Where's the motivation?

I am in need of serious help. I really can't find any motivation for school and school officially starts next week. That means I can't don't go to school and can't go to school late like how I've been doing for the past week and few days. WHAT SHOULD I DO? Everyone has something they go to school for. For idk what reason I feel like I've lost it. The only consolation that I have for myself is that time passes really fast this year and in no time, December will come.

Man.... My rashes are back again. Why is it always this time of the year that I have horrible rashes??? It's making me so super duper uncomfortable and insecure. My face also just gotten worst as soon as school is starting. JUST LIKE LAST YEAR. What is wrong with this stupid body!?!?!? If only there was somebody in school that I look forward to seeing everyday. I swear that would probably help me so much lol. I know you must be thinking "Dafak you go to school to study or to look at people" GUYS you people go to school too DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL.

Had an extremely aswesome yet sad dream this morning. I have the best dreams ever man really. Made me think of my sad lifeless life. WHY I DON'T HAVE SUCH THINGS IN MY LIFE. Sometimes I feel like god knows that I'm never ever gonna have experience such sweetness in my life and is making me feel it in my dreams instead. NOT HELPING AT ALL. When will this person ever appear in my life. WHEN. This sadness when you just know you're gonna stay single for life. (Lol omg currently playing on my music library: BEAST's How to love) I swear ah not a good feeling ok. OK i know you're gonna say "YOU'RE STILL YOUNG THERE'S A LONG WAY TO GO" Oh yeah right. 10 years may seem long but IT'LL FLY PAST IN NO TIME. If y'all know clicknetwork you'll know they have this show called "It's a date". Yesterday's episode was the last one and one of the girls wasn't paired up with anyone. The Emcee said "You can't be lazy! You gotta continue searching and find! He can't possibly appear magically!" and she answered "BUT I WANT HIM TO APPEAR MAGICALLY...." Lol. 18 years of my life. Never been in a real relationship. Not even a single date. NEVER. Haha and ikr... For someone who hasnt really dated and shit I actually know so much.

BLEH SO SAD OKAY. Now back to motivation for school. YEAH DON'T KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO. NOTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO EVERYDAY. It makes me go so damn crazy you don't even know. I don't even know how i manage to drag myself to school everyday. I have been thinking how I pulled through school for the past year. Well Sem1 was probably Shafiq and Afiq since we hang out almost everyday and stuff. Then Sem2 was hip hop because yeah I enjoyed it so much.... Now? NOW WHAT? Bleh I don't know just keel me now there's school tomorrow.

BLEH

You guys had no idea how sad I was for the whole 22hours of my birthday. Lets start from the morning. (which is 12am) 

People whom I was waiting to wish me took so long to wish me. Yes there were afew that made my night but then there were those whom didnt wish me even though I waited. Sigh this sadness. 

Slept through the night and went to school feeling sleepy as hell. No one wished me happy birthday.... Oh well must be because they kinda "sang" it on Monday when Andrea bought 2 cakes for me and jingwen and everyone only sang for jingwen and forget about me (EXCEPT ANDREA and Luv). Cheh whatever. Didnt do well in Ballet and contemp wasn't that though so I pulled through.

After school ended we had our crew practice again. Just when I was about to put in my whole heart inside, Afiq decide to change things and make weird formations. It made me cray cray.... Sigh must be my menses that was controlling my mood. LOL oh well life was obviously miserable for like 3 hours until I decided to go off. I felt like there was no point staying if I was so not committed and nothing was getting into my head. Steps la formations whatever nonsense la. Just when i left school, Andrea told me she and Shafiq were initially gonna surprise me.. Gawd what on earth I totally didnt know and upon recieving her text i just broke down on the streets. Now that I think of it I really don't know why I cried at that time. Maybe because I felt like it totally wasn't my birthday at all and that message made me happy and sad at the same time IDK LA. Emotional me is emotional. 

Went to get Kayte's cake and find her. I was standing outside Danzpeople for so long thinking if I should just give kayte her cake and then go back to the studio to practice for the competition. I felt so bloody bad I just left like this. I am the black hole out of the crew and I still don't wanna go for practice -claps for myself- Think so long......... & I decided to just go for her class still.. lol. I was hoping it'd give me some happiness or like motivation or what. Kinda told her how I felt about this whole competition thing going on and stuff before class. Her words kinda gave me a little hope and power. Her class gave me even more strength to go back to the studio and make sure I get everything right. "I know I'm not that bad I just have to trust myself." I keep telling myself before entering the studio. 

So happy that it was a fruitful 1.5hour practice and I did get something out of the practice. Left immediately after that and felt really awkward because I didn't even hug anyone goodbye. I was so mad and sad and bleh wanted to just sleep my birthday away. Mummy fetched me home.

Went up to my room and had the shock of my life. Liqian and Yvonne were standing behind my door with a cake an a video camera. I was lost for words all I could do was break down in tears while everyone sang the birthday song to me... Just when I thought I was gonna end my birthday on a bad note. Just when I thought this year was gonna be the worst birthday ever...... Cried for so long I was just like WHY DID YOU MAKE ME CRY WHYYYYYY T_T Really so happy so so happy that they were there. Like it was so unexpected I don't even know what to say. I just felt so thankful that god have me them as friends. They stayed till 12 and left. Sigh best 1.5hours of my life ever. I will never ever forget this beautiful memory you guys just left in my memory "book".

Went to school the next day and yeah normal school...... Bleh almost fell asleep on the barre again... What's new. Had crew rehearsal again. I was so into remembering my steps that I didn't even know there was so much tension going on in the room. Goodness. Went to buy fried rice but the fried rice never ever came. I was so freaking mad at the people I almost threw a chair at all their faces. Argh. Went to buy subway instead and ate in the studio. Listened to Irwin talk about his "ghost" "spirit" stories and stuff like that. He's so funny. But i was actually scared cuz yeah i'm a coward... I'm scared of such stuff LOL (and 7th month is near.) Andrea and Shafiq disappeared for soooo long. So many awkward moments today I can't even. I don't like this feeling of having to side someone ok. Especially when I'm like the kind who's so in the middle YAW. -peace-  Don't like don't like don't like. Awkward walk to the mrt, awkward mrt ride, awkward awkward awkward. -plays cricket sound-

While I was stoning on my phone screen I recieved a phone call from the most unexpected person ever; Shafiq. Such an emotional 40 minute call ohmygod. If only I could like send some warmth through the phone to him. He sounded so sad and broken and I didn't know what I could do. I was so shocked at some of the things he said because it was untrue and what not.... Shafiq if you're reading this, you're special to me. Don't ever feel like you're not. You were and you still are. 

Thurs and fri were just more school and more rehearsals... Woke up late on both days. Gah really lacked of sleep cuz of my tired body and tired mind. Every part of me was just tired. Wasn't doing well emotionally at all. So definitely affected my status in class. Even in hip hop. Was practically dancing like a stone. Lol. 

Friday was the competition. I was just psychoing myself the whole day that I could do it even though the chances of getting into the next round was minimal. Went to school at 12 to prepared and stuff. On the way to the venue, received a text saying that the venue was changed due to bad weather. Thankfully there was a bus to wherever we were supposed to go at the bus stop that we stopped. Haha Zen was on the same bus as us!!!!

Alright when I saw the contestants I knew the chances were even lower. Haha... At least half of them were experienced and good crews. After we performed, we just sat outside and watched the other crews. I really wish I was as good as them.. You know really. That's where I wanna be :( Oh well. Zen was awesome pawsome go Zenzen!  

Had dinner at the Safra with crew members and Andrea, Shafiq and Irwin. Wasn't very appetizing to me bleh. Got lost cuz we couldn't find our way to the MRT.. gosh. 

Spent my Sunday afternoon with my family and TBG at night!!!!! So I went to Suntec a convention centre and was lost. I didn't know where I should go or what. I reached at exactly 6.30. Kayte told me to meet her at 6.30! So I waited outside the theatre for like 30min AND I STILL DIDN'T SEE HER. Everyone was with big groups and I was probably the only one standing alone at that point of time. Super intimidated by the crowd. Guess what!? It turned out that she was beside me eating on the floor with Alif and company. I was being blocked by this couple so I couldn't see her. LOL GOSH -BANGS HEAD ON AN INVISIBLE WALL-

Afiq and his gf(I think?) came just in time to break fast. Haha so they broke fast first before entering. When we entered.. Kayte realized she lost her phone. Throughout the whole show all I could think of was her phone ._. Well everyone felt the same actually. Afiq was trying to he the lost iPhone app to track her phone. After the show we went around hunting for her phone. LOL like detectives.. But to no avail. It was obvious that someone was holding the phone because that person kept rejecting my calls. Gosh.... Gave up in the end. If I didn't had school the next day I would've went to supper with them :'( Boo

BUT TBG WAS SPECTACULAR!!!! I LOVE THEM ALL ESPECIALLY OCREW QUICKCREW JINJO CREW AND CHOREO COOKIES!!!!! They were so good and so inspiring I love you babies hehehehee. Jinjo crew passed by us while they were going home and I was like WHEEEE & Afiq had the same reaction as me HAHA!!! But... We were busy looking for kayte's phone so we only "wheee-ed" for a split second. 

Had school on Monday as usual. I was actually quite hardworking for the whole day, until improv when I accidentally pulled a muscle. I didn't warm up and the moves were very intense. AND PIAK. It was hurting a lot for awhile and then it became less painful, Went back home after that. Changed and went for Kayte's basic groove class with the usual peeps. Afiq Sherman Alif Junior hoho. Basic groove class is forever so fun I just like it. You don't need to stress about the choreo you just need to enjoy the music and groove. Yay it's even more fun now that I have officially made friends with Afiq and company. Hehehe yay!!! Had a small chat with Kayte about epic. I told her that the results weren't out and there was a very small chance of us getting in. Then she gave me a small pep talk and yeah it was very true. Yehhhh. Can't wait for Friday till I see them again!!!! :) 

Yup we didn't make it to the next round. Haha for me it was an expected answer so I wasn't disappointed. Plus I already knew we probably wouldn't make it in because the other crews have so much more experience, basics and dynamics than us. We didn't have the competitive element, like what Andrea said to us. If it was a performance, it would be not bad. But for a competition, standards are like so high.... Plus I know I could've done so much better.... Feeling this tinge of guiltiness because I was the least committed one out of the 4 of them. During rehearsals most of the time, nothing was getting into my head till the very last minute. Oh well I've gained experience at least. I know what's it like to compete now and I really wouldn't mind doing it again. WHEN WE HAVE MORE TIME... 

Went to school today looking like a zombie. Zoned out during ballet, what's new. I just wanted to hug my bolster so bad for the whole day. Slept during the remaining lunch break but that didn't really woke me up. My thigh hurt so badly. Whole day trying to not use that muscle hoping the pain would go away. Fat hope ah. It was the same move during improv that made the pain come back. 

Slacked at the frass for like 2hours and went home. Yay!!! It's currently 8pm only!!! So happy. I'm gonna catch up with my shows right now GOODBYE LADYBIRDS LESS THAN A WEEK TILL SCHOOL NOT SO HAPPY BLEH 

Sigh I don't wanna grow up. Haha.... Really la, what a stupid idea. Why did we wanna grow up so badly when we were younger?! 

Gosh. I've been hearing old national day songs and it brought back so much childhood memories. Like those kindergarten days where we'd sing our national day songs freely and soulfully without worrying being judged. All we had to do was enjoy the companion of your friends teachers and family. Then moving on to primary school, we'd practice singing new theme songs and then making fun of the lyrics of the old national day songs just for joy and laughter. 

I miss it :'( I miss being a kid... I miss not having to think of anything but homework and grades. I miss playing catching and running all over the school. I miss primary school so much it hurts. Yeah you guys must think I'm crazy cuz most people would miss secondary school more than primary yeah. Nah I feel like I was more myself when I was in primary school. I didn't even need to think who hated me or who liked me. All I ever look forward to was recess, catching with my best buds, making fun of guys, passing notes in class, copying homework late minute from friends, comparing grades with Dennis.... 

When the bell rings for recess, me and my primary school group would be the first to run out of class and to the basketball court. Whoever was the last to reach would be the catcher. LOL yeah we don't eat during recess everyday. While others were playing soccer and basketball, we just ran across all of them with all our might just to not get caught. Those pure and innocent days....... I MISS THIS SO MUCH OMG BIG SHOUT OUT TO CRYSTAL CHARMAINE TRUDY CHOOLIN DENNIS YIJIAN NATHALIE SEBASTIAN JONATHAN I WILL NEVER EVER IN MY LIFE FORGET YOU GUYS NEVER. 

My memory's so good i can remember things happened as old as 15 years ago. Yeah like how I cried nonstop everyday when my parents dropped me off at the childcare centre even though I knew Fion(Lee) was there. BUT WE WERE IN DIFFERENT CLASSES that's why I was so sad. & I still remember this one time when it was naptime, AND I WAS THE ONLY STUPID KID THAT OVERSLEPT. Like everyone else were eating their teabreak and i was still there lying on my baby mattress..... LOL sigh shan once a pig, always a pig... HAHA please don't find me weird for remembering details on things that happened 15 years ago. I'm not weird, my memory's just super good when it comes to things like this. 

I wanna know how my 2 kindergarten best friends are doing but I just can't seem to find them on social networking sites WHICH IS SO BLOODY WEIRD. Argh...... Everytime I reminisce bout the past, I think of both of them because they were part of my life but I just can't seem to contact them!!! Sigh..... No I'm not weird I still contact my kindergarten friends because apparently, coincidences happen especially to me. Met some of them in primary school and we still keep in contact till now. We had so much memories in kindergarten..... Still so vivid in my mind. :'( I did bumped into one of them on the street before.. I WAS SO SHOCKED I couldn't even say hi because I was in the car T_T OH JOO EE AND BENJAMIN WU JIA QI, WHERE ON EARTH ARE YOU I CAN'T FIND YOU EVEN THOUGH SINGAPORE'S SO BLOODY SMALL!!!! 

ALRIGHT enough of nostalgia back to reality. (Actually that part up there was written like 2 days ago just so you know LOL)

Had first day of school today. Not officially but still.... Had like 3 hours of contemp sigh what is life. Slacked on the frass and then fell asleep. Andrea had a mini celebration for me and Jingwen's birthday. Well didnt really work out for me cuz only Andrea and hm Luvenia sang the birthday song to me too. AIYA it was even my birthday yet.. So didnt feel anything hm whoops lol. Cuz i wasnt the star. But still thankful. 

Sigh had a long tiring day.. Stayed in school for comp rehearsals till about 10. Lol I was obviously not as committed as the rest. I literally gave up on myself after 9pm. What should i do? I really don't know how I'm supposed to get through this. Peer pressure much? Lol I'm just such a person... You have to accept that I dont put myself first in priority and my decisions are always based on the people around me.... Sigh :'( 

Had a tough night honestly and even though I felt touched that Shafiq came to console me but I was too like bleh to even respond. Ha what's new right I'm Shanette. 

Thankful that mummy fetched me from school. She didnt really make me feel better in any way but at times like this I was glad I didn't have to go home alone. Went home and found out that my online shopping parcels HAVE YET TO ARRIVE. & it has been like 2 weeks I got so pissed off I ended up crying. Fml menses making my mood go crazy. & this was just afew hours before my birthday. Saddest pre-birthday night ever. 

The thought of ballet first thing tomorrow morning doesn't help my mood at all. Gosh but I felt happy when Dennis tweeted me ohmygod. Just when I was reminiscing 2 days ago about my pri sch life and my catching buddies, he talked to me. He even wished me happy birthday in such a sincere way I can't even comprehend how different he has become. I swore I stared at the message for so long and laughed. & I was happy he remembers things from so long ago. HAHA DENNIS YEO GOOD OLD TIMES LA SIGH HAHA. Just thinking of it makes me smile. Yes don't find me weird again I remember very clearly when I was 10 he gave me his first birthday present. GUESS WHAT IT WAS?! SESAME STREET STATIONARY SET JESUS CHRIST HAHAHA. Omg old friends are hard to forget really :) Yayyers~ 

& I probably just had the longest social network chat with Shafiq. Gosh break record man really but yeah.. Why so sweet oh man he made me teared twice in less than 5 hours alamak. Aiya it's just me. I get touched too easily. Cheh heart too soft, someone needs to teach me how to harden my heart. 

Also I felt a teeny weeny bit of happiness when I saw that Jonas remembered my birthday. Alright that's it for tonight. Thank you guys I really appreciate thoughts too much, sometimes abit exaggerating ah me but yeah I really mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say thank you. 

So I guess I'm gonna spend my birthday in school.. Ohwell... Goodnight people happy birthday to me.

Last week of holidays

Jesus christ I didn't even know that I haven't blogged for a week now!!! LOL well I was addicted to temple run. Like literally. My score's only like 6mil YEAH DON'T JUDGE DAMMIT I'm trying hard... 

Felt not so good after Monday's night class because of one damn hip hop move that I can't get until now. It's called the Reject. I feel like I can do it. BUT when I do, my legs get retarded and they start trippin on themselves. It doesn't listen to me!!!! Sigh tried so hard for the whole lesson. Worst part was I think I was the only one who couldn't get it even after Kayte broke it down like 100000 times for me. T_T Boohoo went home feeling not so good but Kayte's encouraging words made me felt better... Thankful!! <3 

Tuesday we had our first crew rehearsal. Omg it was like a saga of my Monday blues. I felt so useless during rehearsal. We were supposed to choreograph afew eights for the competition. But I couldn't come up with anything. Jingwen, Afiq(LASALLE) and Ruishan's steps were so fast and complicated it made my brain go crazy. Like really. Thank god it ended and I went home dreading the next day with the thought that I had to come up with my 4 eights within the night because rehearsal would be in the morning. Apparently they switched it to the night because most of them wanted night time. But I couldn't make it cuz I was supposed to meet Kayte and the other dancers at SOM to support Alif's class over there.

Reached alittle early so I went to pay for the class first. Class was supposed to start at 7.30 but they pushed it back to 8 because Alif was fasting. Kayte, Afiq(Danzpeople) and Alif came like a minute after I paid for class. So we just sat inside and chill. She told me to join her recital piece next year. GURL I'M SO GONNA JOIN?! HAHA. SOM's so cold!!! It reminded me of those days were we stepped into studio D and froze like mad during PP everyday in Sem 1.

Alif's class was dope!! On top of that he is also a very nice person!!! He came to thank each student personally aw :') He even said I was good (WHEN I'M NOT but it's ok. Alif go go).. I really enjoyed myself there, totally didn't regret walking that long but not so long distance from Newton MRT to Balmoral Plaza. I really think he deserves more students!!!! It's not as fierce and aggressive as you think it is~ After class, I watched the Blaqueneez duo practice for their Gshock competition that's gonna be on tomorrow. Steps wise, very simple. But their character very on and that makes the whole thing look so cool. I really sat there for the whole 15minutes in awe. They were not doing full out yet they could still make me look at them for like 15minutes straight without looking away. Gosh~ Blaqueneez is swag, swag is Blaqueneez.

Had dinner/supper at Newton Circus with the whole group of people. The only person I knew there was actually just Kayte. Afiq and Zen were just dancers that I always see at Danzpeople, and Alif of course. Happy I got to know her better~ Muahaha (Saw that she saved my contact as shanshan LOL!!!!!! She and her shanshan omg~) Ate my hokkien mee as I listened to them experienced competitors talk about dance politics. As a dancer there are so many things that I don't know gosh T_T Like I am not exposed enough to the genre that I am very extremely interested in and THAT IS NOT GOOD. I need to keep up my game seriously man seriously. 

Left the place and managed to catch the last train home. Nah not really. I trained to dhoby and it was too late to take the purple line so i cabbed home instead. Lol... 

Reached home, choreographed a tiny little bit and went to sleep. 

Woke up at 8.30 this morning. Met Yvonne at Vivo at 10.30. Haha we went to RWS!!! Went to the aquarium there. Alright there's not much difference to the one I saw at HK but yeah all aquariums are the same anyway. I swear we were so lost like we were real tourists.. Haha. We spent so long doing this clay thingy outside the entrance of the aquarium. This was our first try because we didn't know what to do.

HAHA SO PATHETIC. We auctioned it and only manage to worth $28! SO PATHETIC. So we tried again. This time we knew we could shape the clay etc..

This.... got $89.. OMG PATHETIC!!!!! We saw other pictures. One was like $289. LOL MUST BE THE RAINBOW. The rainbow was such a bad idea but it was so cute so we didn't wanna take it out. AH WHATEVER WE ARE NO ARTSY STUDENTS. We da DNT students... HAHA Oh yeah Yvonne was my DNT partner :B 

Spent about 3hours there and then we had lunch at the Malaysian Street Food area. Decided to go to the beach because there wasn't much to do anymore. Slacked there till about 4ish.. We felt so sleepy because of the wind and the bright sky!! Gosh it was such a laughing day. I laughed so much my tummy hurts. 

Dance the whole day tomorrow again :) Heh.... Last weekday of my holiday. Sigh I'm going to need to say hello to school once again. No i'm not prepared T_T

Me want to sleep

Hehoha I'm very sleepy now but I figured I should just blog and finish up with the latest i can hear your voice episode.

Fell super ill on Thursday night. I literally went to sleep at like 9 that day praying that I'd miraculously wake up feeling super energetic. Guess what time I woke up... 1 in the morning -.- Fak. I woke up and I felt my temperature went up. Goodness gracious. I fell back to sleep again. Woke up at 2.30 and temperature was still very high.. Couldn't sleep till about 4ish 5. I went to the kitchen to look for fever meds and took it. So i sweated like alot in the dawn. Apparently the sweat made my temperature go down!!! After my bath even though i still felt abit feverish but it was so much better!!!!! Went for class at night and it was awesome~ The kind of passion people put into dance there just makes me feel so waaaaah. I really wanna know why I feel so different when i dance in LASALLE and when I'm at danzpeople. Yeah I get that I'm more comfortable doing hip hop and st jazz and whatever but there are still times when I don't get steps and groove and stuff too. I don't find myself getting stressed and depressed over it, as I would in LASALLE.

Slept at 5 last night and woke up at 10.30 this morning... Gosh like a zombie. It was danzpeople's openhouse today! Freaking 10 bucks for like so many classes. Went for XT's class with Liqian~ I always thought he was scary. Like everytime I go to the studio early, he'd be siting there using his laptop and giving me THE stare.. LOL but after his class today I found out that he's actually a funny guy hahahaha. Plus his voice always out of tune HAHA omg hilarious dude. Claudia was there too so I introduced Liqian to her. Well well well apparently they are from the same course except Claudia's her senior. What in the world. 

Wanted to go for Toby's kpop but hmm I don't know why I didn't. I liked the song he used T_T I just stood outside and watch them dance. Well I learnt too, while watching :B Kayte's class was awesome as usual~~~~~ So funny she calls me shanshan?!?! LOLLLL ohmagad how did this happen so random... It started off with shanette, then shan, then shanshan?' hahahaha so cute please so cute. & she has her tune of saying shanshan. Omg I have this thing where I'll remember how people say a certain word. Like different people say it differently. hmm yehyeh I'm weird LOL.  

Didn't eat the whole day. Felt so good when I know I could finally eat!!! We reached this place called Bangkok Jam at Plaza sing. The food took quite awhile to come and the service was so slow. Argh but I guess it was worth the wait because the food's really good!!! I'm totally going back there. Oh just so you know, you have to go off peak hours if not there will definitely be no seats for yaaa. Ate and talked and yeah. So many times I wish my clique and I are all in the same school :( Just probably majoring in different things. Boo sigh meeting up is so hard

Because I went for XT's class today, it got me reminded that I wouldn't have hip hop in year 2... Sigh what is life man what is life. XT would be the replacement of Mycs. & sigh year 2s gonna feel left out as shit because year 1 and year 3's gonna have hip hop.. Only us T_T no hip hop.. Omg year 2 is just in a week's time. But I know time will fly past very fast. Soon it'll be December holidays already!!! School haven't even start but I already can't wait for it to end. Lol. Goodnight guys

Having fun

Alright I dont remember what i did during the weekends so let's skip that part of my life away. Oh wait. I think I just spent my Sunday watching "Love, now". LOL Initially I didn't wanna watch because it is 72episodes long and the description of the show felt similar to "The Scent of a woman". I still watched because I have nothing else to do lol and turns out its actually quite different!!!!! I freaking freaking love the first 4 episodes. Like just watch the first 4 episodes you wont regret. You'll probably cringe like mad at it's cheesiness but after awhile you'll be alright I guarantee you that.

Sigh I have been staying up till like 3 4 5 in the morning so I've been waking up at like 12 1 2 in the afternoon. Spent my afternoon on TV again and then went to school to like you know, dance. Haha studio's like my second home. Went for groove lesson at night and it was ahmazing. I finally felt cool while doing the dougie. FIRST TIME EVER. Haha and some other new school grooves. Yesterday's class had more guys than girls (WOW). There is this thing where the teacher will select people to dance at the end of the lesson. I have never ever been selected in my life. Like alright once when I went to Bryan's lesson BUT i still end up screwing it up lol. Ever since i went to her class, ever since i danced beside that awesome Blaqueneez dancer, my goal is to let Kayte select me! Abit out ah since all the chosen ones were REALLY good.. Everytime after a class, I feel this tinge of sadness when she doesn't pick me BUT of course it makes me work harder. Yesterday was the first time she picked me. But I don't think it was because I was good though. Plus she kinda picked like 5/6 other people. & there wasnt ALOT of people yesterday. (If you've been to her class you'll know her class is always super packed. So yesterday was only slightly more than half her usual number) BETTER THAN NOT GETTING PICKED so I was so happy. Hehe.

I couldn't sleep last night as usual. I don't even remember what I did for the whole night. I only went to sleep at like 5am wadahell. Thankfully managed to wake up before 12 but then I was still late in meeting Afiq Shafiq Andrea and Jingwen. Guess what caused me to be late? NONE OTHER THAN THE RAIN. I tell you.. I have the lousiest luck when it comes to the weather. Gosh.

Ate at Justacia and stayed there for almost 2hours. Went back to school and that's when my dance marathon started. Andrea taught us the choreo that she learnt from AnAn many weeks ago. It's simple but it's awesome :) Then we kinda rested for awhile and Afiq taught us a choreo done by Ruishan if i'm not wrong. Super cool. The song itself is super awesome. I have come to a conclusion that I'm never ever good at hanging out in groups. Yes even with the people that are close to me, that includes my clique. I don't know I just don't really like hanging out in groups. Lol I feel more comfortable hanging out with just 1 person. Gah ha I know right I'm weird.

After that Afiq and Shafiq had to FOH for a show so they left. Me and Jingwen left too because we were going to danzpeople!!! Guess who we saw?!?!! Rosanne and Meta!!! Hahaha when we were at the escalator Rosanne came running to us omg so cute. They were also going to Kayte's class! Yay! Kayte retaught her reggae choreo but added on some more steps at the back. ALL OF A SUDDEN I COULD DO IT. (Paiseh to admit but i never even practiced at all because it made me depressed) So amazed with myself how the heck did I do it HAHA. The best part has yet to arrive . . . . . .

I GOT SELECTED BY KAYTE AGAIN!!!! This time she only selected 2 people. JESUS CHRIST I WAS SO SHOCKED AND SHE RECORDED IT. RECORDEDDDDDD!!! Heh I know it's just something very small and all but still, in a class of maybe 20/30 people I got selected. Guys it means something to me k. Achievement. I've never ever been selected ok never. :')

I was so tired after her class I wanted to just sit down and rest. But Andreas already started his class and Ida made me go to his class again. Gah it was so tiring. Andreas' choreo today had floorwork!!!! My poor toe. I think it's not gonna recover anytime soon. Sobs and school is gonna start in like less than 2 weeks. This is so not good. I really don't know why his thigh muscles are so DAMN strong. It's so skinny and long yet so damn powerful. I can seriously say his legs are the strongest I have seen.

Went back to school after that. First thing Jingwen did was tell me that we're gonna participate in a street dance competition. HOLY SHIET. I had a mix of reactions. I was super happy then super worried then super stressed. I suck at choreographing.. & the time given is not so much. We don't have alot of time either. I'm so sad I need to sacrifice dance classes for this. My mood swung so fast just now I can't even.. Then just when I thought school ends at 3 on my birthday... Now I have to stay back for rehearsal for this competition. Birthday also sacrifice. Wa my life. Alright I didn't even know why i was feeling sad cuz I cannot celebrate my birthday. Lol. I mean I didn't even had any plans to begin with. :'( Bleh.. Oh no I swear I feel too attached to danzpeople what should I do. But going there makes me happy haiyo.

Went home with Afiq and had a small talk with him. YOU see. I open my mouth once I'm with a single person but in a group... Nah i can't be bothered lol. Well he made me feel a tad more excited and assured about the competition. Hehe I forgotten he was the dance captain of PP.... Omg strict Afiq will be back in action. Plus Ruishan. Alright I'm ready for this. (hopefully hmmm schedule wise still very bleh)

Right now I'm having a terrible tummyache and a terrible headache. Where did the headache come from goodness gracious. I'm gonna probably spend my Wednesday at home again ha alright. Time to watch some shows. Goodbye

This week

Aloha~

So I've bought the unlimited package for danzpeople. I figured since it's so hard to ask people out cuz they have school and work.... I might as well just dance. Lol... Even asking people to go dance is like asking them for their lives. I give up. I'm just gonna get out of my comfort zone and go myself!!!!! It's fun anyway!!

Went for basic groove again and phew I ached like mad. LOL I was just like SOMEBODY HELP ME. You know it's easier to dance steps out than to dance when it is broken down into simpler steps right? It takes more control and more energy. Kayte broke it down so much because for some reason so many of them couldn't get it.... This regular girl and this regular guy that I always see and me, were suffering like mad because we got it so we just kept doing it while everyone else was figuring out. Great workout i swear. Basic groove is basic groove but you sweat 10x more than a normal class.

Tuesday was a not so good day for me... Hmmm don't know probably just my emotions taking over me again as usual. Went for Kayte's girls hip hop but she ended up teaching Reggae. Sigh my life i suck so bad at reggae. I get the steps and all and then i forget again. Kept going through that whole process throughout class and i felt so annoyed with myself. Worse was when Andreas was standing there staring at the class and I just HAD to forget all my steps. Oh my god. Went for Andreas class next because IDA sabo-ed me.. Wanted to go home cuz I was tired and my toe was hurting like shit.. But i was like AIYA unlimited package anyway just go and die in the class la. So yup even though Andreas' steps were like the same and stuff, I still ached like mad. Gosh he used too much quads i cant even.... Until today it's still aching like crazy.... & IM GOING TO DANCE TOMORROW. I am d e a d.

Wednesday I felt sleepy.. Met Yvonne at Nex for lunch and then she came over to my house for a supposedly movie marathon. Apparently it failed because the laptop was giving us so much problems and my attention span was too short. I just couldn't help but felt like sleeping. So we stopped watching movies and ended up watching youtube videos. SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING PLEASE. Haha I'm such a youtube person i'm sorry. I only watch movies in theatres and dramas online. Movies online...... I can't be bothered I always end up fast forwarding it. Weird right i know..

Yup. Thursday was... SLEEPY TOO boo. I always can't find the things that I want. Sigh had lunch at Nex and then went to dhoby and somerset to hunt for shoes but I couldn't find so i gave up and went to Yishun to find Jai and Yvonne. Spent like an hour in the library. Then we went to watch The Heat. Haha comedy it was interesting. 

Went home and time flew so now it's 2.46am and i'm still up. Dang it i should sleep goodnight

My sad life

So Friday I spent my afternoon watching 'I can hear your voice'. Wheeeeeee alright went to danzpeople for Kayte's class. It was awesome!!!!! I loved the class' energy and whats more was that i was dancing beside a Blaqueneez member. Gah she's freaking amazing T_T Went to meet Yvonne and Jai at Serangoon garden.... Sudden mood change happened to me. Worst thing was we couldn't find seats at Chomp chomp. We waited so long for this stupid couple to get out of the seat after lepaking for so long. BUT THEN THIS STUPID UNCLE...... He just ran infront of us and took the seats. PAK YOU... Went to another place to eat and slack there. Didn't really talk much because EH I DONT KNOW WHY. My mind was somewhere else.... Yvonne's dad fetched us home. Haha thankful

The next day, supposed to meet Yvonne and Jai at YCK stadium at 10..... But i woke up at 9.30!!! LOL gah i knew i would wake up late. Reached at 10.45am and saw Vasu!!! Wheeeee it's been so long!! Hehe sat and rot at the stadium for 6 whole hours okay.... Thank god there was a freaking cute guy to keep me alive for the 6 hours. Oh well went to Thomson to have dinner. Saw Joie and her bf at Salted Caramel!!!! So much coincidence because I saw her bf at the match!!! LOL so apparently her bf is in the same school as cute guy. CUTE GUY IS ATTACHED T_T Sigh this sadness.... My life sucks man really.. First a younger guy, now an attached guy. STUPIAK you guys go bang the wall. NAO.

I was so dead and tired the whole day..... Wanted to go home so bad after reaching AMK. But Dad texted me and ask me to go Serangoon garden because he was there. Ohmagad i ended up drinking 4 bottles of beer. Dafak.... I was shocked to have met one of the pioneers of SDT. He showed me his past photos AND HE WAS SOOOO HANDSOME I COULDNT DENY IT. He actually still looks kinda young now BUT he didn't dye his hair so it's all white and all... Omg it felt so good to be able to talk to a fatherly person about dance. I can feel his burning passion for it. So sad that he married a woman that dislike dance so much. Though i dont know her, i dislike her too lol wtf. How can she do that. If i marry someone who stops me from pursuing my dreams ah, i'm gonna commit suicide. 

Went home and told my mother about him and the cute guy i met earlier at the stadium. I somehow used that time to catch up with my mother. My dad really mad he keeps thinking i'm drunk. Made me mad. He kept telling me to go sleep go sleep. OH DUDE LOOK WHO'S DRUNK gawd. I still remember what i told my mother and all that sort of shit. If i was drunk I would've conked out immediately please. How can still remember things and stay up late. Siao. I really hate how people assume that one can't drink just because they don't drink often. "Eh you drunk already la eh you don't know how to drink la eh you don't drink so much la" EH YOU ALL SHUT UP LA I KNOW MY LIMITS. -.- All these assumptions PLZ. & then those who tell me "eh you not legal la" KANASAI who the heck cares about the legal age now you tell me. YOU TELL ME. Talking about this makes me boil so i shall not continue further.

Spent my Sunday at home. Had dinner at Thomson again LOL. Reached home and continued watching the chinese version of You're beautiful.... It's so awkward. I don't like it honestly. BUT Hwang In Deok is so my type I had to watch it :( There's Jiro too..... So.... Oh well for kill time's sake. Sigh i really watch shows too fast... How the hell. I can finish like one whole series in a day. Now I have to continue waiting for the next 8 episodes of I can hear your voice and the other 8 episodes for Fabulous boys. Boooooo I'm probably gonna start on Taem's wgm but i watch WGM like a jetplane because it's so short!!!!! I should wait for even more episodes to be out bleh. 

BLEH goodbye people time to dance