Placed in my heart

"This isn't goodbye. Even as I watch you leave, this isn't goodbye. I swear I won't cry. Even if tears filled my eyes, I swear I won't cry."

PS: Taken during Recital. It's such a beautiful picture. Yes I'm hidden at the back.

 Mahal kita Mary Chris~ <3  

 

Woke up this morning and stoned till like 1.30m before leaving the house. K I was pretty sure I was thinking a lot of things while stoning. Many random random stuff... Reached the airport pretty early... At about 2.30pm I was already there. So I chilled at CBTL till the rest came. Talked awhile and we went to Mcdonalds because Lav and Jingwen wanted to eat. After that we went to find Mycs! Well, she wasn't there yet and I was pretty worried because the queue was sooooo long! Hm heheh~ She reached and so did her danzpeople friends. She spent more time talking to her danzpeople mates than us. No we are not sad, I'm happy to even be there to see her :)  

 

Waited for her to check in her luggage and then the whole group decided to go CBTL cuz Mycs wanted to. So we followed her there. Chatted awhile with her on the way there... When we reached, LASALLE peeps decided to leave.. & I was sad because I wasn't even prepared to say goodbye yet. I thought we'd see her go into the departure area... Alright well~ She gave us hugs and I love her hugs sobs. I promised myself not to cry. I didn't! Then..... Before she hugged me, she told me she read my letter. BOOM.. I didn't expect it at all... Gawddddddd she hugged me for so long!!!!!!! No one has ever hugged me so tightly and so long before :') I kept thinking she'd let go anytime so I just tried to let go but she didn't... She just continued hugging me SOBS MYCS!!!! I felt so warm and tears just came out. NO I didn't cry that's called tearing. It's different from crying. LOL. I'm never gonna forget that moment and I'm gonna treasure it forever and ever!! HEHE "I JUST WANNA FEEL THIS MOMENT~~~" Best few minutes of my life. 

 

I have too many omg-mycs-can-read-my-mind incidents already. If I name it all out I think it'd be too freaky lol. So there was this day where she posted a picture on insta with all the cards she received. I didn't see mine... I didn't even see my polaroid.. I was so sad I even whatsapped Jingwen HA cuz her card was there. So I spent my day thinking if she read my card.. Literally lol. Or did it got thrown somewhere and she lost it.. BOO I can't believe she told me she read it just now. I think I was too happy :') &....... She bought a new navy converse and was telling her danzpeople mates just now. I swear to god I was thinking of what shoes I should wear last night. I mean I never ever think of such things but I did last night. I thought of wearing my converses because I was wearing shorts. But I didn't cuz I was afraid I'd have sore feet after dancing. That was why my reaction was like "wa!!~" when I saw it. I know I was abit retarded hehe but still~ Gah you won't get me la I'll just sound like I'm retarded. She always talks to me like she knows what I'm thinking. It's creepy sometimes but wheee I think that's what a connection meant. I'm sure the other students get it too!!!!!! LOL~

 

Meeting you was god's plan. I thank god for that. I'm so blessed to have met you. Can't imagine what I be if you weren't the one who coached us. To be able to share the stage with you on recital night, was the most amazing thing ever. I never ever get to share a stage with ANY teachers in my life. Thank you <3 You've impacted me so much in this short period of time. No other teacher was ever that impactful :') To be able to see another side of you.... That's my most non-regretful part of choosing to be in Recital. (NOT LIKE I EVER REGRETTED C'MON OUR PIECE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!) Now everytime I hear a Rihanna song, I'll think of you!!! Because you're such a Rihanna!!!!! Hehe~~

 

It's sad that she's leaving us but it shouldn't be either because she is going back to further her studies and that is her true home. I'm happy for her :) Yes I'm sure we'll see her soon. Idc I make sure it happens!!!!!

 

Went back to school after that to practice our own piece for this audition that we had at 8pm. Had difficulties finding Robert Jenkin's studio. Goodness it was so scary the allies and shit. Our audition was only us and we were done in 20minutes. Aye so scary I don't like. The place was so small and it was only the 3 of us and the 3 judges. Lol creepy. Got over it and had dessert at this nearby pastry shop. Slacked there till almost 10 and went home.  

 

Ending off my day with a smile. :) Thankful right now, for everything. Love you once again Mycs <3

Time to move on

 

Woke up at 9.30 this morning because dad told me to follow them to the koi farm -_- I did only because he said there was buffet. Lol it was so boring and I was so moody I almost killed myself. Stoned there till like 3pm and went home. Stoned at home till 5.30pm and we went parkway parade. Went Crystal jade for dinner and walked around. I just didn't wanna go home so early.... Lol gah I'm never gonna get over this till a week later or something. I'm so sad right now I just can't get over it. She trained all of us till a certain acceptable level and then she just leaves. No this is just..... I don't feel like I'm hanging around because I have other plans ahead. I am just afraid things will not turn out as well as I've planned. I'm already missing the feeling of being in a recital and stuff like that. But it's not the same without Mycs.... Like she's our teacher that was why we went to the recital in the first place. Because other than seeing her at danzpeople we still see her at school. I feel like that's such a privilege and I love having that privilege but we can never have that again :(

 

I don't know if this is gonna work but according to Andrea it does. She told me what she usually do is to cry all out all at once so she wont cry anymore on the day itself. I'm gonna do it right now but I don't know. I really really fucking don't wanna cry tomorrow. I really don't want even though I know I will. I want her to send her off on a happy note. I DONT WANNA FUCKING CRY. Stupid cry baby what the heck stupid -slaps self-

 

I'm really stoning. I want time to freeze right now. Or freeze when we see her tomorrow. I'm flying off to Thailand this Friday but right now I'm not excited for it... I wished she stayed till at least the end of this year... Then she could still do swaggout and danzation and all the other end of year shows that they always do. & I would still be able to attend her classes at danzpeople. Fug this shit I can't continue goodbye

Teary combo

3 straight days of full blast emotions.... Boo :'( This post is gonna be filled with crying faces. Disclaimer first.

Spent the whole day at school yesterday. We had our last hip hop rehearsal with Mycs. Treasured every single second left in the class.. No matter how tired I was I just kept going... I wouldn't see her in class anymore, what more do I have to lose? Class was supposed to be from 10.30-12 but it wasn't enough to finish the blocking for yfest's third day performance. So it was extended till 12.45.. But she spent like almost 45minutes saying her last speech to us and talking to us and hugging us individually :'( Couldn't stop crying... I want her to stay I really do... At least if she stays, I could go to her open class even if we don't get to learn hip hop next year in school... :'( I can't thank her enough for everything... Really... 

After her class, some of us stayed back to do a video for her. We performed a choreography she taught us a few months back but we didn't get to perform. Of course we added in a few changes here and there and had personal messages for her at the end.. I'm not the talking type of person I didn't know what to say on the spot.... Hmmm but I hope she feels my gratefulness from the card I gave to her. Love you Mary Chris 

 

Danzpeople recital was today. I fell asleep at 10 last night. I was actually forcing myself to stay awake till Mycs replied my message but her last seen was so long ago and it wasn't like her. So I slept at 10 and woke up at 10.30. Checked if she saw the message, BUT HER LAST SEEN DIDN'T CHANGE..... K so I went to sleep. Haha woke up at 7.30 the next day.. Prepared and headed to school.

Did makeup and went to NLB drama theatre for our stage run and full run and alot of runs LOL. We got to rest for 1.5hours. During that time I was busy helping people do their hair.... So didn't eat. Mycs came to our dressing room before call time. Happy she did cuz we managed to take photos with her and showed her the video we made <3 Of course tears came out again :'( She was holding it in but I knew she was crying already.. Her reaction to the video is really priceless.... Mycs :'( Meh what should we do with you mycs you make us cry so much :'( 

Show started. Went around taking photos with random people. Performed and was not feeling very good because it meant that the day was gonna end... Already felt super sad when they were doing the curtain call rehearsal. I don't want it to end :( This Jingwen keep telling me to not start.... But she cry so much nobody can win her really. 

After the show, when Patrick kept calling for Mycs I was already tearing :( When she brought out tissues to clean the floor area that was wet I felt even more sad. Don't know why but while she was making her speech I cried even more... Waited for Mycs to us and she said she didnt like us cuz we always cry... I felt happy that she said that because it means we mean alot to her... And yeah when she said that we all cried again and gave her another big hug. This is not gonna end :'( I can't be happy because she's leaving. I just can't!!!! Haven't been talking much to my parents lately cuz I'm just this way :( I need a few days... To be okay. There's the last one which is on Monday, the actual day she's really leaving and we're sending her off.. I can't bear to see her walk away I really can't... 

Writing this out is just not helping my emotions at all because I'm sobbing like mad now. I'm like recalling what happened so it kinda brought back the feelings too... No Mycs no... Luvenia says we're going to the Philippines next year. I really hope it's true cuz I'd really go!!!

Ryan swaggout sexy man if y'all remember from my swaggout post.  

Vampire dancers from the best item of the night excluding the Instructors item.

My Mary Chris Villoso. You're the best <3

 

Photo with Amirul the most diva vampire ever

Last photo with her for the night after even more crying

 

 

 

Our item. I'm from 1:28 onwards. Try & spot me :)   Spent my Saturday in school again. So apparently Afiq's friend was coming to teach us choreo TODAY and not tomorrow. Me and Andrea and Jingwen thought it was tomorrow. Thank god I woke up at like 10ish if not I would've not gone. His choreo was amazing~~~ I had fun learning~ I was contemplating on whether I should go home or stay.. Didn't wanna go home because I think all I could do was probably stone or maybe start sobbing again... So I was sitting there... Using my phone, browsing through photos.... Already on the verge of crying and Afiq and Ruishan started playing Just Give Me a Reason. It doesn't link to Mycs in anyway, lyrics wise. But it was a sad song and I couldn't hear any sad song at that moment because I was already sad and YEAH FILLED WITH EMOTIONS. Gah bleh I didn't expect myself to cry so stupid. Funny thing was I made Andrea cry with me OMG LOL.   I decided to stay on because yeah I didn't wanna go home and sob even more. Went for dinner and Amirul joined us after that. Went back to the studio to dance even more~ Taught them our grown woman and All night choreo!! Afiq catches steps so fast goodness gracious. Stayed there till 10plus and went back home~ It was fun! Didn't regret staying...   But thinking that I'm not gonna do anything particular tomorrow and that I'm sending off Mycs on Monday is making me super teary. I am picturing so many possible scenes in my head and it's driving me nuts. WHY WHY WHY T_T I'm so sad that we only get 1 year with her and all her other students in SG knew her for 2 years... We only got 1 year T_T ONE YEAR IS TOO SHORT EVEN SHE SAID IT... Mary mary mary you shouldn't leave. I'm never gonna say goodbye. Noooooo :'(

Last rehearsal

Spent my afternoon watching Flower boy next door. I started last 2 days ago from where I left off months back. Haha sigh I love shows where i can relate to so well. Park Shin Hye's character's so me except i haven't been througj extreme bullying la. (Minor bully considered right? lol...) But then again, they always make guy characters so perfect. Like damn girl, ain't no cheerful dude gonna stand your quietness and anti-socialness and shit. Lol well c'mon I've been through that what do I not know? So sweet anyways moving on~~~~

Went for Mycs last funk jazz open class today. Sigh it was so emotional after class i cant even.... She kept crying and there i was trying to hold my tears. I mean i would still see her for the next three days... Didnt wanna cry so much until the very end... & i've already cried enough on sunday night. (God i swear to god it was so horrible..) Jingwen wanted to take a photo. I was like "dood shes crying" But she didnt care so she went infront and i would need to take for her right, so I went infront too. Mycs said something which I didn't hear but it made Jingwen cry... So I went forward to hug Mycs too and she said we had alot of potential and she cried even more sobs. And then because she cried even more, I cried. Basically IT WAS JUST A AFTERCLASS FILLED WITH TEARS. Booo I really don't wanna know what's gonna happen after recital... But I can't wait to give her our gift and my own special gift :B 

Oh well after all the sobbing, we went for Desiree's jazz class. Wa super tiring... Had our last Jazz funk rehearsal tonight. I still don't understand why I become so out of breath so easily. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I can survive 4 minutes of pure hiphop and 3 minutes of other genres of dance but I die so bad after 3minutes of jazz funk. Gawd must be Andreas' piece. IDK I think I use too much energy on his piece. Then when it comes to finale, I DIE. Super tiring... 

Cabbed home after that and yup here I am.... Blogging when I'm supposed to be sleeping... Gotta wake up at 7.30 tomorrow. Need to stop typing.... HAHA OK BYE!!! 

Teary night

Woke up at 9ish this morning cuz smart daddy told the aircon man to do the aircon at 10. Argh. But i conked out in my bro's room till like 1pm. Haaa~ 

Had 2 full runthroughs of the recital just now. While I was watching, I was feeling so many emotions at one go. I was so inspired by the instructors over there. I was literally crying cuz they were so good (fml what's wrong with me). Maybe because I could see all the instructors' burning hot passion for their job. Kayte's item was so super super powerful. The moment they danced we all felt their power. It was really..... super duper nice to watch them. & When I saw Mycs danced in so many pieces, it strucked me that Recital was gonna be her last performance in Singapore. I got even more emotional and held those bloody tears in like nobody's business :'( Nooooo she's so amazing I can't bear to see her go back to Philippines :( Meh sobbing while typing this so sad. 

I can't deal with goodbyes. That's one of the most torturing thing to go through ever. I remembered I cried the whole journey back from Korea to Singapore cuz I couldn't bear to say goodbye to this tremendously awesome Korean friend of mine. Someone whom I've spent my full 8 days with. I had to say goodbye :( And also when i was younger... Mummy used to travel soooo much. I cried everytime she flies. Sobs argh I just hate it when there's a bond between me and somebody and then that someone has to leave. Sucks ok my heart's not as strong as you guys think it is. I think it's softer than jelly and I hate it!!!!!!!! 

Why am I so emotional? Sigh I really don't know. I can really cry cuz of anything. That's probably one of the things I hate about myself. Maybe that's why I rather not feel anything. I rather have a stoned or stressed face or whatever people portray me as than to let them know that i'm such a crybaby. I feel so meh when i cry over small things. Such a cry baby. Boo.. Miss Melissa was like "Are you very emotional?" What was I supposed to answer to that? lol... Yup exposed myself but yeah I feel better saying it out.. 

Ok ima stop it. I need to up my game. I really want to be good T_T I want people to "wow" over me next time.. Really thats my only dream for years. :'( I really want to be there. Don't judge me cuz I'm so far from it. I don't know if I'll ever ever reach there but I'll try... I'll do anything it takes to reach there. Sigh some people just has it in their body and some people( like me) are just born with no talent at all..

Also... Can I stop being stressed over the tiniest things? Sigh I hate to see the people around me angry or annoyed over my anxiety but I can't do anything to stop myself. Is there an injection that'll make me less stressed or not stressed at all? Sigh whys my life like this. 

Boooo what an emotional night. Thoughts kill me. It definitely does.... 

Hello guys. It's like 2.18 in the morning and I've decided to blog. Sigh I think I've never been as moody as today ever. It started out like last night. I slept at 8pm because I hardly had any sleep the previous night. I swore I felt like I slept for many hours. When I woke up, it was only 10pm. Fuck this shit. So I was awake till like 5 in the morning. 

I went to school an hour earlier and had breakfast. Warmed up and waited for the other mates to come. Well Mycs was an hour late. So our senior, Liyana took over the class. She made me feel like i was preparing for syf lol. K whatever I just sucked it up and do as told. When mycs arrived, she blocked us for the ending. Then we were divided into 2 groups, 1 doing Beyonce dance and another doing a Janet Jackson dance. I'm in the beyonce dance woohoo~ Me and Jingwen already knew the dance because we went to Mycs' class the other day. Bleh she had to tell our seniors that we knew the dance... Hmmm well pressure much? Ah but the seniors kept asking for Jingwen's help so..... 

Jingwen had to leave halfway cuz she had some ballet class going on so I ended up leading. Ah but they also never ask me anything much so yeah. I really think there's something about me that repels people away. Yeah I was kinda offended in a way. I don't even know how I'm supposed to put this la but yeah whatever it is, it added on to my already bad mood. lol 

People never ever include me in any outings or parties or whatever nonsense and I don't understand why. Argh fuck I'm like typing and back spacing. You know what I'm so pissed off in everyway you can ever think of. Especially towards someone but I just don't know how to say it out. So mad so pissed I'm about to explode right at your face but I'm just gonna hold it in cuz it doesn't matter anyway. Today was one good example of how even if I die no one will ever check up on me. 

I sometimes wish you can stand in someone else's position and see yourself. Only then you'll know what kind of a person you are and you're not that great at all. 

My menses is probably coming. I'm just gonna use that as an excuse for my horrible mood swing today. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Goodnight 

Dance again

Sup y'all

Went to meet Jai for a short while before recital rehearsals. Caught up alittle while eating froyo and went to meet up with Jingwen. Bleh the chocolate area at Plaza Sing is GONEEEEE :( Boooo so sad. I went to buy bubbletea instead and she bought P.OSH's brownie. Haha.

I was itching to dance so badly. This one only dancers can understand.. LOL Jazmin was asking why I keep moving around. CAN'T STOP... Has been like this since the afternoon. Yep I spent half my afternoon watching dance videos. Gosh I don't even know how I can not get bored of it. I can literally spend hours watching dance videos. Well to make you freak, I can watch my own dance videos for more than an hour finding me and other people's mistakes.

Went for Mycs' class and it was so awesome~ The choreo is just so WHEEEE~ So sad... Next week's Mycs' last lesson :( Sigh boohoo can I go for her hip hop class on Saturday too? :( Noooooo I really can't take this in. I can't believe next year's a different teacher. I can't believe we're not gonna have hip hop lessons next year. I can't believe it!!!! I really wanna continue hip hop. Sigh but I just cannot find someone as consistent as I am....

Alright so we stepped out of Mycs class. I barely rested and Jingwen was so excited to go for Desiree's lesson, which was lyrical Jazz. I watched the class from outside before. It was so technical.. I was scared :( So I contemplated for a really long time but I decided to go anyway. No harm done trying new stuff. It was actually really super fun!!!!! LOL I really loved the choreography!! But like she said, this time her choreography was more to the street jazz side. Bleh either ways it's still fun and I hope to go again! Because of this, I'm kinda excited for Jazz next year HAAAAA. Well it actually depends on who's teaching...

I suddenly thought of this in the shower. Miss Melissa told us that she would find a stricter, less difficult teacher for Jazz and Contemp. Then I thought.... Well contemp I understand because it's more technical and you know.... we're not there yet so it's understandable to get a stricter teacher. But Jazz? Hmmmm Mycs tried being strict with us during the first semester and it obviously didn't work. We only got into hip hop during the second semester because she got less stricter in a way.. Like popular dance genres are supposed to be fun and hyper and you know, more of feeling the song. It's not supposed to be scary and make us like BLEH.... YOU GET IT? Sigh why didn't I think of this during the meeting. Lol but then again I might not have said anything.

Another thing I've been thinking about ALOT lately... Why don't I get noticed when I dance? How do people stand out during a performance? HOWWWWW. Comments I get from people are so..... sigh makes me wanna cry. Sigh I've been thinking so much about this and I'm getting nowhere. I remember how last time so many people said I looked good doing this dance called "Bad girls". But I personally thought that it was horrible. Like really... I went to watch this old video that danzpeople filmed of us doing "Bad girls". Holy shit I was not only terrible, I was so fat!!!!!! LOL!!! How could people actually say I look good in that dance.... Boooohooooo what is it that's not making me stand out in a good way...? My fatty-ness? :( My born-this-way face? I really feel like I'm just ...... lol I don't know how to say. You know like good dancers, no matter where you put them, they'd still get noticed cuz you know, they're good! But average dancers, no matter where you put them, even if they got like 5 solos (lol i'm exaggerating bear with me here), you'll still be like invisible!!!!! Aiya to make you relate to this even more, it's like you've put in so much effort into something and yet no one sees the effort and just looks past it. How sad sigh

Guess that's all I wanna say for today. I'm very happy with today's rehearsal. Like even though I was literally bathing in sweat and dying from Andreas' part of the dance, it felt so good after rehearsal. Yay I have nothing on tomorrow and I don't feel good about it cuz I don't like rotting at home. I'm glad that there's dance on Thurs Fri Sat~ I really like the feeling of preparing for a show sobs and its all gonna end when May ends :( Nooooo can I have more shows to prepare for? Meh......

International Dance Day

I spent my Thursday in school. Woke up, watched afew episodes of pll and went to school for hip hop rehearsal. After rehearsal, we had dinner and watched the Acting level 1 students' show; DNA. It was kinda cool actually. I always find that actors are so amazing because they can remember every freaking line from the whole damn script. How do they do that?!!! Spent my Thursday night with Shawn Shafiq Afiq and Andrea. How long has it been since I last spent time with them!???!?! Gosh. Went home and Shawn was being so noisy on the train sigh. It's so tiring to respond or entertain him. LOL

Initially there wasn't school on Friday. But Jingwen made us go back to rehearse hip hop. So yeah we went back to school. & rehearsal time was supposedly 2-3.30/4. But it dragged till 5... ._. I was so tired already I can't even think anymore. Went to have breaklunner with Lavanya and Andrea after that. Ate at Everything with fries! Then went to shop for my hip hop shoes. Thank god I found the same one Yaqi lent me the other day for my rep presentation.

Every night I'm having insomnia. Sobs I cannot fall asleep earlier than 4am everyday now sigh :'( I slept at 4ish on Friday night and I really couldn't wake up this morning. I was so thankful my mom could fetch me all the way to school. That gave me more time to prepare for school. Went to school at 10 for program feedback thingy. Did it till like 11.45 and Miss Melissa released us to go to NLB for our performance.

Holy crap it was such a pathetic performance. Now firstly, the space was so huge. & there were SOOOOO little people. I mean if the space was smaller, that number of people would seemed that little. But that space was soooooo huge and OPEN! Gosh looking so pathetic. & the people watching us had a zombie look on their faces. Wow? Totally reminded me of the students at Deyi sec. HOLY MAN they are like..... brain dead or something. Well of course la they were O level students but still... If I were them and I've been cramping like ss notes into my head and suddenly the school decides to let me watch a hip hop performance, i'd be so hyped even IF the group is not very good. God I don't even look forward to performing at Deyi again. Sigh I actually miss performing in my secondary school :( I remember how so many people cheered for us even though we're not good. But you know.... Like for moral support or something.

There was this group of kids that performed, they were taught by Ewan; my primary school hip hop teacher. GOSH THEY WERE SO AWESOME THEY KILLED IT SO WELL. (I swear I was intimidated by their energy and power when they performed) Sigh I really wanna be good :( Ok so after the performance, we were all called up to the stage for idk what reason. At first I thought we were doing a last bow or something. But turns out.... We were up there to learn Bollywood dance. HAHAHAHA SO FUNNY It was actually quite fun and entertaining even though we looked like fools on stage. The choreographer herself looked like a fool because she choreographed on the spot and she didn't remember her own steps, making us even more confused. LOL WELL~~~~ At least I learnt afew basic Bollywood steps. So fun~

After that we had this small chat with Miss Melissa. It was like a continuation from the morning feedback thing. Talktalktalktalktalk......... Then me and Andrea went to have dinner with Shawn and Ariffin. I didn't understand why we had to walk in pairs. Why can't we just talk as a group. It was either me and Shawn or me and Ariffin. It was okay when I was with Shawn because I could talk to him and he's entertaining too. It was so frustrating throughout the night when she left me and Ariffin in the front while she's busy talking to Shawn. She knows very well that I can't click well with people who don't talk because I MYSELF don't bloody talk. Well if you wanna like bond with a particular person then it's only right that you only ask that person out and not go out as fours but leave out the people you don't wanna talk to. I was so happy to go home duh.

Tomorrow's mother's day yet I'm not doing anything for my mother. Bleh I'm just gonna hug her as tightly as I can tomorrow. Haha. Goodnight

Dance

Oh my god so short yet a tiring day. I was so happy when it started getting dark at like 4-ish in the evening. It wasn't raining YET. It was only lightning and shit and I was still home so it was FINE. The moment I got out of the house, the rain came and it wasn't a light one. IT WAS EXTREMELY HEAVY WITH EXTREME WIND. Felt like I was back in Taiwan. (BAD) Felt like a typhoon!!! So horrible. The water level was covering my shoes. REALLY IT WAS. It's not like just one puddle but it was everywhere! I tried so hard to avoid it but FAILED. My whole tights were wet as hell. My bag was too. Unlucky me, my bag's made of cotton lol.

Alright so I braved through the rain. Reached Ion and went around looking for tie dyed jeans. Nope there's no jeans only leggings. SIGH MY THIGHS AND I'M WEARING LEGGINGS. It was so white too I feel so sad right now. My legs are gonna look like pig trotters on that day man. Ok whatever it is, I was kinda sad that we didn't manage to catch Mycs' class. :( By the time we reached pomo, it was already like 7.40. Had dinner and then went up to danzpeople at like 8.30. Caught Mycs after her class and she went like "I thought you were gonna come to my class you know!!!!" I FELT SO BLEH I REALLY WANTED TO GO T_T Oh well she showed me the class choreo. Haha so random yay feeling closer to Mycs. (YEAH WHAT TIMING. SHE'S GONNA LEAVE IN 2 WEEKS -_-)

Watched Andreas' class from the outside and stretching my thighs cuz it was really so painful. Think I got the ache from Sheena's stretching class. EH DUH what other class would make me ache so bad... LOL. Sigh must be the center split. I remember after doing Albert's class for 3 days in a row I ached like a mad bitch because one of his exercises included this center split thingy that hurt me so badly. :( I also woke up this afternoon with a super duper bad knee. It hurt so badly that everytime I move that joint I feel the pain. Shit I don't know if it's an old injury from Albert's class. I suppose it is because that's the only time where I hurt my knee.

Finally after so many weeks, Andreas started blocking his Beyoncé part of the recital piece. Okay he blocked before but he kinda threw that blocking away and did a new one with the full Beyoncé cast (one was missing but ....) SO TOUGH. His piece is the shortest piece you know. It's like 1min30seconds and it's the hardest to pull off I swear to god. He's so particular about getting it in unison and right. I think that's the good thing about him. I like teachers/choreographers who notices the students mistakes and stuff like that. When he corrects me I feel abit embarrassed la but that means he's watching!!! (But lol the mistake that he corrected me.... Wasn't actually a mistake. It was a shaking your hair movement. But my hair was tied up so if I touch my hair it'd be super duper messy (not like my hair is super neat or anything) so I just like mark that step.) Bleh I'm so sad though. There was this one part of his dance. It was supposedly done squatting down. But then he decided he would only make the guys squat. So I was damn happy! Now........ End up the 3 girls on each side squat, I'm obviously one of them. NEHNEH.... I think I'm killing my knee and thighs so badly. It's alright~ I'm sure I'll be able to do it effortlessly after awhile~ I felt so bad that I kept stepping on Esther's shoes :( Omg worse part was I didn't apologise to her. Boooo~ Was very entertained by Ryan and her though. Hahaa funny people~

Went home and was dramatic-texting mama on the cab. Gosh she so dramamama. All I said was that I don't like this job but i'll do it anyways. BUT she made a super duper big fuss and shit about it. She didn't even made things clear. She totally cut me off by saying "I'm going to sleep". & yeah, she stopped replying. I'm like happy yet unhappy at the same time. Happy cuz obviously yay I'm not working I got more free time to myself. But unhappy because it's kinda irresponsible to just not go for a job appointment that you've made and then leaving my friends like there too. Lol aye whatever I don't care anymore.

Gonna go dye my leggings tomorrow to a darker tone because it is seriously toooooo white for my huge thighs lol goodnight.

I'M EMBRACING XUEJUN'S TWEET. OHMMMMMMM~ Oh my goodness guys, Xuejun just tweeted me this, "I think of u i miss u listening to me talking abt j and j haha" HAHA WHAT THE HECK SHE DOESN'T EVEN SAY SUCH THINGS TO ME OK IF YOU'VE READ MY POSTS WHILE I WAS WORKING HAHA. MEH I wanna work with her again SIGH I KEEP SAYING THIS BUT YEAH T_T

Just came back from this stupid banquet training. Oh my god it was so bloody boring. Like it's really not my scope of job interest. I mean while I was standing there looking at the person demo, I was just thinking like, No I do not want to do that I should be the one sitting on the god damn chair with a sexy dress. I really actually don't care how much I earn man. My main priority is.... whether I'll enjoy the job, whether I'll meet people like Xuejun... Bleh even though working in iTea was more like..... tiring and stuff but at least it's very free and easy and I don't need to wear pants that are so bloody tight. I even get to see Kevin wriggle to Sistar's Not Alone (HAHAHA SIGH FUNNY DAYS) and see Christopher pms like a girl.

One day of not dancing and I already miss dancing. So happy I'm gonna spend tomorrow night at Danzpeople lol. YAY TO DANCE

Haven't talk to my tallest friend ever in like 2 years and I finally talked to him because I saw a picture on his facebook; a picture of him holding a red poodle with the caption "ME AND LATTE!". GOSH YOU GUYS DO KNOW MY RED POODLE IS CALLED LATTE TOO RIGHT....? HAHAHA What a coincidence and that's how our conversation started but..... I then realized it was his cousin's. Whatever it is.... I was amazed he could remember what we talked about 2 years back. EH HEY 2 YEARS IS A LONG TIME K. Hopefully I get to see him soon. When I said he was my tallest friend ever, I wasn't kidding. He's freaking 190cm -wanted to insert a photo but then I realized this stupid ass computer has no photos of my past so yeah fag this shit-.

Speaking of my computer........ I REALLY WANNA CHANGE MY DAMN COMPUTER. I FEEL IT'S DYING ON ME AGAIN. MY WIFI NONSENSE IS GETTING SLOWER AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I might just use up all my mobile data and then get scolded from my mother cuz of the bill. NOOOOOOO WHAT SHOULD I DO T_T The thing is.... Mummy's computer also died so she's contemplating on whether to get a MacBook or some Axus brand. I'm currently persuading her into getting a MacBook HAHA I DONT CARE I WANT A MACBOOK EVEN THOUGH IDK HOW TO USE IT. Eh she atas one. I just said buy a MacBook but she said "Hmmm MBA?" I was like "What's MBA I only know NBA" and she said "MacBook Air!!!!!" LOL piak my mama.

Sigh I miss my parents. I can't wait to shop with my mother can't wait to eat like a pig with my father can't wait to enjoy life with my family. AHHHH IT'S THE HOLIDAYS BUT I DON'T EVEN FEEL LIKE IT'S THE HOLIDAYS SIGH MAY HAS TO BE OVERRRRRR.

FEEL MY HAPPINESS GUYS. SCHOOL IS OFFICIALLY OVER FOR ME. I'm done with Arts History and the best part of it is.... I'VE PASSED WHEEEEEEEE LIFE IS GOOD LIFE IS GOOD. Right now, we're just preparing for upcoming performances. That also means Mycs is gonna leave for the Philippines soon... My sadness for her departure is slowly coming.. NOOOOOOOOO i'm gonna take many many photos with her during recital day

What I've been dreading is ushering for our seniors' grad show, The Unwritten Chapters..... What the heck waste of time really. What's worse is that we gotta rush to danzpeople for recital rehearsal right after that. Homaigad I rather just go danzpeople than stand for 2 hours doing nothing. While waiting outside H studio just now, we saw Miss Elizabeth. Jingwen asked about our ballet results and if anyone failed. Ha she kept giving me looks and I'm just like ". . . What do you want me to say" in my head. Jingwen last warning. Adi Andrea and I were there. She asked who failed? Lol there were 2 potential ballet failures right beside her and she asked that. Obviously Miss Elizabeth couldn't say anything so she gave an excuse. She said what need to tabulate previous scores and whatever..... Lol as if that'll help. I don't think my discipline is anywhere near 20/30 and my previous ballet assessment was only borderline. Tabulate what also fail. Argh dammit. I honestly don't feel like I'm gonna be promoted to diploma 2 but then I also feel like there's still chance. WHY WHY WHYYYYY AM I ALWAYS FACING SUCH SITUATIONS.

But whatever shit it is, my main focus now are the hip hop performances coming up. We're performing on the May 11th outside NLB. Hm according to my teacher, there's this stage thingy outside of NLB or somewhere near NLB LOL. That day is international dance day and NLB is celebrating it I guess???? LOL It's from 1-4pm and obviously there are other dancers performing. DO COME OR CALL YOUR FRIENDS TO COME. & On May 24th, it's danzpeople recital day. Apparently the auditorium is also at NLB. Or somewhere there HAHAHA. Our last performance would be at Yfest, 21-23rd June!!! Please come and watch us even though we're not that good but we'll still do our best-est LOL

ALRIGHT SAYONARA