Insecurities

Hello there readers~ You know? Its almost 2am right now. & I have just finished a drama called 'Secret Garden' which was aired last year this time too, i suppose. Its so awesome... I really believe in fate and fairytales. I know normal people would say i'm crazy and its all just in my imagination. But think deeper dear readers. Something similar must have happened to somebody for the director to even have such storylines in their heads. Something must have happened to those authors who wrote 'Cinderella', 'The Little Mermaid', 'Sleeping Beauty', 'Snow white', 'Beauty & the beast' etc. If they can ACT it out, it means there is a 0.0001% possibility that it MIGHT happen to somebody living on earth. Heh~ Nevermind~ I dream alot~ Hence my tumblr's URL is QUIXOTIC~ DREAMS~ Heh!!!!

I had a unforgettable Prom Night on the 21st of Nov 2011. :) Even though i had no date, i had my girls with me. Sorry i couldnt find my usb cable for my camera so i've got no pictures to upload. The picture above  is from Irisa's cam(if i'm not wrong). From that you can already tell how much fun we had huh~ Saw many well dressed people there yesterday~ Beautiful people.

Took a look at those photos that people tagged me in on Facebook. Dang... Yes i know you know what i'm gonna say next. Yes you've guessed correct, it's about me being really darn fat. I dont get it really. My clique is one perfect example of 'hungry ghosts' man. They get hungry so easily i have no words to describe ah seriously. BUT LOOK AT THEIR SIZE HUH. What is this. What unfair life i have. I dont eat, i put on weight. I eat, i put on weight. I exercise, i stay the same. I dont exercise, i put on weight. Eh seriously?! I should just jump down the building and die suan le. Not that i wanna be so annoyed over this matter. But everyone judges. I swear.

People around me can actually say that they are fat when right infront of them, is someone(me) fatter than them. Sorry but i'll think that you're indirectly insulting me. Like straightdown! Or if someone like my size wears a so called revealing top, somebody HAVE to criticize them. I dont know la k. I really wanna be slim. I really wanna look confident. I really wanna experience looking slim for once. Huh. Sobs i'm not even kidding.

I cannot stand competition. I know i'll definitely lose. This is how lousy i am.

If theres a girl fighting for the same guy that i like, that girl would win. I have nothing that a guy would like. Body? Ohmy i think the guy would vomit just looking at me. Face? OH GOD my face has so many flaws the guy would think i'm from Mars. Personality? Ha if i've got no body no face, why the hell would they even wanna get to know my personality? Unless we are stuck in some forced circumstances la, which is unlikely too.  If there's someone fighting for the number 1 stop in studies, i'd lose. I've got no brains. I've got no hardworking genes. I'm just a piece of shit with super low IQ and EQ. Seriously....... How much more imperfect can i get. No one understands this feeling i swear. You guys would definitely compare me with handicapped people etc. Seriously WE'RE DIFFERENT. I'm comparing with PEOPLE WHO ARE THE SAME AS ME. People who has 2 legs 2 hands 2 eyes 1 nose 1 mouth 2 ears 10 fingers 10 toes.

Fuck all of you who says i'm writing this just to gain attention because 90% of you wouldnt even give a shit about what i'm writing so whatever i'm writing here is all from my miserable heart.

Sigh miserable. So god damn miserable.