushy yucky posts you post on facebook and twitter. You already have your other half, don't need to get so much attention okie?!

Have been spamming episodes of House of Anubis the whole day. I'm done with all the 23 episodes they have on Funshion. WHERE ARE THE REST!!! :@ SIGH. That's sad. I found a new show to watch, Hart of Dixies. BUT! For some reason they don't allow me to watch. Like what the hell.... Now i'm like waiting for the new episode for both New girl & Gossip Girl.. I wanted to continue Vampire Diaries but Season 1 was nowhere to be found.. Argh pissed. Why is finding episodes so hard these days? God.

Honestly my appetite is not entirely back. How can any normal person survive on one meal a day and afew junkies everyday? The best part is i don't even lose weight like drastically. My metabolism rate is probably as slow as a snail. Duhhhhhhh ah who cares. If it takes me 5 years to be slim then 5 years it shall be. I shall just sit here and envy people with long legs normal length body and pretty skin. -_-

Sleepy

2012-02-12T23:25:00.003+08:00

Hey! It's such a sleepy day today. I woke up 25 minutes before my guitar lesson! Insanity. Actually it's 10 minutes before, but i decided to skip Aural, hence 25minutes. I rushed like nutz. I took less than 15 minutes to bathe. I didn't even entirely blew dry my hair. Of course the only reason why i woke up late was because i slept at almost 5am in the morning.....

After guitar lesson, i went home and searched for shows to watch. LOL i'm so bored :( & i found out! House of Anubis! It's nickolodean show. I saw it's so called previews when it was on TV but i obviously didnt have time to watch since it was last year. Haha. I think the main actress, Nathalia Ramos is so pretty!

I found out she's Yasmin from the Bratz movie! Omg Bratz! You know those dolls right? Bratz? HAHA. I used to have Cloe and Dana dolls. Wonder where it went.. Surprisingly i still have the baby bratz of Cloe and the twins, Phoebe and Roxxi! I didnt watch the Bratz movie though... I SHOULD! I only watch the dolls tv series when i was younger. HAHA..

I'm kinda determined to sleep early today but.... i don't know if it'll work. I initially wanted to sleep before 1am last night. When i was about to sleep, SOMEBODY was awake and we texted the whole night. & that was the reason why i fell asleep at 5. Gawd hopefully i sleep. I NEED SLEEP. My skin is screaming "I NEED FREAKING SLEEP YOU BITCH!!!!" to me already. LOL! So, i will SLEEP, hopefully, after afew more episodes of House of Anubis~!

Taking this one to the grave.

2012-02-11T21:04:00.001+08:00

Hello darlings. It's another typical Saturday at home, with my computer. Haha.. I NEED SCHOOL TO START. No joke. I'm gonna die at home. I want to make new friends. Want to audition for Foreign bodies. WANT TO STUDY! (In a way.... LOL)

I did practically nothing today. I woke up at 12 because i had to collect something that i bought MONTHS ago. I kinda have this problem where i buy something online, and forget to collect. Then months later, i'll be like EH!? I haven't collect the thing i bought! I bought Kim hyun joong's Lucky album when it was just released, and his BOF fanmeeting album, that is almost 4months ago. Ohmy. LOL. Now it's in my hands HOHOHO!

Watched dream high 2 and MBLAQ's hello baby after i returned home. & then fell asleep for an hour until Spencer came into my room and wake me up for no reason!!! Yawnz. It was 7pm already. Time flies faster than the speed of light man i swear.

Had dinner. Blah~~~~ Time flew again and it's already almost 9pm!!! Haha what a joke right. What's with time. Sooner or later, time will be the next currency, like the movie In Time. Oh my that's really the last thing i would want to happen.

I've been complaining about my long irritating fringe for awhile now and yesterday nightwas the maximum tolerance i've had with that long fringe. It was kinda late and obviously i wouldnt wanna go to a salon just to have my fringe cut. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I decided to cut it myself. Yeah you heard it right, MYSELF. It was pretty long so i figured i could risk it. Fortunately, IT TURNED OUT WELL! I mean not as well as a hair stylist but at least it's presentable. Took me quite awhile because i wanted short fringe but didnt wanna snip it off immediately so i cut bit by bit.

Previously, my fringe could cover up till my mouth area, and now, the longest part of my fringe is up till my nose area, which is acceptable!! :)

Yay *jumps around like a happy small girl~* hehehe.

The only problem i needa fix now, IS MY FACE!!! ACNE HAS RETURNED TO HAUNT ME!!!! I guess it's probably because of the 4am sleep every night. GOD I NEED TO SWITCH MY BLOODY BODYCLOCK BACK!!! & that's why, I NEED SCHOOL TO START!!! :@

Pretty things

2012-02-10T17:46:00.001+08:00

Hi guyz. Apparently, my room is not done. I'm not done with my wallpaper and some of the shelves are still empty. Ok.... I'm lazy to do all those stuffffff. Heheh, the only thing i'm lacking in my room now, is still a television. I NEED a television in my room. My laptop's screen tooooo small :( Guess that's gonna take some time.

Caught Chronicles with Jai yesterday. I honestly wouldnt give this movie a good rating. I don't know, this show isnt as good as i thought it'd be. Maybe because i expected more than that. Haha. Had a whole load of fun with her anyway. Well it's always fun to be with Jai, the indescribable joker :P

Recently i've been getting lots of.... zits. Probably because of my sleeping hours and my monthly period. Sigh. Poor girls like us have to go through with shit like this... I really hope it goes away after another week or so. Also, i've been watching Pretty lil liars since yesterday after borrowing the disc from Josephine. I.... don't really get the storyline, but i'll just watch it anyway since i've got nothing much to do.

Needa go shopping soon. I need new clothes again.

JAE posting results.

2012-02-08T23:56:00.003+08:00

Right now, i'm going to tell the whole world what course i got into. I've been getting lots of weird reactions from people and I really dont know how to deal with it.

NAN YANG POLYTECHNIC - DIGITAL VISUAL EFFECTS

I don't know why some people must judge me. How many times must i say that i am not meant for studying? I got a freaking 22 for O levels, which is half of what i usually score. & honestly even though i calculated that i got 18, i was still happy i could get into a Polytechnic. I'm upset at first that i get into Visual Effects, because i thought it'd be boring. However, when i looked at the modules, IT LOOKS FUN OK. Better than some of the business courses that you guys are in. I know some of you have already thought of your future and this journey is part of it so you dont mind leading the same old boring school life. I am honestly not sure of mine. WELL WHO KNOWS RIGHT? If i'm successful at this, I MIGHT ACTUALLY GO WORK FOR SOME FAMOUS COMPANY AND EARN BIG BUCKS WHILE YOU FREAKING BUSINESSMEN AND WOMEN LEAD THE SAME OLD MUNDANE LIFE EVERY SINGLE DAY..

Every single damn thing has its pros and cons. Please don't judge me. I might not have any talent. I might not know how to draw, how to cook, how to hack a computer, but at least i'm not worth nothing. At least i know i have a passion for dance and i still can dance at NYP. I think i still belong to the middle class society. Please don't treat me like trash. NYP, NP, SP, RP, TP. THEY ARE ALL POLYS. What's there to compare? So just shut up and lead your lives OKAY?!

Now that i'm done with the rant, i shall talk more about my modules, which kinda excites me. Colour Theory, Digital photography fundamentals, Cinematography, Digital Film editing~ I just kinda listed out some of them if not this is gonna get too long. Oh my god photography WOOHOO KUDOS TO ME I CAN'T WAIT. I love such things~ Seriously! My orientation programme starts on the 2nd of April and school officially starts on the 16th. I seriously can't wait.

Now there's another thing, which is Lasalle. I really don't know about this. I really wanna know where god is trying to lead me, hence i'm gonna go for the audition. If they tell me "You're accepted", i don't really know if i'm gonna shed tears of joy or sit there emotionless, contemplating on which course i should take. Huuuuurrrrr just don't make me confused and dont make me take the wrong path, lord.

I'm currently starting on ep 12 of Gossip Girl and sigh after episodde 14, it's gonna be wait time again... Why do i keep waiting?! I always wait. People make me wait for texts. Wait for this and that. God why can't you people be the one waiting for me instead and feel how I feel!?

Someone texted me at my most angsty moment just now in the afternoon, telling me about some random thing. He didnt say hi, neither did he tell me why he didn't reply my previous message. We were talking so happily until he suddenly decided to stop replying and we didnt talk for ONE WHOLE DAY. Then he suddenly just tell me his friends asked him out to da Zoo on Sunday. JUST ONE TEXT. Nothing else. Seriously nothing else. What the hell!? If you don't wanna talk to me, DON'T TEXT ME. You don't play push and pull games with me cuz i'll definitely kick ur ass.

Everything kinda pisses me off today. I don't know why really. I thought only girls play mind games. Now guys too?! Awesome~ hahaha nonsense actually i don't really care. I think my bo-chap attitude can drive people nutz. I'm sorry~ hehehahaa

This post is getting kinda long~ HAHA CUZ I GOT LOTS TO TALK ABOUT!!! Now it's about FASHION!!!!! Recently i've been looking through lookbook and i'm just like "Dang i seriously wish i can wear such beaautiful looking clothes to school...." I need to slim down. BADLY. You know i'm under the TB medication right? They will be keeping track of my weight. Hopefully after 9months, i can tell people my weight confidently. I'M JUST HOPING FOR THAT DAY TO COME.

I've been into those high waisted flair skirts. It looks so cute!!! & yes i've been watching too much Gossip Girl lately that i fell in love with Blair Waldorf's dress sense. *o* My eyes sparkles when i see how her perfect body embraces those dresses and tulip skirts. To wow you guys even more, i'm of the same height as her. CAN I MAKE HER MY MOTIVATION TO SLIM DOWN? HAHAHA

NOW I'M ENDING OF MY POST WITH MY FAVOURITE COUPLE IN GOSSIP GIRL:

(To me, their love is the only real thing in this show. LOL)

A very american day.

2012-02-07T23:37:00.002+08:00

Hello. Another day at home. Today i've painted my walls purple and pink. Well ok, i always do. But, this time, my pink wall became lighter and my purple wall became darker. I didn't really like my previous hot pink wall. I felt like so many people had the same colour, i couldnt feel the uniqueness in it anymore. It's so typical to see that colour now. So i changed it. My colour is now kinda customised because my mom told me the pink i wanted needed to be mixed. So hehehehehe, now i can be at ease. At least not as many people would have the colour as me. :P

Recently, i started a new show called New Girl. It's a new tv comedy starring Zooey Deschanel, the lady who acted in 500 days of summer. God it's a really cute and nice show. & she looked beautiful in that show honestly. People like her make me think why i'm born an asian.

Since young, i wished i was born with caucasian features really, especially their eyes. The reason why i love Koreans, it's because they make me feel like asians also have beauty and i shouldnt be jealous about the caucasians. Ah no matter what.... nothing beats caucasians actually.. When i see caucasians around, they feel so surreal. I feel like they come out from a show even though they are just typical commoners. Sigh.

Then i had nothing else to do after that because Season 1 of New Girl havent even ended and i've watched all 11 episodes in 2 days. So, i decided to continue Gossip Girl. I know i said i would continue watching Pretty lil liars but obviously i couldnt find it online. Josephine told me she'd lend me her CD, so i'll be waiting for it. At the mean time, i'll just continue Gossip girl.

I'm at Season 5 right now and it's still airing in the States. Currently, i'm at episode 7 and god i just love this show. I don't know why honestly but its just so addictive. I loooooooove Chuck Bass(Ed Westwick). He is not exactly my type of guy but in the show, i think his character is the best.

I think most people would like Nate since he's Chace Crawford but nahhhhh. Chace's character is just such a naive guy who loves older women. I abhor guys who love older women. What's wrong with them man. LOL.

Ok so while i was watching Gossip Girl, my mom suddenly came into my room and asked about my Poly schedules, like my holidays and stuff. I told her i dont know because i really dont and asked her why. She, told me she was going to the States during May. The first thing that my mind asked me to do was SCREAM. GOD UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Ok so after screaming, i asked why she was going there and stuff and i told her i wouldnt have holidays during that time obviously since Poly starts in April. THEN SHE WALKED AWAY SAYING "NEVERMIND YOU CAN SKIP SCHOOL FOR A WEEK." WHAT?! Which parent lets his/her child skips school for A FREAKING WEEK?!?! (K actually who cares.) I'm so happy i started hiding myself in da pillow and screamed like a bitch. Although spending a week at the states is kinda short, I'M MORE THAN CONTENTED. C'mon it's such a rare chance... I can't even imagine myself in Europe, what more THE STATES. I don't really know if she's joking with me or what cuz it feels too surreal to be true but anyhow, i still feel great.

K today's been a really USA day with all the shows and USA news. LOL. Right now, i know my throat is hurting so badly and i'm still freaking munching on cookies. I must be terribly insane....

Universal Studios

2012-02-06T23:03:00.000+08:00

Today was extreme madness!!! I woke up at 7.30am in the morn when i slept at 3am. Then, i had a mini fight with my mom early in the morn for NO FREAKING REASON. K nevermind bout that cuz its depressing to even talk about it. Mom gave charlotte a ride to Habourfront too since she lived near me. Had Mcbreakfast and then headed to Sentosa; Universal Studios Singapore!

That place was so foreign!!! Almost everyone were foreigners.. Haha felt so cool yo~ We stayed there from 10am-8pm. God that's the longest time i've stayed in a theme park. Usually by 4pm i'll get bored of the place and leave already. But USS was awesome!!!!! We sat the Mummy, Human&Cylon roller coasters, Transformers, watched Waterworld performance, some Donkey and Shrek show~ Actually we played almost everything there. Probably missed out a couple but~ Oh my god everything's awesome.

The person who created the Transformers ride must be freaking rich right now. He's so smart!!!! Can't digest the fact that the visual effects are so brilliant man! & oh my god the Waterworks show was terrific!! Hot guys~ & kept getting wet... ohmy~ Can someone tell me why Cylon's so CARAZAYYYYY???? I think my heart can jump out on it's own. Ok probably my core muscles are kinda VERY weak. HAHA. Can't believe i took so many roller coasters today. Seriously.... It was like a roller coaster marathon. Cylon, Human, Mummy (NON STOP) We even ran because we thought it was gonna close soon... God. I think we exercised.

Overall it was extremely fun and i don't know when will be the next time i'm gonna go there. Haha, we shall see. Hopefully the next time, the crowd won't be as crazy.. almost an hour for 1 ride. Really ridiculous.. Haha.

Of course, ending of my post with the one and only group photo we took today.

Where did i get da gutz?

2012-02-04T16:15:00.000+08:00

Wassupppppppp. Today feels like a school day. Well i mean i feel like i'm having school. I don't really know where this weird feeling is comin from. I slept looking at hyunjoong's pic, and woke up looking at it too. Hehehehe so perfect me luv him. (I don't know what's with my randomness, just felt like saying that.)

So the curtain people came with many different curtain materials this afternoon. I was just confused. I wanted my curtains to be a tone lighter than hot pink, but all they had was reds and purples and I dont know what to choose. Took a long time until i decided to go with a pinkish purple curtain. God don't really know how it'll turn out... I think people who hates my room is gonna hate my room even more after the transformation. That's what i'm feeling right now.

After they went off, i had my lunch and started jumping and dancing around. Guess i needed to digest the food. What an unhealthy way right!!! I'm sorry, Shanette is probably unique in a way or so. Hehe.

You know, i've been hoping that i could dance to the song "Buttons - Pussycat Dolls" since primary 4. I remember when i was in P4, my dance teacher was smokin hot and she was dancing to that song. & i was just sittin there, hoping that one day i could be as sexy as her. Ha..... joke. So, i decided to just look through youtube and take some steps here and there and just film myself since i had nothing to do. Yesterday night, all i did was stare at my computer screen, waiting for MBLAQ's Hello Baby ep 3 subs to come out. But it didnt. This morning when i checked, STILL NO EP 3. I'm pissed. Yeah so... ta-da? dance? random? ha.

I'm in a very sleepy mood right now seriously. Hurrrrrrrr i totally forgot i'm gonna go Universal studios this coming monday. OMG MONEY GONEEEEE. Why is it so expensive? It's really overpriced. It's not like Singapore's so poor. Why do they keep sucking money from everyone? Almost 70 bucks to get into that damn place. Sigh life stinks somehow. I really want school to start, no JOKE. I think i've spent more than 2000bucks during my holidays. People work and earn money, i just sit here and spend people's hard earn money. Hahahaha....

New room waiting for me!

2012-02-03T17:01:00.001+08:00

Someone needs to teach me how to switch my bodyclock back to normal. It's getting so crazy. I sleep like 4am on average everyday... Earliest i get to bed is 3am. God. That's just bad seriously.

Went to Ikea this afternoon. Bought a sofa, bookshelve and a coffee table! I'm gonna renovate my room!!!! So excited about it! Gonna change my walls colours and my curtains! Hmmmm but it's still gonna be pink la. Different shade of pink. I still don't know what i'm gonna do with my wall though... Needa go search up on ideas. Bwahahahaha :B

Today feels so cozy~ The weather is just nice and i'm seriously enjoying life. Haha, still got alot of time to do alot of things seriously. I just don't know what i wanna do. Exercise!!!!! I needa exercise! I needa go swimming!!!! & play more badminton with Jaijai~ I kinda miss climbing the hill at bukit timah with daddy but i know i'll give up halfway so.... Better not put myself in trouble hehehe. My JAE appeal results will be out next week!! Please tell me i get into my 1st two choices... PLEASE T_T

Now i'm gonna go watch Music bank on tv and hehehe, find inspiration. :D Bye!

Time flies.

2012-02-02T14:24:00.002+08:00

I woke up at 9 this morning and went to Tan tock seng hospital for the tb shit again. Had mcdonalds for brunch and then i did NOTHING till now. Time's passing very slowly today. I guess it's because i have nothing to do. I went to look at my pictures as old as 4 years back. Wow i realised i lost alot of pictures :( Sigh. Let's see if i've changed, appearance wise.

2008

I kinda lost MANY photos of 2008.. That's kinda sad. I remembered i lost my phone that year, that's why.

2009

(Year of depression. The only entertainment i had all year was dance.)

2010

(The year where almost everyone started to knew me better.)

2011

Only half the class

(The stressful yet memorable year)

2012

I've blogged so much this year, my face on every post.......

Time passes by so fast. I can't catch up with it's speed at all. In no time, i'll be 17 years old. Next year, i'll probably be stealing my parents car to drive. Then i'll be an adult soon already. Wow~ Honestly i feel like i'm only 15. Or younger? HAHAHA~

To any acne prone teenagers out there: ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS TO DRINK ALOT OF WATER AND SLEEP ALOT. It took me almost 2 years to heal okay. Almost went into depression cuz of my ugly skin. Even though my skin is left with scars and has occasional pimples, it's not as bad. 2 years ago, my whole face felt sore and swollen. I guess it's just a growing up process.. I'm just one of the unlucky teenagers with sensitive skin. Smile and remind yourself that almost 95% of the whole world has no perfect skin :)

Exposure.

2012-02-02T00:00:00.001+08:00

Today, i woke up at 8 for no reason at all. Like seriously i was SOOOOO tired. I slept at 3am. & then i saw Jai's message. What a rare sight to see her up so early. It took me forever to reply her message cuz i was like a zombie. Went back to sleep and woke up at 11. Still early!!! I thought we were meeting at 2pm. So i went to bathe and stuff and realised i had alot of time to kill. So i played with my curler again. There was nothing to do, i was just waiting for time to pass while looking through lookbook. Initially, i was wearing what i wore in the picture above. Then when i started to selca here and there, i realised when i raise up my arms, THATS THE AMOUNT OF SKIN EXPOSED. (Usually i'd wear that top with high waist shorts, therefore i didnt know.) So........~ I decided to go with leopard preenz.

When i was about to leave house, Latte kept acting cute la he. He too much aegyooooooo!!!

Still looking so adorable even tho he's tired~ "Yawnnnnnz~"

Caught "One For The Money" with Jai and Liqian~ Hahahaa Katherine Heigl was hawttttttt and hilarious. Went back home after that. & from then till now, i've been exploring livejournal. Arghhhhhh someone tell me why it's so complicated.. Ok maybe it's just me. I haven't looked at templates HTML codes and stuff like that for more than a year. Skills got VERY rusty... Forgotten almost everything sigh. Now i don't know how long i'll take to set up everything. Ha surprise coming up i guess? LOL.

I'm VERY hungry right now and i'm contemplating on whether i should go down and grab some food or just wait till tomorrow... Hmmmm. Gotta wake up real early tomorrow. :( Howwwww? (I think i'll just go down and grab sinful food.. HEHE)

I'ma special guest

2012-01-31T22:57:00.000+08:00

I. Purposely. Made. My. Eye. Smaller. To. Tell. The. World. "SMALL EYES ARE CUTE."

I went Jai's house today!!!!! Such a rare thing ok. We had lunch at amk first, then went to get snacks and stuff. God veeeerrryyyyyy........ sinful. Haha.

Went to her house and slacked. Initial plan was to play badminton. But when we were done with our lunch, it started pouring very heavily. So change of plans. Watched Ellen Show on tv. & then she switched to MBLAQ's Hello baby! Omg spazzed like mad~ They're so hot! At about 7pm, the rain stopped and we decided to head out and play badminton. LOL i think the neighbourhood thinks i'm crazy. We were so noisy and that place somehow gave off echos, which made it even worse. The floors were very slippery and ohmy, i fell. Thank god i didnt fell HARD. Went back to her house near 8 and her mom was so nice! She cut mangoes for us. Oh my, so delicious~ I think i ate half of the plate whoops!!! :P Hehe, i'm a fan of mangoes. Reached home before 9.

I'm posted to Nanyang Poly. Haha, i told ya god has already put my soul in that school. Unfortunately, it wasnt the course that i wanted... So i appealed. & appealing results will only be out on 8th Feb. Sigh, why do we always have to play the waiting game? I'm so sick of it. After knowing if i got into the course i want, i'll have to worry about my audition at Lasalle and my upcoming guitar exam. ARGH, & when i'm done with those, SCHOOL STARTS. Ok....

I guess tomorrow is a day home. Wow i don't know what i should do tomorrow. I've got no shows to watch... Actually i do, but i don't have that mood to watch. I don't know where my mind and soul is right now, honestly. I want school to start, to meet new friends, to start dancing again. I love the feeling of being in a dance club. & yes i'll be joining Foreign Bodies @ NYP. I heard from Heather, my friend at NYP, that i've got to get through with auditions???? Arghhhhh why is life all about tests and auditions and interviews. So sick. Nevermind i'm sure its not as tough as Lasalle's. No harm trying~ Haha. As for now, i shall just rot.....

Happy Birthday EVERYONE!

2012-01-29T23:21:00.002+08:00

(Ignore the date......)

Today's the 7th day of the Lunar New Year! & the Chinese people says it's 人日. Therefore, it's everybody's birthday today!!! Ho ho ho! Happy birthday everyone! :)

Had this cny party in the afternoon today. Relatives and parent's friends turned up. God, we're all like complete strangers. -_- Seriously? Especially this "aunty" ah. She talks to everyone else EXCEPT for my family. She looks at me as if she wants to kill me. She says "Happy New Year" as if i force her to. Basically she just hates my family. WHY MAN WHY!? I don't get it. One of my cousins and i have acne problem. She bothers asking my cousin about it, BUT DOESNT EVEN TALK TO ME. Not like i wanna talk to her, but yeah. I don't think i've offended her in any way lor please. Why did my parents even bother inviting their family huh!? That family got cny gathering also never invite us ah please. Why can't i have a happy family like all the other people?! I see other people's big family photo, i feel so envious ah. Don't talk about talking photos with my cousins, we don't even ask each other "HOW ARE YOU?" Gosh feel kinda sad really...... This kinda gathering makes me feel damn depressed. I mean, WE'RE RELATED LEH. Oh my god. We can't even start a short conversation with each other.. Argh.

Yvonne, Liqian and Andrea came to the gathering too. Kinda bore the hell out of them lol~ Andrea went home at 4.30pm. Yvonne, Liqian and i decided to catch a night movie. Caught "Dance dance dragon". Awesome show but nothing beats "We not naughty" hahaha. Reached home at about 10 and daddy started talking to me about school and stuff. Lalalala posting results will be out tomorrow. I really don't know where i'll end up. Sigh :(

I have decided.

2012-01-29T01:41:00.001+08:00

So I'm currently blogging through my phone thus, i don't really know how long or short this post will LOOK like. Today's an average day. Doesn't feel like a Saturday at all. That's probably because everyday feels like a Saturday to me. Holidays gettin too long... haha.

I met up with Jai at J8 in the afternoon to return our due library books and had our lunch at Mos burger. Headed to Fanny's house after that and slacked there the whole afternoon. Mommy then texted me, saying that they were coming over to fetch me for dinner. So went for dinner, then straight home. Nothing really interesting today.

I've been thinking about this question that I always couldn't answer when someone ask me. "Who would you pick? Someone who loves you more, or someone whom you love more?" I've got my answer~ I'd totally go with someone whom I love more. I KNOW, that's kind of a stupid answer but have you ever heard of the song "Thinking of you - Katy Perry"? This song's been stuck in my head for so long, but I just couldn't remember the title until I saw it somewhere today. That song pretty much explains how I feel about this. If I'm with someone who loves me more, I'll always be thinking about the other someone whom I love more. That's bad, isn't it? Haha, love hurts, that's what they all say, and I agree. You can't escape that.

Sorry for all these weird nonsensical talk about such things. I've said before, thoughts like this keep flashing through my head. Too much drama~ Well the next "topic" I wanna talk about is Smokers.

I've been wanting to say my feelings about smoking so many times on twitter. Then I realized many "friends" of mine have already started smoking. -_- & they might think i'm against them. I kinda am but I'm trying to close one eye about it because I'm not their mother I can't tell them to stop. I'm not a very good friend of them either so there's no reason why they should listen to me. I used to hate smokers alot. Well I still do but..... I don't know. I don't get why people want to even pick up smoking in the first place. Your nails would get black, hands and mouth and every part of your body gets smelly, money gets wasted and you'd look like you're 30 years old when you're only 20. What the hell???? With all the money that you guys used to buy cigarettes, I can probably buy many many beautiful dresses from branded shops.

You smokers say you hate it when people walk pass you and they hold their breath. SERIOUSLY WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? It's a fact that it's smelly and YOU are smelly. If you don't want people to do that then DON'T SMOKE. Please don't tell me you use freaking perfume to cover up the cigarette smell because FYI, it just makes everything smell worse. I can understand the previous generation(our parents generation) smoke. Most of them didn't have proper education about such things and all they did was follow their parents. BUT YOU GUYS????? Don't say you're stressed cuz that's a freaking stupid answer. Don't say its cool cuz that'd would just prove that you're mental. Eating is a way to distress. Watching shows is a way to distress. Maybe talking to somebody might help. Must you SMOKE? NO! I can never ever find a reason for myself to hold a cigarette on my hands.

Well I'm kinda done with the smoking rant. Hate for all you want. Ha!

I need a new life.

2012-01-28T01:35:00.000+08:00

Went Jurong East for a swim with Liqian, Yvonne and Charlotte today. It was so fun. I love the pool. I love the quietness over there. It's almost empty man, seriously. Felt so good. Bumped into afew Bpsians outside the complex~ What a coincidence! We then headed to West mall for dinner. Charlotte's boyfriend came when we were almost done with our food. Reached home at about 10.

I want a life-changing-experience. I want to befriend princesses, queens and kings. A part of me wants to be a princess, because afterall i'm still a girl. I grew up playing barbie dolls, fighting with my brother over the smallest stuff, whining about every single thing i hated. I love to play dress up games. I used to play with my mom's make up. I also loved to play pretend-to-be-disney-princesses-games with my childhood friend. But god didn't want me to grow up to be a pretty young lady. He didn't gave me the body to embrace. He didn't give me the face people would love to see. He didnt give me hands a lady should have. He didn't give me the skin a princess should have. From young, i had scars everywhere, i had tanned lines because of swimming too much under the scorching sun and i was born hairy. What? Seriously.....

I wonder why i'm always not invited to any parties. By that i don't mean lame BBQ outings or some HDB flat bbq shit. I want to attend parties.. :( Parties that are properly planned beforehand.. I love it when people plan things. This is probably why i feel like there isn't a need for me to dress up. DRESS UP FOR WHO TO SEE? ME? What the hell....

Sigh i don't know why recently i'm having such thoughts. I feel like i haven't found where i belong. Ok obviously i haven't. I don't know where i stand. I'm not rich, neither am i poor. I'm not smart, neither am i stupid. I don't belong to the upper class society, i don't belong to the lower class either. I'M JUST, IN THE MIDDLE AND I HATE IT. I seriously don't know what has gotten into me lately. I think i've been watching too much shows at home. I NEED A SOCIAL LIFE. CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME OUT? I'm crying for help here. CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?

They say, if i can't even love myself, how can i even expect others to love me? Yeah.... I guess i'll have to love myself first even though i really don't know what's there to love.

I really wished fairytales happened.

2012-01-27T00:02:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was a school day for most of the all students i guess but spencer's school was an exception because his school did well in the O levels and his principal decided to give them a day off. Dad also took leave and mom doesnt even have work, so it felt like i had 3 CNY holidays instead of 2.

Went to visit uncle Joseph. He's related to uncle Edward's wife. So yeah. Did nothing much there. I thought we were disturbing them actually. Sigh i kinda wished i was close with his children. I mean i've known them since i was a kid but i was never ever ever EVERRRR close to them. Oh our age gaps are kinda wide i guess.. 19, 21, 23 and i'm....... 16 not yet 17. I guess i'm just socially awkward... Cuz i dont see how my cousin has problems talking to them like they are of the same age. I still remember all 3 of them kinda like donated their kiddy story and puzzle books to me when i was 7 or something..

WHY. AM. I. ALWAYS. SO. AWKWARD? I can't even talk to my cousins. It feels like i have NO cousins at all. Sigh everytime i see their family bond, i feel so envious of their lives. Being able to hang out with them every now and then.... I want to be able to socialise with people but i feel that they are putting a wall in between me and whoever the other party is. WHY?!

........... I really wish i can rewind time back to 2 days ago. I wanna say hi, but then i think about how the conversation will get nowhere and therefore, i decided to back out. That person's gonna go Europe to further his studies this March and i might not see him in another 3 years. Owelllll. In 3 years time, i'll be 20 and he'll be... 25. LOL ohmygod i'll be an adult by then. Ha ha ha i'll just go where god leads me...

As much as i know about miracles, it happens. 7 years ago i had a crush on this guy. 6 years later we actually went on a date and this year, he actually confessed. Well not that i have any feelings for him, but YEAH.. How could that happen man. I was shocked. Hahaha.

So let's just see who i'm gonna end up with. WHO KNOWS IT MIGHT JUST BE THAT SOON-TO-BE-25-YEARS-OLD-GUY-IN-3-YEARS-TIME~ Bleh k i'm a dreamer. For now, i'll just be sad about it and 3 years will soon fly pass.

Infatuation? GO AWAY! I DONT WANT THAT.

2012-01-25T02:42:00.001+08:00

Ok i'm in an uber stressed mood now. I've got no one to talk to and the only person whom i thought would listen to me talk, ACTUALLY IGNORED MY MESSAGE. Well, if she didnt reply me obviously she ignored it. That's saddening.

It's 2.10am in the morning on the 25th of January and i'm just, STRESSING OUT! I really don't know what i'm stressing about though.

I slept at 3am last night and got up at 10 in the morning. That's insufficient sleep. & usually if that happens, i'll fall asleep in the afternoon. & that didnt happen to me today. Ok i meant yesterday. & i'm still up so late, fantasizing over some imaginary future. EH?! I gotta wake up from it but i dont know how. I can't seem to distract myself from it. I'm like hoping it'd happen again. GOD i'm not making any sense.

I wanna be 20 soon :( I feel like i'm too young.... Or maybe my group of friends are old. K i don't get it. When i was 13, 17 was very old to me. Like when i hear people say, "i'm 17." My mind would just tell me that she's old enough to do anything she likes. Now that i'm turning 17, i feel YOUNG, because other people is gonna be 20 or 20PLUS. & age gaps are some weird thangs. When i was 13 and hear that my friends are dating someone 5 years older, i'd go "WHAT THE HELL HE'S TOO OLD FOR YA." Now that i'm 17, and if someone tells me she's dating someone who's in their early 20s, it feels normal.

OH MY GOD I'M REALLY SORRY I'M NOT IN A VERY GOOD STATE TO BLOG NOW.

AND I'VE GOT AN IDEAL GUY IN MIND. This is so random but YEAH! & i know i've got stalkers OMG STALKERS HI. AND AND i prefer talking to people IN REAL LIFE than to TYPE TYPE TYPE HERE. Cuz you know why? When you're online, there's this computer language thing. Sometimes people "lol" cuz they are just bored with you, and sometimes because they really mean it. YOU'LL NEVER KNOW UNLESS YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH THAT PERSON FOR A LONG TIME.

& sometimes i laugh real hard when someone sees my facebook relationship status and thinks it's real. SERIOUSLY I'M STRAIGHT. Hi guyz if you read this, i'm freaking straight so don't assume anything k! Even though i'm not very extremely girly i'm still very extremely straight k. LOL.

I'm sorry i needa stop this random post because fyi it's 2.40am now and. I don't know. I just can't get any sleep thinking about what happened just now. So yeah see ya babies.

Out of my comfort zone!

2012-01-24T22:09:00.001+08:00

I got wokened up by Winnie and my mom this morning at 9plus10 cuz they said we were gonna leave house at 11am. I was like dang i need some sleep. Slept at 3plus last night so obviously i had an insufficient amount of sleep. After i got dressed and stuff, dad told me that the owner of the house that we were supposed to visit wasnt home. So i actually couldve gotten like 2 more hours of sleep. Arrrrrghhhhhhh kinda spoilt my morning.

Went to uncle Edward's house. At first i didnt know who he was until i saw his son playing DDR with afew small kids. K........ It was getting so boring there. 1st, i didnt know how to use their remote control. LOLWTF. No matter what i pressed, the channel or whatever didnt change. So i was like stucked at Channel U. No one there knew who i was so i had no one to talk to. Sigh :(

All of a sudden, uncle Edward came talking to dad about Spencer's school and weight and stuff. So i just sat there and listened to their "stories". AND THEN, out of the blue, Eugene became extremely hyper over the weight issue because uncle Edward said he used to be my brother's size. & from there, he started talking to my mother and spencer. Everything was so hilarious man!!! So entertaining. For once i didnt feel so bored in such gatherings/visitings. However, my dad just had to spoil everything. He suddenly said we had to go and then where did we head to? HOME. Wa seriously. I was like WHATTTTT. Just when the fun started, he had to spoil the fun. So sad.

Came home and watched afew episodes of Gossip girl and then went for dinner at Payalebar. Then headed to my 1st uncle's house. Hehe i love their dog~ One of the oldest dogs i've known. It's like the bigger version of Latte~ How cute! Today is like a Dog-Talk-Day. Mom and Eugene was talking about his sick dog today, and then my aunt was also talking about her dog juz now tooooo. Yay dogs' are men's best friend. They are too adorableeeee. I love pets~

So i don't know what i'm gonna do tomorrow. Let's just see bout that. For now i'll be gone! TATA!

I'm bringin sexyback, YEAH!

2012-01-23T23:09:00.002+08:00

Outfit for first day of CNY~

Hello princesses! I'm back from collecting angbaos! You know? People gamble and get wasted on during Chinese New Year. I dont do that. Sigh no wonder it's so boring. I don't really have friends that i can drink with :( Plus my brother's still somewhat young to drink and so yeah, only a word to describe my day, BORING.

So i continued watching Gossip Girl but i somewhat couldnt concentrate on what i was watching. Don't know where my mind was at. So i decided to browse through www.lookbook.nu. Kinda wished i was skinny enough to wear all those beautiful clothes :( Sigh when will i ever slim down...

Fion and family came over to my house for visiting in the night! Talked alot about JCs and Polys and school stuff etc. Hahahaaa felt good talking about nonsense honestly. Took polaroids tooooo. Hehe thankfully, the night turned out well..

Sorry if my eyes looked alil sore... It was in pain when i took this photo!

The one and only lady i've known my entire life~

Chinese New Year's EVE!

2012-01-22T22:26:00.004+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year's Eve!!! :)

Hello peopleeeee~ I've ate a little TOO MUCH today. Sigh. I finished up a jar of cookies, ate ba gua, then dinner and lunch, NOW i'm tempted by the CNY goodies on my dining table. Oh my god. Seriously!!!! Usually ONE MEAL is enough for me. I hate how my stomach gets bloated every night. God, it's damn uncomfortable! I really don't like where chinese new year is going. I can't imagine how much weight i'm going to put on. :( Sigh... At times like this i wish i'd suddenly grow 10cm taller so that my weight would even out.

I've started with Gossip Girl Season 4! I think i'm going a little too fast.. Just 4days ago i was still at Season 2... Hahaha. I hope Season 5 is available online because i need to catch up with that~ After that i'll probably continue with Pretty Lil Liars. I don't think i wanna continue Vampire Diaries... I think Vampire stories is kinda overrated right now, so yeah.

& I really wish school would start now... I need to switch my body clock back and only school can switch it back for me :( Look at how big my eyebags have grown... Sigh!!! WHY DO EYEBAGS GROW ANYWAY!? It's not like I'm not getting enough sleep! Irritating body. Why can't god just make us all perfect?!?!

When CNY's over, JAE results will be out. If i dont get into the course i want, i needa appeal and i'll need to wait again. After THAT, Lasalle audition and essays and interviews. Oh god. I keep stressing out.. OH Valentine's Day is coming too! Hmmm well every year has always been the same for me. Ah whatever life is just too boring sometimes.

I need some charm in me.

2012-01-22T00:08:00.002+08:00

Hello~~~~~ I've bought my Gossip Girl seasons 3 and 4 yesterday and hopefully i don't shock you, because i'm gonna be done with Season 3 soon. I'm left with 4 episodes. Gosh it's just so addictiveee.

So i submitted my documents at Lasalle yesterday too and sigh.... I've been thinking alot about it even though i've been keeping my eyes on the screen cuz of Gossip Girl. I feel like i dont make the cut. I'm just a girl with passion, not talent. I think i've said something about this before so i shall not crap too much here. I just hope i get chosen somehow.. I really wish i do.

Yesterday, i saw Instagram and saw a dance junior of mine posted a picture of her flexibility. & i remembered taking a photo with the same pose. Didn't wanna post it up because............ :( sigh i'm a plus sized -_- Well.... I think it's kinda disturbing to some people to see a plus sized girl doing such moves BUT lol, probably proves that girls of my size also can have such flexibility?

Alright, actually i've got nothing much i can write about. Tomorrow's Chinese New Year's Eve and i'm sure i'm gonna get bombed by all those ridiculous questions on Monday and stuff.... Yeah -_- Not really looking forward to that honestly.

I really wished i was from a freaking rich family. Like seriously rich? The kind of rich where i can just fly off to anywhere and be back in a day without planning, go into a shop and buy anything that pleases my eye without thinking, wear beautiful dresses and be a lady where other rich families judges you <- IN A GOOD WAY? (LOL RIDICULOUS BUT YEAH?) I wonder how that feels. I live in a middle class. I'm neither here NOR there. God why must i be born in Singapore....? WHY????? You know what? I will TRY not to criticise myself anymore. I think i can write a book about how imperfect i am, in EVERY and ANY way you can EVER think of.

I need to find where i belong. I want to be myself but i also wanna be someone whom the world accepts. Guess it's really hard to live a life I want.

Wavy hair fetish

2012-01-19T19:34:00.001+08:00

Okie hello darlings i'm back again with another new post.

So i'm almost done with Season 2, like another episode to go and i'm thinking of getting Season 3 tomorrow, since i'm heading out. I've called up Somerset's outlet and they didnt have stock for it. Hehe i just wanted to make sure they didnt have stock. So i called up the other outlet, which is at Marina Square & the good news is........ THEY HAVE STOCK!!!! Yay me! HAHA. I needa think of a way to tell my mom i wanna get both S3&4 together so i don't need to keep going back there to get it. HMV kills me :( Cuz everytime i go there, there's so many albums i wanna buy!! 2NE1's Concert DVD! It's 60 bucks!!! & if i wanna get both s3&4 together, it's 180bucks in total!!! So i've decided. I'm not getting 2ne1's dvd until i'm done with gossip girl. I have no idea how long i'll have to wait for S5's DVD to come out..

Due to watching too much of Gossip Girl, i've been into curls lately. K actually it's been quite some time since i'm into curls. The first time was when i was watching We got married(Yongseo). I kinda liked how wavy Seohyun's hair looked. It's so natural looking. Then Blair Waldorf and Serena Van der woodson got me into the curly hair feel again. So i decided to try it out on my own hair last night. That was the first time i used the curling iron and it didnt turn out that well. Hmmmm? Everyone's got a first right? Hahaha.

I was trying to achieve Blake Lively's messy wavy hairstyle. Guess i didn't manage to get that. HAHA. So i tried again this afternoon, but it turned out worst....... :( Sigh. It looks more like Seohyun's curls to me. Not really the look that i wanted i guess.

Bad lighting VS Not-So-Bad lighting. Sorry guys!

THEN! I tried it again in the evening, which is a moment ago before writing this post. It kinda turned out the way i wanted! I found the correct method to curl it! Unfortunately, i didnt take any photos~ Haha, contemplating if i should do this for CNY.... Hmmm maybe not. I don't know yet! We shall see~ Hopefully i'll get my S3&4 tomorrow woohoo!!!

Sweet talks

2012-01-18T20:50:00.000+08:00

Hi babies i'm back here. I slept at 4 in the morning, and was supposed to wake up at 9plus. Obviously i overslept and when i looked at my phone, it was almost 11am. I had to head to W's house at like 12. "OSHUCKS I'M LATE!!!!" That's what i thought. I quickly rushed out of the house and to my surprise, i was actually 20minutes earlier~ To top of that, i walked like a zombie, literally.

Had chicken rice for brunch at a nearby coffeeshop and went W's house to slack till 2. I was too tired so yeah, i fell asleep, again. Headed down to Somerset's HMV after that to get my Gossip Girl DVD and THANKGOD they had Season 2. They didn't have Season 3 there and i'm kinda worried? Cuz in no time, i'll be done with season 2. I'm like at episode 15 now. I'm sure before the weekends i'll be done with Season 2 :( I need my season 3..

I think i said in my previous post that i'd get my IC done and stuff but HA HA HA, lazy worms got into me and yes i didnt get it done. Probably tomorrow??? Since my mom's gonna be home and I'M gonna be home... Liqian, Charlotte and I was supposed to go swimming tomorrow. I swear i looked forward to it... Until i heard something visited Charlotte..... Thus plans got cancelled :(

You know? It actually feels good to not have the K-pop vibe in me. Afterall i used to love English shows more than anything else. There's so many english shows that i gotta catch up with! Vampire Diaries S2? & yesterday night i started watching Pretty Lil Liars S1! I wanna watch finish all of them! Watching Gossip girl brings me back the thought of going to New York :( I wanna go NY... & i still wished i was born an caucasian... Cuz if i was, it wouldnt be a crime to be tall and 5'5(165cm) wouldnt be tall because what's tall to them would probably be about 5'8(170cm) and above. Honestly if i was in America or whichever english country, i would love to be 5'8 tall.. That'd feel good. HAHA.

Alright enough of me blabbering. I should probably find food(SHOULD I?! I NEEDA SLIM DOWN!!!) and continue watching Gossip Girl~ CYA!

Sensitive topic to ME.

2012-01-17T23:13:00.000+08:00

A pretty awesome day~

Wassupppppp~ My initial plan was to stay home today because i thought i needed alot of sleep since i was totally tired yesterday. But my momma kept pestering me to get my CNY clothes... So, i dropped Liqian a text asking if she could shop with me last night. She was fine with it so we went out today~

Had lunch at Subway and i was totally famished that time. I think i could eat a footlong at that moment. OH SHUCKS? Why didnt i bought a footlong?! LOL i'm so dumb okay. Move on, we went to Somerset and walked around, hoping that i could find a dress that suits my body and it's not in a dark colour. During CNY, we cannot wear dark coloured clothes... -_- Went Newlook, Zara, F21, Cotton On... Nothing appealed to me :( Like it wasnt appropriate for CNY. So we decided to go H&M.

I didnt expect myself to get anything from there, since it's kinda pricey eh? BUT I DID!!!! I bought 1 dress, 1 top and 1 skirt from there! Hehehe CNY clothes settled!!! :P I realised i bought 3 different sizes for all 3 of the clothings. My TOP; US 8, my skirt; US6, my dress; US4. K let me explain.

I have a freaking inproportionate body. Overall, i'm kinda overweight looking for my height. I'm 165cm anyway~ (I've probably grown like 2cm, my gut feeling tells me that... So MAYBE i'm 167cm..) I have very huge arms and boobs, so that makes my upper body look huge. When i buy tops, i gotta buy like at least 2 sizes bigger. That's another reason why why i cannot wear tanks or sleeveless tops. My waist is rather small for my size. It's like erm, 26.5-27inches? I know it's not that small to people who have 24inches waist k -_- However, my thighs are like huge huge! So when i buy shorts/skirts/pants/lower body clothing, i gotta buy bigger size too! If i get my usual size, i cant get in cuz i'm pretty sure it'd get stuck halfway since my thighs are so big. -_-. So my size varies from like US 4-10... That's a really big difference i know. LOL. So, tops can be of US 6-8, bottoms probably 6-10. I usually won't go up to like US10 unless the shorts is like FREAKING TIGHT. Overall clothings 4-6. I don't really know why overall clothings i'm of a smaller size? LOL. Irritating body. Huuuuuuuuuuuul i've revealed something very personal to myself :( HAHAHA WELL I HAVEN'T REVEALED THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE; MY WEIGHT. Nah... Over my dead body kay~

Hehe so yeah. My day went kinda well today. Reached home before 10pm~ I'm gonna print out my passport photo tomorrow, & maybe i'll go do my IC. Needa get it done ASAP!!! Cuz i heard it takes like 1 month processing time!! That's so long! I feel empty without my IC really :'( So long suckas!!!

The beginning

2012-01-16T19:22:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was actually a really boring day. Spent my wholeday home watching dramas. Hahaa, was supposed to go shop for new year clothes but daddy had a company dinner to attend and mummy had a major headache. Awww slept at 5 yesterday night cuz i was trying to finish up Master of Study :( The episodes i watched last night kept making me cry :'( So saaaad.

Alarm clock rang at 9plus today but i got up at 10. Quickly bathed and headed out. I thought i was late, but i ended up being too early. LOL. W came at almost 12.30. Had lunch at food court and walked around j8 aimlessly. There was nothing to do... W wanted to go check his account if there was money. & coincidentally, i saw Jocelyn there. HAHA~ Went to his house and slacked. Yawnz talked about everything under the sky. I was so tired i fell asleep for like what? less than 15minutes?! Oh my god. I was really very very tired. I just don't understand why i cant get to sleep. I'm just like shit man can i just go to sleep already... -_-
I was there till like 6plus cuz W had to work after that. So i left.

There are many thoughts running through my head right now. I kinda wish i had a 'sort' button somewhere so i know what's going on in my messy mind. It feels too surreal to be true. Well, i just wanna carry on watching my dramas for now! Hehehehehe ta-ta!

My dream is too far away from me.

2012-01-14T23:43:00.002+08:00

An extract from Crash Test Love - Ted Michael

WASSUPP! I went Lasalle today!!! If y'all dont know what's that, it's an Art College in Singapore. I've been actually searching up on this school alot since the beginning of Secondary 3.. I have this dream in my mind that i could actually be in an art school when i was 15. However, i dare not told anyone lol...

Reason being, I'm a passionate dancer, not a good dancer. I was afraid of how others would think of me. Based on facts, only slim and talented people gets Dance diplomas and BA Hons. I'm not born with a performing arts background. I just love to see how people move to the beat since young. I do not have any talents when it comes to dancing and that i can guarantee you. I dance like a freaking duck. -_- Of course my body size is another problem. I'm always like the plus size in a dance group. ALWAYS. I don't care.. I still like to dance...

I asked alot of questions through email in the past 2 years and it didnt built up my confidence at all.. The genres Contemporary and Ballet aren't my thing even though i love to see their presise movements. One of the requirements was to go for a one and a half hour Ballet and Contemp. lesson and then you'll go for the audition. I'm scared. I'm not confident at all.. :( I badly want to enter the school.

During the June holidays last year, my academic grades were horrible. So my mom asked what plans do i have for the future. I couldn't answer. I loved dance. If i could persue dance as a career, i definitely would. However from my parents point of view, i'm sure they'd want me to take up a diploma that is able to secure me a more stable job. I still end up telling them i would wish to take a shot for the audition. They agreed and i told them i needed some dance moves to make a DVD that i thought was needed for the audition initially. So i went dance lessons here and there, hoping to come up with a 3min long solo performance. But i failed.. Demoralised me even further... :( So i gave up that thought..

A few days back, my friend from Lasalle knew that i wanted to try out the auditions told me that there was an openhouse at Lasalle. I wanted to go :( but i couldnt think of anyone that would go with me.. Hence, gave up on that hope again. Sigh. Feeling despondent because after so long, he reminded me of how much i wanted to get into the dance diploma course.

This morning, i got a message from Andrea, asking if i wanted to go for the Laslle Openhouse. I agreed! Couldnt believed that i actually went. I don't know if it's god will for me to go for the audition but yes. I toured the school somewhat and i really loved everything. Unexpectedly, i applied for the dance course. AND I'VE GOT A REAL AUDITION. Like seriously, no joke. Oh my god. Sorry for making a big deal out of this, but just in case you dont know, IT MEANS ALOT TO ME.

THERE IS MY NAME. I'm not dreaming. It's real.

Even though chances are low, i really do hope i get accepted... I don't mind the long training hours. Even though I hate history but if it's a must to learn it for dance i don't mind.. Just accept me in :(

Reached home at about 5. Wanted to head back to TPY to meet W but.... the moment i jumped onto my bed, i didnt want to get up already.. Hahaha stupid bed. So i ended up watching TvN for the whole night till now. Stupid Kpop hunt. I think it's a stupid show and stuff. I dont think ALL the selected ones have talent. From the first episode i can already tell who would win. So what's the point? LOL.

Overall i've been quite happy today. :) Yay me! Now i shall continue watching Master of Study~ Cya around!

Time heals everything.

2012-01-14T00:01:00.002+08:00

Hello everyone who reads this blog. I haven't been here for quite awhile. Actually i've drafted like 2 posts for the past few days, but i didnt put it up because i thought it was too melodrama-ish and has got nothing much to do with my life.

I went to catch Mission Impossible yesterday with my fellow idiot Jai~ It was fantastic man! To me it was way better than Sherlock Holmes hehehe. The view from vivocity towards Sentosa was really beautiful. I like it there. It's so quiet, so peaceful. Perfect place for couples to me :) We talked quite alot and the best part was one of the topics that we talked about was the JAE registration shit. Haunting us, haunting me.

When i reached home, i showed my parents my 12 choices. They were sort of unhappy i guess. We had a little arguement here and there but obviously they won. So yeah choice listings isnt listed according to what i want. Whatever it is, i'm sure i'll end up in the course i want. K i take back my words. I don't know at all. I'll just appeal if i never get in, i guess.

I lost the game. I hate such things. Sometimes i wished 2 girls could be legally together. NOT SAYING I'M A LESBIAN, god dont get me wrong. I feel like i'm happier when i'm with my girl-friends. I can talk about anything under the sky and feel happy about it. Guys brings pain to my life. Sometimes i don't even understand why most of us have to go through this cycle. I just don't get it. The sweetest memories could be your biggest nightmare, bringing you the most pain.

Karma loves hittin on me.

2012-01-10T17:17:00.002+08:00

Heya wassup guys i'm feeling waaaay better. Thanks to a certain someone who totally brighten up my night and made me fall asleep at 5 in the morning ohmy. I've come to accept it that i'm just this way. So yeah, whatever course that i go, is whatever god wants me to do. Right now, i know even though my grades are like this, i've gained something back in return. Thanks.

Recently i've been having dreams almost every night and i'm liking it alot. It's like entering my world in the night to enjoy and then waking up to face reality when the world brightens. I don't know about you but i myself loves dreams alot. Sometimes i wished it was true but having to be able to even dream about it makes me happy and i'm contented enough.. Hahaaa. Hopefully i'll just continue dreaming.

Now i'm here to talk about how bitchy karma is. I didnt believe in karma until it started to happen to me. MANY TIMES that is. When i was young, i used to ask my mom why her boobs were so big. Like seriously straight in her face without even thinking about her feelings. Of course i knew she was hurt now that i think of it. & she told me that i'd have bigger boobs than her when i grow up. I didnt believe, but now that i'm 16, yes. It happened. Then when i walk on the streets, i would ask my mom why some people's faces are full of pimples. I find it really disgusting when i was young. AND WHAT HAPPENED? I had a face full of acne and i almost went into great depression cuz of it. & recently i've been asking myself why guys in singapore are just so short. I swore that i'd never get a boyriend nor husband that is below 175cm. I'm so gonna die for saying that sentence. Karma's so gonna hit me and give me a boyfriend/husband that is below 175cm. Sigh. Why oh why. I should learn to shut up. LOL.

I hate it when people enters my life without the intention of staying. Leaving me memories of you, and then just disappearing without a word. DONT YOU KNOW ITS HURTING?! It might not mean anything to you but it means something to me... Wanna know why i hate relationships at this age? BECAUSE IT'LL END SOMEHOW SOMEDAY IN SOMEWAY. & i hate it when people leaves me. They make me feel so important then the next day they can just forget about you entirely. That's very saddening. WAIT i'm not in a relationship, just saying cuz friends keep leaving me. & i've got guy-friends whom i was very close with but decide to just shake their ass and kick me out of their lives. Sigh meanie.

K i know this is one of the most random post but that's just cuz i'm at home and i've got nothing to blog about and i just felt like saying whatever here. So yeahhhhhh. Ta-ta~

Depression

2012-01-09T22:12:00.000+08:00

What should i do... I know i've improved like alot compared to my prelim results. I know this is already quite acceptable when i've only studied a month before O levels. But i really cannot take it. I hate how my parents always make me feel so high and mighty when i'm upset and then suddenly make me feel so low and stupid when they are angry with me. Why must you lie to me? I dont wanna live in delusion. I know i've done badly. That's a fact. Why must they pretend that they are happy with my result? Just in case you dont know, it's torturing. Who says i've got lots of choices? No i don't. They only place it there for show. When the JAE results come out, that'd be even more depressing because i'd probably end up in a course that i wont wanna be in.

When i got my result, i was initially okay with it. Then i started to think of my future. My whole mind became so dark i couldnt help but think that i've got nowhere to go. Hence, tears starting falling down so quickly i couldnt even control myself. I thought of how others would start judging my score, how pathetic i'll be in people's eyes. People came and told me that i had alot of choices. FUCK YOU NO I DON'T. Stop deluding me. It doesnt work. I know there's nowhere i can go..

God does things for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. WHAT REASON?! TELL ME NOW. Lasalle? I CANT EVEN ENTER LASALLE GOD DAMN IT. One of it's requirements is 5 passing subjects. I only have fucking 4. What do you want? I really don't know what to do. I can't see any light in the future i swear. A fucking depressing day. The moment i think about my score, tears automatically fall down. I can't be optimistic. I swear i can't. I'm not convinced that i have a place anywhere. No one is able to know how i'm feeling unless you're in my state, seriously.

I can't believe how some people are actually accepting towards their score when it's more than 20. It's just unbelievable to me. In my opinion, anything above 18 is just hopeless.

No talent. No brains. No looks. No body. What the fuck do i have?

The world doesnt accept such a person.

They annoy me.

2012-01-08T21:37:00.000+08:00

A little something that cheered me up.

Guitar wasnt that bad today. Thankfully i learned something so its ok. I went back home, and started on this new drama which was aired in 2010; 공부의 신 (God of study). Hmmm a pretty ok show. Yoo Seungho is very appealing to me. Guys like him are always appealing to me. I'm only at ep3 now because i fell asleep for 3 whole hours in the afternoon. When i woke up, it was already nearing 6 in the evening. Went out to have dinner and had a little conflict with my dad. (Always.) So now i'm like having a cold war with my father. Whatever. It happens always. So used to it.

Judgement day is tomorrow, at 2pm, in less than 17hours from now. Actually i'm not feeling that much today. I haven't been looking at twitter alot. I think that's a good thing. I shall start panicking tomorrow. Lol, but seriously i've done my best. If my score is 20. Then yeah i guess my standard is just 20points. There's nothing much i can do because retaking O levels has NEVER been an option to me.

My mood now is just eijseluvjckmlxjksce3ieljovslcrnalm. Nonsense. That penguin above made me smile a little. It's so cute...

2012-01-07T21:26:00.002+08:00

For your info, it's two more days till my doomsday.

So i visited Republic poly today. Gosh you know what? I think i'll just stick to NYP. I really cannot tolerate the travel distance. Too damn long.... By the time i reach school, i think i'll be like a zombie. Please lord please. I just need 16 points PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...... Can monday just hurry come i'm dying to know my result. T_T Its either doomsday or 3 months of holiday. Please just give me 16 points. JUST 16..... PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I think if my result's not good, i wont have any mood to go shop for CNY clothes honestly.

Father's been pms-ing for no damn reason. Lol, don't tell me he looks down on me because i'll be going to put NYP as my first choice. I think he should seriously try living my life for a day and feel what's it like before judging me. I'm sorry i'm not the kind of daughter that you can show off. I'm just born this way.

I guess i'm going to pick up my guitar and practice my freaking exam pieces before the freaking naggy guitar teacher starts speaking shit to me tomorrow. So happy i can skip next week's lesson because of Chinese New Year.

Stress level: 105%

Page 6 of 366: Sadness all over

2012-01-06T22:08:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry if da GIF is irritating you but look on da bright side. There's a cute sad lil cat there for you to look at. Seriously i wish i can pull out all my hair now. I guessed what i'm feeling now is accumulated emotions.

Yesterday night i was so determined to sleep early. I switched off my computer before 11pm. Head to bed and all those results related thoughts started running through my mind. I was on da bed for 2 whole hours thinking of nonsensical things. So yes, i didnt sleep early last night. Sigh. I'm dying silently inside i swear. Why. I'm so sad that i'm not smart enough. I won't say that if i have a chance, i'd retake o's because the end result will still be the same. I'm just not smart enough and that's a fact. I visited SP and TP today. I really wanna get into a course in SP/NP. Why are their points sooooooo low.... T_T I've been calculating so many times and its not going any lower than 14... I'm so gonna end up in the pathetic, sad, dull looking NYP... It was a rather lethargic day. Guess too many thoughts in my mind and of course i do not have enough sleep..

Went to dance today with Liqian. I kinda wished the teacher was straight :( He's so hot in a way and he dances and i think he's my type of guy la. Sadly he's gay hahaha. Nevermind still as cute. I lost my wallet. All my cards, my photos, my money ALL GONE. Sigh... I wonder if that's a sign of bad o level results. Previously i prayed. I told god to give me like some sign to make me feel better. I didnt know it'd be this... T_T Then i told liqian. & she was so optimistic. She told me that i'll gain something if i lose something. So in other words, since i lost my wallet, it means my results would be quite good. Arrrrghhhhhh i can't switch my mentality T_T sigh.

I really hope tomorrow will be a better day. This photo makes me feel so warm. Dogs are the best. I love them.

Poly Open House (1)

2012-01-05T21:52:00.000+08:00

Wassuppppppp. Stress level: 90%

Went to NYP this afternoon. Ah seriously NYP is such a boring place :( Sigh but the course i want is over thereeeeeeee. Actually i've already accepted the fact that i should be posted to this school. But when i went to Ngee Ann Poly in the late afternoon, i was like shitttttttttttttttttt. NP was such a nice school, with so many hot people. Phew it made the place like 2x hotter than it already was. Shouldnt have went there :( Make me feel so demoralised lmao. Their points are too low for me to enter any of their courses...

Will be heading to TP & SP tomorrow. Shucks i know Singapore Poly will make me go crazy because i've already seen it before and it looks so nice :( Sigh why am i soooooooooo stupid. Lolllllllllll. K so its just 4 more days till judgement day. I'm stressing the fuck out when i cannot do anything cuz our fates are already sealed. ARGGGGGGHHHHH. I DONT KNOW.

I shall sleep before 11pm tonight. Determined to sleep early. I gotta wake up early tomorrow too. Cya.

How can i love when i'm afraid?

2012-01-04T19:38:00.002+08:00

Hello. I stayed home the whole day today. As usual i woke up at like 1pm or so. Spent my afternoon watching Adam Couple. Then Jai suddenly said she wanted to go out and have lunch. Talk halfway NO REPLY. I was like waiting waiting waiting and waiting then like 1h or so later she told me she'll stay home. Then i asked her out for dinner. NO REPLY FOR SOOOO LONG. I was getting too sleepy so i didnt give a shit anymore and decided to go to lalaland.

So O level results date is confirmed. 9 January at 2pm. Pleaase? Just give me 16 points. I've been seriously thinking too much about Poly. I see how my other poly friends are enjoying lives so much. I wanna be like them T_T & not be a loner. I'm so afraid i'll be a loner... Then i'll probably start getting depressed and eat alot alot again and oh my god fml. I'll be heading to TP and NYP tomorrow, my first two choices of schools. Then to NP and SP (not like i'm gonna get into these 2 schools) on Fri, and Republic on Sat.

I just hope i'm not labelled as a loser in poly. Just please.

A typical day at the beach

2012-01-03T23:28:00.002+08:00

So i slept at 7am in da morning today. I really don't know what i've been doing da whole night. Seems like i've been sleeping later and later as each day passes. Sigh the thought of my results still can't get out of my head.

Met Jai at 2PM today. Waited for Liqian for 30minutes. It was kinda taking too long so i called her. AND SHE WAS AT HOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. K so she told me she slept at 7 too and couldnt wake up on time. Thus me and jai decided to have lunch. Mac was totally packed with students so we went up to food court. Ate and talked at the same time.

We reached da beach at about 5? I slept throughout the whole bus journey... It was too long and i think i would totally vomit if i didnt sleep. Cycled, took photos and slept on da soft sand. It was awwwwwwwweeeeeeeeesooommeeeeee~ 3 polaroids came out bad :( because i didnt know which setting to use.. Sigh nevermind at least another 3 came out well. Hehehe

Had pastamania for dinner with Liqian and then went back home.

ITS JUST ANOTHER WEEK MORE TILL THE RELEASE OF MY O LEVEL RESULTS!!!!!!!!!! I'm going crazy, i really am. Please please please. Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

It's 2012. (Wordy post alert!)

2012-01-02T23:12:00.002+08:00

Hello, so i'm back from Genting. Didnt really got onto much rides because it was so boring. Instead played pool and bowling. Did some shopping there too. Got a new converse shoes~ Heh daddy won money ah that's why so nice. :P But i didnt get the red coloured shoe that i wanted T_T They didnt have my size... I'm a converse male size 5, woman size 7. Usually, if they dont have your exact size, they'd would suggest you to take like size 5.5 or something right? They didnt have it there T_T and the person gave me size 6 and i was like wth, totally doesnt fit and its so loose. So i didnt buy it. Arrrrrghhhhh not fated with red coloured shoes. It was really very nice sobs.

OH ME, BROTHER AND FATHER WENT ON THE SKY VENTURE THING. It's damn..... scary to me :( Sigh i couldnt breathe really well in there. But it's an experience la, so its ok~

On da second night, i had terrible stomachache and couldnt sleep for almost the whole night. There was no wifi there so i couldnt use the internet. Looked through all my photos and all my old messages.. Felt kinda sad and terrible. I feel like i kinda verbally hurt some people in the past, and i didnt even know. AND I REALISED, SINCE LAST TIME, people like telling me that i ACT BLUR. What the fucking hell. Don't know means dont know la. What act blur, damn annoying sia. Just get straight to da damn point and dont say 'act blur' can. Like seriously? People like to beat around the bush and im the kind who doesnt understand all these weird signs etc and you expect me to read minds. Wa seriously damn 'smart' ah.

K that was kinda unneccessary. Hahahaha okay so yes i feel so bad for alot of people and at that moment, i felt like texting those people that i'm really sorry. Hmmmm well since its New Year's Day! Of course i didnt, overseas texting is way expensive.

When i reached back home that night, all i could think of was Poly courses. It strucked my mind because Liqian mentioned me on twitter about going to Poly Open houses. Man, i'm really very scared.... I know 16 points is very easy for most of you people to get but for me it isnt... My course that i want needs 16 points.. & IF this year's JAE COP goes down, i'm gonna die so bad... Sigh stupid people like me hardly have any choices lol.

Confession time: Honestly, in my whole secondary school life, i've never gotten below 20 points. Ha ha ha i've finally said it out. In Sec 3, i was SOOOOO close to dropping to NA(Normal Acad). Ha ha ha god decided to give me another chance. Didnt really cherish it because in Sec 4, i didnt study all the way till September. Everytime when those ladies say how smooth their sec 3 life was, i'll just be there, thinking how lucky i was to be able to stay in Express. They also love saying how awesome their Sec2 life was. Yeah and there i was, struggling with loneliness, bad results and bad subject combinations. Everytime when i said i couldnt make it, no one believed me and all they could say was "you're not very bad what". Yeah right. Now you know. There was once that i failed ALL my subjects except for Mathematics ok. That's the reason why i almost dropped into NA. How is that 'not very bad'? No one knew huh. Why do you think i always say i'm not good in anything? I know myself better than anyone. My chinese O level result, if it wasnt for the moderation, i wouldnt have gotten a B3. I'm not kidding. I wasnt really happy till i could cry because honestly, i dont think i deserve a B3.. That's like one of the biggest miracle that has ever happened to me. I've never gotten a B for Chinese in my whole sec sch life. I'm too pathetic i'm sorry. My report card is one of the ugliest things on earth i don't even wanna look at it.

Yes so i did a confession since its da beginning of the year. Now for the New Year Resolution part!

1. TO STOP BITING MY NAILS
2. TO SLIM DOWN AT LEAST 5KG (I THINK EVERY YEAR I ALSO HAVE THIS RESOLUTION HAHAHA)
3. TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THE 6 PABOS
4. TO MAKE SURE THAT I NEVER MIX WITH THE BAD FRIENDS (i'm praying so hard)
5. ................................ Too many resolutions no good so i'll stop here :)

OKIE I'm done ho-ho-ho. Chinese New Year is approaching!!!!! & That means i'll have MONEY!!!! & also to face those annoying relatives that would ask about my O level results.... Havent bought any clothes! Needa shop!!! Wonder what i'll wear this year... Hmmm~ Well i shall decide SOOOON. For now, TA-TA!!!

The year's ending

2011-12-29T23:11:00.001+08:00

It's been so long since i saw them, especially Ridley!!!~

Heyo babies! So i spent my last day of 2011 in Singapore with 2 of my Yuying Sec sch classmates; Qianyu and Ridley!!! Hohoho it's been so long~ Went to catch 'Sherlock Holmes'. It was actually not that bad.

You know, initially, plans was kinda cancelled because i woke up with my mom's text telling me to come home early. & i was like 'WUUUUT'. I was supposed to meet them at like 5pm. & my mom told me to come back early. -_- So i told them to postpone. But Ridley suggested to meet earlier and hohoho yay i still got to meet them! I slept at 6am this morning, and woke up at almost 2pm. Screwed bodyclock, how am i gonna turn my bodyclock back to normal...

So we walked around Plaza sing and talked abit but qianyu was really very tired. She kept blanking out and she didnt even know ohmy... Hahahaaa, had dinner together and went back to Kovan with Qianyu cuz she wanted to get some stuff for Thanks giving. Reached home at about 9 and i know my mom's kinda mad -_- Ah i dont care.

Meeting up with Ridley and Qianyu made me thought of Ben yeo. God..... I think i havent seen him in like almost 3 years no joke T_T I dont care la. You got girlfriend or not still need to find a day and go out with me la. Hehhhhhh :P

I'll be spending da New year's weekend in Genting. Sigh.... It'd be way better if some of my friends went along with me.... AAARGGGGGGHH THIS IS ONE OF MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION: TO BE ABLE TO GET OUT OF SINGAPORE WITH MY FRIENDS SUCCESSFULLY.

Smile

2011-12-28T23:12:00.000+08:00

Wassssupppppp!~~~ You know what? I had a terrible nightmare. I think i was acting in my dream, was i?! Ohmygod, because i dreamt that my father was trying to literally murder me. My mom had to like hide me under the river bridge thingy so that my dad would not find me. BUT HE STILL DID. & he kinda threaten my mom that if she still wanna protect me, he'll kill both of us. & so i told my 'dad' that he just kill me if he wants LMFAO. THE PARENTS IN MY NIGHTMARE ISNT MY PARENTS AT ALL. Who the hell are they. I dont wanna know how i die so i just forced myself to wake up. It was freaking 9plus in the morning. & i slept like 3plus that night. God damn tired. I tweeted about it cuz i thought i wouldnt fall back to sleep, BUT I DID. & i woke up at 1pm. I thought i had an inception because i thought i didnt wake up and tweet. I was supposed to meet Geraldine at 2pm and i went like 'SHITTTTT' when i saw her message on my phone.

Quickly bathed and everything and went to meet her. Went to Bugis to shop. Initially we thought we wouldnt be able to buy anything because there wasnt much to see on level 2 and 3. Then a bag shop caught Geraldine's attention. 2 for $25. What a buy!!! Cuz the bags there were really cutesy~ So we bought! Then we walked past an iphone cover shop and they were selling some of the iphone covers at 2 for $10! I bought! :D Then we continued walking and bought platform sandals/shoes(IDK) at $10! Ohmy~ I felt happy man! Since we were like satisfied, we decided to head back to AMK to play pool.

The last time i played pool was at Ridley's house.... That was like how long ago.... & i didnt even really played... Just anyhow shoot and the balls just keep jumping around tsktsktsk. We played for like 1hour plus. K i improved even though i'm still as shitty. Ate dinner at Mos Burger~ Deliciouuuuuuus~ Supposed to wait for Sasha but she took too long and Geraldine was getting hungry! So we ended up eating first. When we were done she still havent arrived. So this is how this photo came about.. LOL

So then Sasha finally came and we kinda talked about. Yes i couldnt catch up with whatever they were talkin about seriously.. Kkk it was like 8plus already so we decided to go home. Hehhhh~ Reached home at aboout 9plus.

So today was actually kinda fruitful. Happy girl. Hopefully i won't get bored tomorrow. GOODBYE~

Deep in my heart,

2011-12-27T16:44:00.000+08:00

Hiiiiiii. So i went out with Fion yesterday(26th Dec). Hmmmm bought a pullover from f21 and 2 crops from Far east. There was nothing to do at town really.. I think it has become one of da most boring places because i've been there too many times... Plus Singapore's so small, singaporeans got no choice but to go there sometimes -_- Didnt catch up that much because i was probably too tired to even talk. That night(25th Dec) i slept at like what?! 5plus in da morning???? God something's so screwed in my body clock man, no joke. She's so sweet though, she made a christmas card for me ToT

I don't think i've done a post on my Christmas day. Cuz it wasn't Christmas to me at all, seriously. 1st i've got no presents. Why did my parents have to keep asking how many presents i received?! Make me feel so despondent.. I've only got Jai's card to stare at that day, seriously. 2ndly, i spent half of my christmas day sleeping, the other quarter half watching Khuntoria, and the other quarter half eating chicken rice @ Thomson. 3rdly, someone attempted to make me jealous by telling me what freaking 18 year old girl at his church has been like flirting with him. Oh my god that trick is so old school. Plus! why would i get jealous???? Can't find any reason to be really. Lastly! I slept at 5am. I don't know if i'm too innocent or what. When i hear 'news' or 'gossip' that is supposedly overly shocking, i get like long shock periods but people dont, and that makes me wonder which generation am i stuck at man... -_- Well, texted Geraldine that whole night. Hence i slept at 5am. Our longest chat sessions. Felt good. It's been so long since i've talked to anyone like this honestly.

Well well well. I only know Christmas this year is just another dayto me and i've recieve 2 sincere presents. 1 from Jai and the other from Fion ha.... I feel really very bad for not doing anything but Fion, if you're reading this post, there's a dedication below.

Hey Fion,

Merry Christmas!!~ I know we hardly ever meet because of our schedules and stuff like that. But seriously you're the only friend that i've known for more than a decade and is still closely contacted with. All those childhood memories spent at your house... Everytime after childcare when my parents aren't free to fetch me home, i'll always be left at your house and we'll play till the sky becomes dark. (Wow thinking back we really have alot of energy huh HAHA.) I always had to cry when i leave your house. Always had to compare our hair length after swimming lessons. Always thinking that i should eat less when i'm at your house since you ate so little. Always trying to become you because my mom always compared you and me and you were always better than me. (you still are better than me LOL!!!) Even though we dont go to the same Primary School, don't mix with the same people, don't go to the same Secondary School, i'm really thankful to know you my entire life. Our memory timeline is like soooooooo long. & i think in this generation, it's one of the rarest thing man. I still have photos of you at my 3 or 4 years old 'birthday party'. Aww so cute HAHA. Hopefully we'll still stay in contact till we have our own families ok. MAKE SURE TO INVITE ME TO YOUR WEDDING OR ELSEEEE!!!!!~~~

Love,
Me :)

Wordy

2011-12-25T22:01:00.001+08:00

Bored on Christmas? Exciting much?

My looks, is just.......... -_- incomparable to ANYONE.. Like wth. I've been thinking about the comment one of the aunty made last night during the gathering i had at my home. "So pretty so pretty already. Getting so pretty." Oh my god. What the hell is their definition of pretty????? I seriously don't get it. I take many selcas. I stare at them and i'm like, "...... how the hell is this pretty." Sigh. I have to like seriously look at the photos for a long time and then convince myself that they are ok-looking and then post it up on da internet.

& then i think about the video made by Timothy. Click here to watch it. He says we girls always wanna test guys, wanna play games, always say things that we actually dont mean. WELL. Do you know why we girls always wanna test? Cuz you guys usually dont make the girls feel secure with what you guys say with your mouths. Yes you guys can say we think too much but i think the girls think alot because we care right? Ok lol seriously the thought process is just a girl thang. We can't change and i don't know what's 'think alot'. WE JUST THINK.

K my day was pretty much just boring la. When i woke up it was already nearing 1pm. Replayed Nu ABO da whole day. Then in a blink of an eye, it was already 5pm in da evening. Went out to have dinner at Thomson and headed back home. WOW it was almost 8pm when we reached home. God and now it's 10pm. Seriously time's passin too fast and it's freakin da shit outta me. The world's probably really ending. Ha so in the end, i've got no prince charming. Hahahaha. K that doesnt make any sense.

I'm gonna meet my long-time-no-see childhood friend, Fion tomorrow~ Hohoho it's been so long.. Like probably 11months? I really have no idea what we're gonna do tomorrow but yeah...

Goodbye

Merry Christmas~

2011-12-25T00:30:00.002+08:00

메리크리스마스 여러분~~~

Well.............................. I don't have any words actually. Christmas has always been da same since i was born.. I think the only time i'm gonna say 'Christmas is memorable' will be the day when my future boyfriend/husband gives me a surprise on Christmas Day. lol or maybe do something different on christmas. So yeah i wish all da couples and families and friends out there to have Joyful Merry Christmas :)

I'm not ready.

2011-12-23T22:30:00.001+08:00

So today was a day filled with bodyaches, wet butts, blistered toes... LOL Went to iceskate with da ladies just now. Actually i could ice skate better than last year. & i know why i cant iceskate... I dont know why but only one of my leg seems to be moving. LOL the other leg will just follow thru and i look like i was boarding. Hm k well that went not that bad i guess. Fell down a couple of times not cuz i lost balance but cuz my legs were too tired and lazy to move. PLUS, the floor was cold.. Felt so good to fall actually... & I ate 2 meals today!!! (gosh fats...) Porridge for brunch and KFC for dinner. Totally..... fat.

You know what. I can never look pretty. My face, is not symmetrical at all. My eyes is one big, one small lol. & of course my eyes initially ARE small. -_- So disgusting... I'm so disgusted by myself really. Such imperfections.... In the Singapore-book-of-pretty-girls, i cant even be at the last place man. So out of place. I cant do makeup. I cant wear dresses and skirts everyday. I cant act weak like how all guys like girls to be. I dont have soft flawless skin. I cant act girly and just dont behave like a girl at all omg. It's like a from young thing you know.

Sigh sorry i dont know why i'm in this state again. Shall stop here.

My heart can't decide.

2011-12-23T00:08:00.001+08:00

Whats up yo~ I'm currently lying on my comfy bed and chatting with darling.

So i was abruptly awakened by my maid this very supposedly beautiful morning, telling me that my mom changed my doctor appointment to morning. She told me that my appointment was supposed to be on da 21st instead of 22nd. Bla bla bla you know.... Whoever who wakes me up early in da morning and rushes me to do something.... I get real mad.

We headed to Tan Tock Seng Hosp, and waited there for more than an hour. When it was finally my turn, the doctor asked if i had this that this that this that bla bla bla. I just told her i had no appetite to eat. C'mon no joke. Ever since taking the medication, i've been eating major irregular meals. I can skip breakfast, skip lunch, have some tidbits for tea break, and skip dinner. Or just have like one meal a day. For ME, its waaaaay abnormal. No matter how much i try to skip meal, it doesnt work. Like i can just skip breakfast, but lunch and dinner? No waaaaaay....

Hence the doctor told me that i should take a blood test to make sure that its not because of the medicine that i'm taking thats giving me a bad appetite. I swear i squeaked in my heart..... LOL bloood.... test....???? Veeeeeiinnnnns..... So scary to even think of it hahaha. But well, it wasnt pain at ALLLLL. I was just shocked by the amount of blood that was taken out of me and i didnt even feel anything.

Took my medicine and went home. I was so sad cuz i thought it'd be another stay home day... Supposed to meet Geraldine.. But i couldnt think of where to go and decided not to go out cuz it was almost 2 and she told me she had to be home by 5.30 or something like that. So no point. Then Jai replied me after so long. Ahhhhh after all those talks i just decided to go East coast park and cycle my sadness away.

I was praying that it wouldnt rain. Yes it didnt. The wind there felt so good. Totally loved it. Hafway through, i accidentally hit Jai's bike and fell. Wow i thought it was nothing. Like seriously who never falls la??? -_- The moment i stood up, i couldnt see anything man. Felt like i had totally no blood circulating around me at all omg. Almost fainted.. Then suddenly I COULDNT HEAR JAI PROPERLY WHAT THE HELL. Don't know what's wrong with me. But then i remembered i didnt had a proper meal -_-.... No wonder... So we went to a corner to rest. We disgustingly stepped through the wet, long, grass and i'm like omg. Our shoes were all wet, muddy, smelly, ewww!!! So we went to the sea and washed it. While waiting for it to dry, we played with the cam and talked and yay i felt happy.

Actually, something went into my eye... That's why that expression. But didnt turn out that bad LOL

Went to Parkway Parade and had our dinner at like 7.45 or something? Hehe pastamania~~~! Delicious~ Wished i had another plate though~ Went home after that.

To sum my day up, it wasnt so bad afterall..~ I'm sure tomorrow will be better! Hehe ok hopefully~

Invisible

2011-12-21T19:39:00.001+08:00

Hey there.... Like i said in da previous post... Another day at home.. Well, but i did went Kovan to get 2 sushis and some 현중 photos to make myself feel happier..~ Heh i think he's really beautiful.

It's almost 8bucks... Expensive but, it's his face :')

I kinda 'toured' the whole estate that i live in just cuz i wanted to walk instead of staying home and stare at my computer haha. So i also finished the whole 용서 WGM~ Awwww separation is da hardest thing for me.. If i was Seohyun, i would've cried on da spot man.

After that, i decided to take afew selcas to post on facebook cuz..... sigh there's really nothing to do at home :(

Hmmm yeah so christmas is coming... Actually i've got a present for someone. Well, got it like months back actually. Don't think i'll give that person anyway. Haha i'm pretty sure i wont recieve any present too. & i think it's kinda bias to only get 1 present -_- So, i'll just keep it for myself. What am i man!? Christmas is a season of giving shanette.... I'm sorry i dont want to be bias T_T Anyway it's typical of me... Hahaha i always get present but i never give it. Why am i so weird eh? Hah.

Mind games aren't for me.

2011-12-20T21:52:00.000+08:00

Snow Mountains~

Heya wassup babies~ Ha actually i dont feel good the entire day ha. Why would someone start a conversation with you, and then decide to suddenly stop talking? That's so odd. &, why dont that person start a conversation with a simple 'hello' or 'how are you'? Instead he starts it like this: 'eh -whatever he wants to ask-' Ooooook, i shall just follow suit. But suddenly not replying? Not acceptable.

When someone says that person has been yearning to see you, doesnt it mean that that person actually has some plans in da head already? WAIT how would i even know that you want to see me when you stay mute?! You think ima mind reader?! Gosh.. How can you just say something like, 'how can you not know.' or 'still acting blur?' WUT!!! I dont read minds, i dont play mind games, i dont read between sentences. & thats the reason why i fail Source-Based questions for humanities. SO REMEMBER THAT. (well. its not like you know this blog ha-ha-ha.) When i say i dont get it, i really mean it -_-.

K enough of the rant. So basically the same people came to my house today. Well.... Liqian was reading her 'book' da whole day, Jai and Yvonne was spazzing so damn much over many things, while i just stare at my computer screen, waiting for some irritating person to talk but simply doesnt for god knows what reason. God damn boring day.... Can't believe it'd be the same for tomorrow. Well, i was INITIALLY going out. All that freaking person's fault. Damnit so pissed. Ah-ni-thingggggggg. Stay home and home it shall be.

When you're with the right people, anything's fun~

2011-12-19T21:27:00.000+08:00

Wow it look as if there's a snow-storm~ :P

HEY YO WASSUP!!! It was a pretty pleasant day today~ Went to k-box with Liqian, Jai and Yvonne~ Hahahaha didnt expect it to be so fun~ Well k i was obviously screaming my lungs out. For the first time in my life, i didnt give a shit about how i sounded. I probably sound like i was whining or contributing to noise pollution. Hahaha seriously~ Another thing that made me burst into laughter is that both me and Jai wore the same hoodie!!!! Hahaha actually i told her beforehand what i'd wear the next day. However... I didnt expect the weather to be so cold... So i decided to switch to a hoodie. Oh my totally hilarious~ We even sat the same bus towards AMK~~~ Wow we really got some fate yo~

Awesome day with awesome people equals awesome pictures~

We then headed to Sengkang cuz Jai wanted to go to the library to borrow some books~ Heh i had nothing to do... So i ended up taking a photo with these 2 cute 'lil' fake rabbits. Hahahah credits to Yvonne.

Gosh its sooooo not little~ It's taller than me!!! :P

Headed to Rivervale mall after that. Went Daiso and became crazy ladies~ Hehehehe i love Daiso!! Reached home at 9~ I survived my phone with only 1%!!!~ What a miracle... Yay i really had a fun day. Thanks darlings, really big hug to all of ya!!! ♥

也许在另一个平行时空里，我们是在一起的

2011-12-18T22:14:00.002+08:00

Looking at me, you can obviously tell how strong the wind was!

Hi guyz. I feel so automatic nowadays, like someone set some robotic stuff in me. My mood swings to easily at night. I can be so happy, so cheerful in the afternoon. Once the night arrives, i become so lonely, so depressed, so sad.

Why isnt the person i wish was here, here?

So I met up with Jai again today. Our point was to search for jobs. I guess we were too timid to ask or our expectations were too high. K i mean IIIII am too timid. Mission failed. So we headed to my house and went online to search for jobs. TO. NO. AVAIL.... until i saw this f&b job that was at changi. However, the information they provided was too little... Decided to call em up. Initially had a interview tomorrow. But Jai checked up the restaurant and realised it was halal so obviously i wouldnt want the job. So till now, i'm still jobless. Ha-ha-ha. I think i should just stay jobless la. I mean what am i expecting? Office job? Money drop from the sky? I dont know.

I feel so distant from my parents these days. I hate myself for being so bad at showing emotions. Not only to my family; to my friends, the people i love too. Why? I don't know.......!!!! T_T

ShanDanah Day

2011-12-17T22:28:00.000+08:00

HELLO~ So spent my day with Jai today. Actually it was a really typical day la. But spending a typical day alone and with companion is 2 different things kay~ :P We ate, walked around Nex, and headed back home. Was drenched because of the rain. Before she left, we kinda became crazy and took afew photo shots~

THE 'GLAM' ONES

AND HERE COMES THE UNGLAM ONES~

Heheheh, i'm still thinking if i should get that expensive-so-not-worth bf blouse from Cotton On. I've really been looking for something so thin and comfy and nice looking for so long T_T but it's 30bucks... Gosh... & i wanna work there!!! Cuz i've been influenced by Geraldine~ I realised there's an outlet at Nex just today. K actually, i meant i just remembered... My memory's been failing me recently really.. Wow if i work there, i can just wake up like 30minutes before work time~ HAHA coolshit! :p i'm gonna go ask! hohoho~

Living in Self-Denial

2011-12-16T22:49:00.000+08:00

Wassup everyone. I've gotten my 2days pay. 110bucks. Ha actually i kinda think i should've stayed till today but, the thought of that stinky place makes me really scared, no joke.

So i woke up at 1pm today. Watched Flower Boy Ramyun Shop. Sometimes i really wished i could be a lead role of some love drama. I've been thinking too much about love today, hahaha. I think many of my friends claim that they're in love, but do they really know what's love? Lol, I really dont know what's love. How does it feel like to be in love? How does it feel like to be loved? After a day's thought, I think i'm a coward when it comes to such things. I don't want to give it a try, don't want to face up to my feelings, don't want to accept anyone's feeling. Living in self-denial. Thinking that i'll never fall in love, no one will ever like me, i'll die an old virgin.

Someone told me, when you like someone, you'll constantly think about that certain someone. Well....... I think about many people in a day. When i chat up with someone for awhile, i'll think of that someone. Does THAT mean i'm in love? I don't think so yeah? I'm really curious to how real love is.

Someone's been missing in action today. Don't know what happen to that person. Feels kinda funny because of your absence.

Push and Pull

2011-12-15T22:28:00.001+08:00

I've decided to do this. Since i'm not gonna blog about Japan, i'll post 1 picture on every post till i run out of photos to post. Well, hehehehe i'm not gonna post the full album though~

So today was the 2nd and last day of work HAHAHA. K i seriously couldnt take it anymore. But i gotta say today was way more productive than yesterday. & there were entertaining customers too. I served mostly foreigners man~ Koreans, Japanese, Caucasians~ hehehe i love foreigners. -spams hearts- Talked to D the whole day again. At first it was hilarious. I shall reveal part of our conversation.

D: It's my turn to feel bored :(

Me: I'm bored too la, i'm about to die plz.

D: omg? IF you die then who's gonna talk to me? :(

Me: if i die you also die la. (there was this fb status thing, asking me to randomly press a letter and a name would come up. his name came out for "The person that'd die with you")

D: Oh ya hor :O Forgot about that. Then do we stay in the same house when we die? Cause I don't think we got $$ to buy house individually eh :p

Me: hahaha!!! seriously D seriously. you sleep outside I sleep inside ^^
D: WTF! YOU THINK I YOUR DOG AH?! WAIT I THINK I WORSE THAN THAT! WEI!
Me: WHAT HAHAHA.
D: your dog still get to sleep with you right? :( Walau. at least let me sleep inside the house la :(

Me: haahhaah you wanna be my dog right HAHAHA. ya la ya la

D: WEISH! NO! I WANT TO BE YOUR D. Okay.. sounds weird

I TOTALLY BURST OUT LAUGHING AT MY PHONE. What a freaking joke. This freaking idiot love beating around the bush LOL. There was alot more, talked alot but he ended up being a childish bish so i decided to stop talking to him. If we ever have h2h anytime soon i'll definitely tell him all his irritating childishness that i hate about him hmph idc. Kinda talked to Jaijai too -spams even more hearts- I love how she always remind me to eat medicine really. The thoughtfulness, the concern she give. Awwwww. I told her that if she was a guy i'd totally woo her. Girl woo guy~ Awesome right~

Yeah so thats all for today. What else? Nothing..... I'm just gonna stay home tomorrow. Wanted to go out with somebody but decided not to.. Heh cuz there's nothing to do in malls these days please.

1st day at work

2011-12-14T22:55:00.001+08:00

Initially, i didnt want to post because i still owe this blog a "Japan" post. But damn japan wasnt even as fun as i thought it would be. Like i said, it was a disappointment. & that post kept bugging me thats why i couldnt blog at all. Now i dont give a damn because i needa post about my bloody first day at work.

Let me make things clearly.

1. I DID NOT WANT TO BE A FUCKING SALES PROMOTER.
2. I DID NOT CHOOSE TO BE A FUCKING SALES PROMOTOER.

So it was just a particular day, i decided to get a job but i didnt know where to start. So i texted my mom. I asked her what kind of jobs should i get. She said preferbly an office job. Well trudat what else can i do besides sitting infront of a computer huh? I thought she had connections. But noooo. I forgot she isnt very sociable. So she asked my dad. My dad told me to work at uncle david's place (i seriously forgot what his job was.) Obviously i was elated right? Because there were 2 vacancies. One for me and the other, for liqian. So i didnt know what i was working as. Bla bla bla 2-3weeks of dragging, i finally got the job. A fucking sales promoter. What the fuck? Tell me not to be pissed and i'll just probably take a fruit knife and attempt to slit your mouth.

NEVERMIND.

Sales promoter then be it. Uncle david said Dino was working. Dino is uncle david's son, a guy 2 years younger than me. So i said yes. At least someone ~around~ my age is there right? NO he wasnt there. He told me to choose between 2 outlets; Ponggol and Clementi. I live at Serangoon. So a lady with the right mind would obviously choose Ponggol. I did, but he still told me to go Clementi, because he said his wife and son would be there. When i went there today, THERE WAS NO FAMILIAR FACES OK. Sigh i was like, why was i looking forward to it....

Standing for barely 2hours, my leg was aching. I couldnt say a thing. I hate it when people say i "qian jing xiao jie". It just means you're a bimbo in a better chinese term. I was of no help. I didnt know anything in the show. I dont even know if they sold 12 year olds briefs -.- wtf. What could i do there?!?!?!?! STAND. STAND. AND STAND EVEN MORE. and hear those old bitches complaining their lives away.

Ok my point of this post: I DONT WANNA DO NOTHING. I DONT WANNA STAND.

I was so bored to a point where i nearly flipped the whole tray of clothes so that i could fold them to kill time. Walao fuck la. I dont mind sweeping and mopping the floors, buying lunch and dinner back for the people, sticking pricetags on the items etc. Please just let me do something la. I just cant stand around and do fucking nothing la.

Even when i stay at home i do something la please. What's the fucking difference between jail and that irritating place man?! OH WAIT THERE'S A DIFF. PRISONERS GET TO SIT DOWN. I dont fucking get to sit down. There's no customers and i still have to stand. What the fuck. Am i supposed to entertain the ghosts floating around the atmosphere?! There is not even ONEEEEEE bloody chair in that whole bloody shop. Daebak.

K fine i'm done ranting.

Now for the good part.

There were alot of Caucasians and Koreans there. Awwww what a beautiful sight, heh. & Jai came to see me.... So touched really T_T C'mon she lived at freaking ANG MO KIO and she came all the way down JUST TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME. How sweet is that?! Oh my~~~~ Undescribable feeling man i feel so good HAHAHAH. AND Delin and his weird facebook status chat. Well it was entertaining though. Without that i'd really be bored to death.... TT_TT...

RANDOM

2011-12-08T20:55:00.000+08:00

Hello people. I'm back from my Hokkaido trip. It wasnt very interesting really. Kinda disappointing i can say. I'll post a more picture-ish and detailed post when i can find my stupid USB cable again LOL. For now, i just wanna update this blog. So, i took this from Geraldine's blog. She's been doing this thingy. I'll change it though. Instead of doing 1 for each day. I'LL DO EVERYTHING! I know no one reads my blog. Or should i say, really lil readers. So~ Since i'm bored....... why not right? Haha.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Day one: 10 things you want to say to 10 different people right now.
1. Jazreel: I miss you T_T
2. Fion lee: When will we meet up again, dear childhood friend???
3. Jonas: cuz my japan trip had someone who was so similar to you, i kept thinking bout you! hahaha.
4. Brice: Can't wait for our dance battle yo.
5. Liqian: We need dance marathons!!
6. Charlotte: No more genting trip hor? T_T
7. Jai: Why you no miss me!! T_T
8. Dennis yeo: I think you came into my dreams again!!!! Ohmy
9. Clarissa: I wished we could go dance together every week like how we used to and laugh our lungs out at the stupidest things T_T...
10. Delin: Must know how to differentiate reality and dreams ah, mr idiot~

Day 2: 9 things about yourself.
1. My self esteem is very low.
2. Its very hard for me to entirely trust someone.
3. I may be very concerned but i will never show it out.
4. I may be very hurt at some words others say to me but you'll never know.
5. I get angry very easily.
6. I love bear hugs.
7. I hate noise.
8. I hate temperatures about 26degrees celsius.
9. I suck at studying.

Day 3: 8 ways to win your heart.
1. Surprise me once in awhile.
2. Prepare outings without me saying anything.
3. Able to express emotions better in real life than texting.
4. Able to protect me.
5. Wont get angry with me over minor matters.
6. Treats family well.
7. Able to prove that he loves me for who i am.
8. Able to proudly say that i'm his girlfriend infront of his friends.

Day 4: 7 things that crossed your mind alot.
1. Why am i getting fatter and rounder everyday...
2. Why isnt my face flawless...
3. Why nobody likes to talk to me..
4. Why dont i have any close cousins...
5. Why dont i have just 1 friend that i can tell ANYTHING to...
6. Why dont i have any talent...
7. Why is this world so fugly...

Day 5: 6 things you wished you'd never done.
1. had my 1st "boyfriend".
2. mixed with some of the "friends" i had in Sec1.
3. say hurtful things without thinking.
4. try to change someone knowing that person can never be changed.
5. believed in happy endings
6. take some people's words into heart.

Day 6: 5 people who mean alot (in no order or whatsoever)
1. Clique
2. Jonas
3. Jazreel
4. Clarissa
5. Family

Day 7: 4 turn offs.
1. People who smoke
2. Ugly tattoos
3. Act gangster
4. No fashion taste

Day 8: 3 turn ons.
1. Beautiful smile
2. 180cm >
3. Decent looking

Day 9: 2 smileys that describe your life right now.
1. ಥ_ಥ
2. q(;^;)p

Day 10: 1 confession.
1. I liked someone whom i've never communicated before for 1yr9months.

Annoyance

2011-11-28T23:24:00.001+08:00

So the 6 of us went back to Tan Tock Seng Hospital, Tuberculosis Center to check if we were infected with any TB germs. Ok, so i was the only one with a 1cm bump and had to do X-ray to check more thoroughly. Total waste of time i swear. Cuz when the results were out, i had no germs in me but because my results was positive, i was given an option to whether i should be on a 9-mth medication. Doctor said if i dont take, i have a 40% chance of getting infected when i get older. WTF so do i look like i have any choice? Joke.

Had our lunch at 2pm, KFC. Oh god fattening to the max. I only ate pop corn chicken snackers. So full so bloated i could hardly move around. Headed to Orchard after that. Went to Far East Plaza, walked afew rounds and we were outta there in no time. Gosh Far East Plaza is one of the most boring places in Orchard. I dont like that place. Went to H&M. The clothes there werent that much of my style except for some of the winter clothings there. Really wished Singapore had some cold seasons... I'm not even asking for Winter season man. I just want temperatures like 17-20degrees. I'll be happy enough in all honesty.

Too bored in Orchard, and we were all tired from walking and standing the whole day, hence we decided to head home. Yup so that was pretty much my day.

Personal: I put others before me. I dont see what's so wrong about that. I dont think i should get lectured because of this. Putting myself first equals to thinking that everyone lives to accommodate you. Excuse me? I know sometimes even though I think about them first, they dont do the same. Seriously i wont lose an arm for doing such things. They dont have to know what I do. I dont care if they are not appreciative or whatever fuck. Even if i care, i cant fucking change myself. It's just me. I just wanna think about them first before me. Either accept me or fuck off. I get angry easily. I don't know how to show my love for people. I dont know how to show the loving side of me. I JUST DONT KNOW. So seriously, whats wrong. JUST LIVE LA. Oh my god man. If anyone of you thinks i'm a real meanie, a person who has a freaking angsty personality and is not a nice person, then just go away la. K. I'm done.

Boom boom pow~

2011-11-26T12:51:00.000+08:00

Woohoo~ Yesterday morning i really felt like a zombie. It must be because i havent woke up early in such a long time. I set 3 alarm clocks. 1st one starts ringing at 8.15am and the another 2 will start ringing after 15min. I think alarm clocks no longer work for me. Yes i hear them, but i wont wake up!!! :@ So yeah, Winnie came into my room and woke me up at 9am and I HAD TO WAKE UP if not i'll be late. I was meeting at girls at 10am at AMK. I bathed, wore clothes, brushed teeth, walked out of the house with one eyes closed, hence looking like a zombie.

However i was still 10min late!!! Dang!! That's all because of bus 136. Really abhor that sickening bus. It takes its own sweet time ugh!! Ok we were going to do some tuberculosis check up at Tan Tock Seng hospital yesterday. My left forearm was injected. After injection, i took the train back to amk to look for the dear Geraldine. She just woke up when i called her! So i just walked to the busstop near her house. LOL she was so shocked that i walked there.

We planned to watch "一泡而红” (Already Famous) at AMK. We saw Megan Kimiko Eugene Tianquan Jeremy on the way there! They were catching the same show as us~ Hahaha coincidental much~ After getting the tix, we went to have our lunch! That was my first and last meal of the day.. What's wrong with my tummy recently... Even if i want to eat, I'LL EAT JUNK FOOOOOOOOD. That's so bad T_T

After the movie, Liqian came and meet us at AMK. We were planning to go dance that night. But there was still alot of time to kill, so we went to Geraldine's house to slack. Wow talked about so many things... & to be honest i'm still quite stunned over what we talked. LOL. Left the place at around 7 and went to scape. AND WE REALISED THERE WAS NO DANCE THAT DAY DANG. Ended up roaming around Somerset313. Saw so many things that i wanted to buy from Forever21~~~ Woohooo Liqian ah we're so going back there right~!

Went home at 9, reached home at 10.30pm. Sorry my face looked like i've drunk alot of beer but i really didnt HAHA. Yay i'll probably post later in the night again~ For now, adios~

Prom Night

2011-11-24T23:03:00.000+08:00

HELLO I finally found my USB cable for my camera~! I'm not gonna show all the photos here tho. Heh firstly, this is a picture of how the 7 of us looked like during Prom.

Family photo! Heh... K actually i know we're lacking of someone. Jazreel Loh. Without them, i really dont know how i'd survive sec2 life.

YAY I LOVE MISS SHANTI! The best teacher i've had! Even though i hate Chemistry...... HIAKHIAK~

YAY the 2 hilarious pabos! Luv them really. Thanks Vasu for always being such a gentlemen and tolerating my nonsensical attitude. Thanks Dinesh for always giving me support during O's~

YAY Bellda the dancing machine!!!! I'll never forget the first time i enter the dance studio, Miss Shining paired us up cuz i was lost and needed someone to teach me the steps. Yay gonna mizz all those dance times :')

Geraldineeeeeeee *_* I'll never forget last year, never forget chicken rice, never forget the surprise you and jazreel gave me, never forget CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. Luv ya luv ya luv ya!

JOEL TSENGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. The idiot that never stops teasing me with Dennis and Marcus -_- The body that's made up of STONEEEEE :P

Jonas Koh JH~ Eh bradder gonna miss you la idiot. Thanks for being there when i had no one to talk to.

PRINCIPAL OF MY SCHOOL. K actually i think i should've taken photo with Mr Peterson instead... Didnt had the chance awwwwwng :(

And this means..........

END OF SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE.

끝!

Ditch the 2 faced bitches

2011-11-23T16:41:00.000+08:00

Wassup~!

I! Woke up at freaking 11.30am today. Okay to me, it is already kinda late ah~ Slacked on da bed till it was 1pm. Finally decided to bathe and now i'm enjoying the cozy weather with a hot cup of milo~ Hehe. I slept at 4.30am yesterday night :( What a tough night yesterday. Totally couldnt sleep. All cuz of some annoying ass that gets so offended over me insulting myself and says its unnecessary. HA joke of the night.

Your fucking lame tweets are more unnecessary than my post. Limits? What fucking limits are you talking about? I think if have petition, i confirm win. Joke sia really. Like what Xiaue tweeted: "Nothing makes your haters more mad than when you have a fucking awesome life." So hate me k? I dont mind. :)

This post is unnecessary but i just want you to see it, stalker. Mess with me? Dont you dare, asshole.

Insecurities

2011-11-23T02:24:00.000+08:00

Hello there readers~ You know? Its almost 2am right now. & I have just finished a drama called 'Secret Garden' which was aired last year this time too, i suppose. Its so awesome... I really believe in fate and fairytales. I know normal people would say i'm crazy and its all just in my imagination. But think deeper dear readers. Something similar must have happened to somebody for the director to even have such storylines in their heads. Something must have happened to those authors who wrote 'Cinderella', 'The Little Mermaid', 'Sleeping Beauty', 'Snow white', 'Beauty & the beast' etc. If they can ACT it out, it means there is a 0.0001% possibility that it MIGHT happen to somebody living on earth. Heh~ Nevermind~ I dream alot~ Hence my tumblr's URL is QUIXOTIC~ DREAMS~ Heh!!!!

I had a unforgettable Prom Night on the 21st of Nov 2011. :) Even though i had no date, i had my girls with me. Sorry i couldnt find my usb cable for my camera so i've got no pictures to upload. The picture above is from Irisa's cam(if i'm not wrong). From that you can already tell how much fun we had huh~ Saw many well dressed people there yesterday~ Beautiful people.

Took a look at those photos that people tagged me in on Facebook. Dang... Yes i know you know what i'm gonna say next. Yes you've guessed correct, it's about me being really darn fat. I dont get it really. My clique is one perfect example of 'hungry ghosts' man. They get hungry so easily i have no words to describe ah seriously. BUT LOOK AT THEIR SIZE HUH. What is this. What unfair life i have. I dont eat, i put on weight. I eat, i put on weight. I exercise, i stay the same. I dont exercise, i put on weight. Eh seriously?! I should just jump down the building and die suan le. Not that i wanna be so annoyed over this matter. But everyone judges. I swear.

People around me can actually say that they are fat when right infront of them, is someone(me) fatter than them. Sorry but i'll think that you're indirectly insulting me. Like straightdown! Or if someone like my size wears a so called revealing top, somebody HAVE to criticize them. I dont know la k. I really wanna be slim. I really wanna look confident. I really wanna experience looking slim for once. Huh. Sobs i'm not even kidding.

I cannot stand competition. I know i'll definitely lose. This is how lousy i am.

If theres a girl fighting for the same guy that i like, that girl would win. I have nothing that a guy would like. Body? Ohmy i think the guy would vomit just looking at me. Face? OH GOD my face has so many flaws the guy would think i'm from Mars. Personality? Ha if i've got no body no face, why the hell would they even wanna get to know my personality? Unless we are stuck in some forced circumstances la, which is unlikely too. If there's someone fighting for the number 1 stop in studies, i'd lose. I've got no brains. I've got no hardworking genes. I'm just a piece of shit with super low IQ and EQ. Seriously....... How much more imperfect can i get. No one understands this feeling i swear. You guys would definitely compare me with handicapped people etc. Seriously WE'RE DIFFERENT. I'm comparing with PEOPLE WHO ARE THE SAME AS ME. People who has 2 legs 2 hands 2 eyes 1 nose 1 mouth 2 ears 10 fingers 10 toes.

Fuck all of you who says i'm writing this just to gain attention because 90% of you wouldnt even give a shit about what i'm writing so whatever i'm writing here is all from my miserable heart.

Sigh miserable. So god damn miserable.

Here i am

2011-11-20T18:23:00.000+08:00

As usual, Sunday is always a no-going-out-with-friends-day. Well, i mean i feel that its only right to stay home at least on the day where both my parents are home. Even though we dont talk every minute, the feeling of knowing that they are home is good. Being home feels good too. :) Right now, i lying comfortably on my bed using the laptop. Isnt life great this way? Heh i'm just lacking of good food. I'm kinda on the plus sized side so.... Guess i should count the good food out. :(

Had lunch with my paternal grandmother, grandaunt, granduncle and aunt today. I'm not very familiar with my relatives. So when i saw my grandaunt and uncle, they were like, 'oh you dont recognise me?' Yeah.... I dont... They live in Sydney for 15 years. So they came back to visit their relatives i guess.

Sometimes when i see old people, i think of how short life is. One day, i'm gonna be as old as my grandfamily. In all honesty i cant believe i'm already 16 years old. I know i'm still very young. You know what? I'm hoping to marry before the age of 30. That means i have only 14 more years to find Mr Right... How is that possible... -_- Well i shall not be bothered about that for now.

Hehehehe so.... Prom's tomorrow. Singapore's Prom is just bullshit ah so.... Whatever. & I'm so gonna look like a flower. Everyone's like expecting me to look like some glam lady wearing some black sexy dress tomorrow huh? NO. I'm gonna look like a flower with long fake legs cuz of the heels. Heh look forward to it ok. My belt's very loose and i'm feeling annoyed about it. No time to look for another belt so i'll just stick to that. Hopefully, JUST HOPEFULLY, my make up doesnt screw up tomorrow cuz if it does, hallelujah~ I'm so not taking photos with anyone k.

Who's gonna do my eyeliner for me?! Who's gonna stick the stupid fake eyelashes for me?! NUGUUUUUUU? (T^T)....

가장 친한 친구s (Best Friends)

2011-11-19T14:07:00.000+08:00

Hello how's life? It's been a long time huh? I've been thinking if i should return to blogging. I havent got the time to do such stuff for the whole year because i had to go through with the tiresome O Levels. Now that i'm done with it, I feel so relieved. I might not get the best results, but i know i've tried my best, seriously. Regardless of the results, i should just enjoy my life now heh~

I've been hanging out with my darlings almost everyday. Not all of them, but most of the time its the same few people; Amanda, Andrea, Charlotte, Liqian, Jai, Yvonne.

I feel so thankful that i have these 6 beautiful friends. Honestly, ever since young when i had to go through such miserable life(Changing of environment, changing of friends, everything.), i've given up on friends. There was always this line in between me and "friends" because i know someday, we'll definitely part. & i really hate the feeling of parting. It makes me weak. It makes me tear and stuff. Thinking back, i'm probably the one who always break a friendship. I'm sorry to those whom i've never contact anymore. I sincerely apologise. However these 6 friends made me change my opinion of 'friends' and 'life'.

Life's just TOO short to feel miserable everyday. Ever since Secondary 3, when i start to get close with the 6 darlings, i told myself i had to have a line. Just in case i get all emotional when we move on with life, which is this period, when we come to an end to our secondary school life. However, I can't. Friends are friends. We're meant to be close to each other. How can i just go against fate right? They tolerated my terrible temper, comforted me when i'm down, entertained me when i'm bored. We did almost everything together. If there is ever a day we're gonna go our own ways, i know i'd be terribly upset but everything is a beautiful memory. It's part of life.

To the 6 beautiful ladies: I love you. Simple words but I'm typing it out wholeheartedly.