Bleh

Hi everybody.

Woke up this morning (wait, i meant afternoon) and it was already a bad start of a day. After i bathed, put on my clothes, and wore my belt, i realised how loose my belt has gotten after wearing it so many times. It was irritating me. Nina, one of my maids, was stomping around the house like an elephant and it was pissing me off even further. 2 hours before I went out, i realised my EZlink was lost, AGAIN. It was definite that i lost it at home, because i didnt bring it out at all for the past few days since i was at home. I asked Nina if she saw it because most of the time, she cleans my room and arranges my stuff. All she needed to say was "No i didnt see it." or "Yes, it's there/here/wherever it is." Instead, she gave me all sorts of crap excuses to make it seem like i lost it on purpose and it's not her fucking fault. WHAT THE HELL? Her voice annoys the hell outta me and seriously, SHE SHOULD JUST STOP TALKING SO MUCH.

My mom knew I lost my EZlink and saw Nina trying to help me find my card. When i stepped out of my room, she came nagging crap at me saying how i always misplace my things and how i always ask Nina to find it out for me. NO I don't always ask her for help BECAUSE SHE IS ALWAYS OF NO HELP. All these shit just spoilt my early afternoon plus the weather wasnt helping much either. It was pouring cats and dogs and when i was about to go out, it stopped, causing the entire estate to feel so humid ARGH.

Reached Orchard around 3pm. Met Geraldine there to watch Woman in Black at Lido. There were only 2 timeslots available; 3.20pm & 7.20pm. We were thinking if we should eat first or watch the movie first because when we were buying tickets, it was already 3.20pm. So we decided to catch the 7.20pm show and went to Heeren's Jack's Place to have lunch/dinner.

Talk a whole lot over there and walked around Somerset area till the movie time neared. I drank Coffee Bean and THEN, Gongcha. Wtf I can't believe myself. This whole week is such a fucking sinful week. I don't even dare to look at the weighing machine right now. I'm so desperate to slim down. AND I HATE IT. Because the more desperate i am, the more stress i get. The more stress i get, the more depressed i am. The more depressed i am, THE MORE I EAT.

After the movie, was supposed to meet Jonas cuz Geraldine was supposed to meet him, but cancelled. Nahz i've got no fate with this dude so..... Whatever~ Went home instead.

Mother came to pick me up. She got so fucking irritating in the car. Seriously can't she just cool down and have some chillax time with me? I've got so many things to tell her but because she can't control her PMS/pre-menopause shitass attitude, i decided to shut up and let her scold. Sometimes i really think she doesn't know how to appreciate me. Hence, the idea of going overseas to study so she'll keep missing me and when i'm back home, she'll not pick up a fight with me and treat me better. Argh. If i do well for my dance diploma, i might just consider going overseas to get my degree. Who gives a fucking shit about Singapore. Bloody sickening place. 

So, i've been thinking about what i'm gonna do the next 5 months. Yes i plan to work. I've just submitted a job application and hopefully i get that job. I need the money. I just spent so much today, ON FOOD WTF? I hate spending money on food god.

As for fun, i'll wait till June. If i'm not wrong, i'm heading to the US during the first week of June. Hopefully, i get to go Korea after my US trip. I. WANNA. GO. KOREA. DAMN. IT. I need to see my ideal man. I'm gonna stalk the hell outta him. I'm still thinking about it. Sigh i need people to go with me. But June is peak period and the plane ticket is so expensive. So i was thinking if i should go in July. Hmmmm i should consider asking that dance friend i made in Lasalle to go with me, since she's also having like holiday. Also, Alexander Lee Eusebio is coming Singapore in July. FINALLY. Somebody heavenly that i like is coming to town. Heh i'm trying to make myself look forward to things, so i won't wake up everyday thinking "Why am i awake? There's nothing to do. Let me just die."

I'm gonna pick up Ballet lessons too. & i'm considering Yoga LOL..... Keep fit keep fit keep fit.

Must slim down.

Must not eat rice.

Must not eat oily food.

Must not drink gasy drinks.

Must not always eat fast food.

MUST EAT VEGETABLES.

LIKE MY IDEAL MAN.

Shocker

App used: Camera360 Effect: Sweet
IT MADE ME LOOK SO FLAWLESS IT'S SO NICE. :( How i wished my skin could be like that...

Wassup babies I'm here once again~

I slept at 5am yesterday, talking to some idiot who told me to sleep early but gave me a freaking long acronym that i totally couldn't guess out.

"TTYWIMAAK?" = "To Talk You When IM Awake Again Ok?"  

I forgive him, since he gave me such cute reasons why that long acronym. LOL.

 

Then i woke up at 10am, replying messages and stuff like that. Out of the blue, an unknown number called. I've been getting too many unknown numbers lately it's getting annoying. So I ignored it. After 30minutes, it called again, my voice was kinda clear by then, so i decided to answer it. 

Person: Hello?
Me: Uh huh?

Person: Are you Shanette?

Me: Uh huh...?

Person: Oh oh why you sound so sian? -chuckles-

(What a stupid question. Call so early, of course i'm tired right. Plus i didn't know who the heck he was.)

Me: Er.... Hah.

Person: I'm from Recruit Express... ...

Ok i got it. It was a recruiter. Throughout the whole conversation he sounded like he knew me and i'm like oh my god it's getting so gay. If someone gives you a job and asks you to start the next day, obviously you would need like some time to think if you want the job right, unless you're freaking desperate for a job la that is. What the hell, everything was so sudden. Plus it was in the morning, my head couldnt think straight yet.

Me: Erm can you give me some time to think about it?

Person: Oh okay. How long do you need? I need your answer ASAP leh...

Me: Yeah can. Give me a time.

Person: Oh i give you time ah? 30minutes!

Me: Wtf don't play la.

Person: What? NO i'm not playing. Ok seriously why do you need time? What's there to think??? About your friend? (I told him i got orientation the next week so i couldnt start work tomorrow.)

Me: Uh no. I just need to think la!

Person: Noooooooo no need to think. Ok ok you talk to me. Tell me what you thinking.

Me: ER.................

Person: -continues blabbering-

I ended up accepting the so called pathetic job offer he offered me because of his annoyance. Quickly bathed and everything. Told my mom about it. She offered to fetch me to Bishan. But on my way there, i was thinking about torturing it is to stand in a freaking shop for 9 hours. So i just texted that guy and said i didn't want the job. He ended up spamming me so many calls and giving me text messages like "Shanette. Please call me back. I'll explain everything to you." "Shanette. Please call me back after you've seen this. There's no point ignoring my calls." GOD HOW FREAKY IS THAT.

Ok, so i didnt go Bishan. Went to ICA instead to collect my long lost IC. I finally have my IC again!! So glad, really. Then headed to Nex's Watsons to get some neccessities. They were having big sales and promotions and the queue there was INSANE!!! Bought quite alot of nonsensical stuff like 3 bottles of "LOREAL's REVITALIFT" because it was "BUY 2 GET 1 FREE" LOL. Also, got Gongcha again~ Bad bad bad...

Went home and saw that my PMD arrived!!! Oh! You guys know what a PMD is right? It stands for PersonalMicroDerm. If you have subscribed to those famous Youtube beauty gurus like AllThatGlitters21 and Hollyannaeree, you'll probably know what that is.

This is how the package looks like.

This is how it looks like when you take out whatever inside's the box.

There's the warranty card, instructional DVD & a random paper.

The adaptors are in the white box, that's the pmd and the exfoliating discs.

  I'm gonna try it out tonight. If it works wonders, then.... well i guess it's worth the money :P Here are the vids of Holly and Elle talking about the PMDs.

I couldn't concentrate on watching KHJ's We Got Married episodes today. The videos were kinda spoilt. It will automatically skip 3minutes here and there. Pissed me off. So i decided to stop watching. Went to check updates on SHINee and i'm really jealous of 2 SG shawols whom i can't really say are my friends because i'm not THAT close to them, that are currently in Korea right now. What the helllllll. I want to go too... I need somebody as crazy as me... :( Sigh. Who wants to go Korea with me? I AM SERIOUUUUUS.

Did you remember i said Taemin was the only guy in the world who would pull off long hair? EVIDENCE:

DOESNT HE LOOK SO FAIRY-LY PRETTY??????????? Sigh. I swear his album cover is not doing him any justice. How can he say he thought it was not bad. I think it's really bad compared to how he looks right now, cuz he is still wearing the extensions on. I know, so many people are judging him right now. I.... don't really care. It's your comments, can't stop nor control your minds and mouths. Heh as long as i know he looks so cute and squishy, nothing else matters :P  

Annoyance

I spent my whole day at Liqian's house with Jai and Andrea. So i shall not talk about my day there cuz i was basically just using my computer, talking to them and sleeping. Heh. Something's frustrating me alot right now and i shall rant it over here. 

My dad came to pick me up earlier just now. Here's our conversation:

Daddy: Your letter come already anot?

Me: Haven't yet.

Daddy: Huh? Haven't yet ah? What is your course about?

 Me: Dance? Lol. Then some dance history and these sort of things.

Daddy: Oh so got study one ah? After this can go Uni one anot?

Me: Of course la, it's a diploma what.

Daddy: Ngee ann dont have this course meh?

Me: No -.-

Daddy: So what you going to do after dance? Instructor?

Me: NO i can't teach. Performer.

Daddy: Performer? Now can perform la, old already perform what? -shows a sacarstic example-

Me: Aiya by that time i'm sure i'll have money. I can open my own dance studio what!

Daddy: Ya la you can open your dance studio but who teach?

Me: HIRE PEOPLE LA!

Daddy: Then nobody wanna teach how? If you can teach got back up good what.

Me: Eh? If i teach i also need stamina right. So what's the difference!? I rather perform.

Daddy: *blabbers dont know what shit. my mood got bad so nothing was going into my ears*

I'm annoyed. I know he hates the idea of me choosing Lasalle. I knew from 2 years ago when i said i wanted to go Lasalle. I asked my parents permission first before even enquiring about Lasalle through email. At that point of time, he gave me a disgusted look, like he was thinking there's was no future for me if i entered Lasalle. My mom probably persuaded him in a way or so, and he told me to go ahead and research on it.

I've said it before in my previous post where I talked about me wanting to go Lasalle 2 years back. But just to refresh your memory for the sake of this post, i shall summarise the post.

I gave up the idea of going Lasalle because i thought i wasnt cut out for it and i assumed i wouldnt be accepted. (Now that i think of it, I AM FATED WITH LASALLE.) Then, Andrea called me up on the day of Lasalle's Open house and asked if i wanted to go. I said yes and I signed up for the audition because they said whoever who went for the open house that day, the audition fees would be waived. There was no harm trying. So i did.

On the day of the audition, which was yesterday, my dad wished me "good luck" with a very beautiful smile. I'm currently having doubts on that smile he gave me. Was he wishing that i wouldnt get in? After i got in, my mom told him about it and he didnt congratulate me. When he came home that night, he still didnt congratulate me. He only asked, "How you get into Lasalle?" and "Why you like not happy like that?" He asked me the second question because i was already irritated at his first question, hence i gave him an irritated look and answer.

Seriously?! What kind of question is that? "HOW YOU GET INTO LASALLE?" C'mon i'm serious. I hate how he is always saying how he supports that i should do whatever i love and then when i am, he starts giving me suspicious and doubtful looks, like i'll never succeed in life. Yo father, do that more. Cuz it just fucking gives me even more determination to do even better.

That leads me to my next point; Generation Issues.

I know in the past, being Doctors and Lawyers were called successful. Being teachers and accountants were not as successful. & Being food sellers and salesperson were just unsuccessful. It's a different story now. Doctors and lawyers are still successful, but do you think everyone can be them? If everyone become doctors and lawyers, whose gonna take up the other jobs? Teachers & accountants are earning so much more right now. & don't you dare look down on food sellers. They might make millions of dollars if their food is tremendously good. Sales person? Hello they earn big bucks too. Jobs you think won't succeed in the past, IT WILL NOW. So don't be so irritating and look down on people so easily.

Parents from the previous generation need to know that we cannot be compared to their times. Their favourite sentence are always "Last time our pocket money only $2 leh. Now give you $10 very good already ok." Excuse me, you said yourself, "LAST TIME". Last time you can buy a drink for 50cents. Try giving your kids $2 to go out. You can't even buy a freaking meal. Even a burger is more than $2. SO WHAT ARE YOU COMPARING? "I only have a handphone at 20 years old leh. You 10 years old have handphone already." What the hell. Last time were handphones even needed?! Now you try going around without phones. You might be able to survive for a week but after that, you'll suffer. 

Ah my main point. Parents should just follow up with the world if they want to continue living. Seriously, they can't go back to the past no matter how much they love the past.

I've chosen my path. I'm prepared. I'm not gonna let my freaking father pyscho me out of my decision on this one. NEVER.

I've succeeded!!!!

IT'S D-DAY!!! I woke up at 6am this morning, thinking about what was gonna happen after today. Bathed, warmed up, ate my bar of chocolate and sat on my chair, waiting for time to pass. At 7.45am, left home cuz i was afraid there was a jam. Surprisingly, there wasnt any, so i reached there 8am.

The whole school was so quiet.. I guessed school haven't start, hence no people. I didn't know where to go. So i just sat on the patch of "grass"(it's meant for sitting fyi). At around 8.20am, this girl (I guess a senior) came up to me and asked me, "Hey are you here for the audition?" I said yes and she told me to wait near the dance studio. Me & this other girl, named Aglin were brought up to another dance studio at level 2.

We were supposed to follow through a Ballet lesson. God you dont know how much of a hell that was. Firstly, the teacher is an old male teacher. Secondly, he speaks Chinese and his English isnt that good. Thirdly, he pronounces most of the ballet terms is such a weird way that i couldn't make out what he was saying. LASTLY, I have no ballet background, SO WHATEVER TERMS HE WAS SAYING, I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND AT ALL. Well, except for those simple terms like Pas de bourre, 1st/2nd/3rd/4th/5th position, Pirouette, Battement, Plié blablabla. The lesson was going so fast, I totally couldnt catch up at all.

Next was a contemporary class. The teacher was Miss Susan Yeung. She kinda taught BPS Dance Sec2 SYF and hence, i saw her before. Not that i was in 09'SYF or anything, I just followed through her class once before because i was new to the school, new to the CCA. So i followed through her class, AND IT WAS SO MUCH MORE FUN THAN BALLET OK. Yes I obviously couldnt catch up as fast because her speed was seriously damn fast. But it was something that i've done before and I know that if i keep trying, SOMEHOW i'll get it. So I kept repeating the steps, over and over. I got this bad habit of being in my own world because i get too engrossed in trying to figure out the steps. As soon as I was confident about the movements she was teaching, she moved on to the next set of movements. Sigh max.

Then here comes the Interview. There were only 5 people who came for audition today. Well it was kinda expected i guess, since i chose the 2nd latest date HEH!

The so called judge came up to us and said, "So i'll talk to you guys one by one in that room over there okay?"

*Nods*

She continues, "I'll see you guys in this order. Shanette, Melissa, Aglin, Andrea, Siti." *Walks away*

*Turns back* "Oh! & also, bring in both your essays." 

Took my essays and brought it to the room. So she asked me about my dance history. I think i was too nervous. My mind was blank, no words were coming out at all. So i just said i took Modern Dance in school. Then she asked who my teacher was. I told her and paused. So she prompted me with another question, "Why do you like dance?" Wow why didnt i see that coming? I kinda zoned out because there wasnt a single word in my brain!!!! I even told her, "Er wait...." LOL & she said, "Yeah sure -smiles-" Well, i anyhow just crapped my way through. The last question was, of course, "Why did you choose Lasalle?" & my answer was so simple. "Because I was inspired by my dance teacher. -smiles-" 

After the questions, she told me how i did during both the classes. She said she liked my attitude in the contemporary class because even though some of my directions were kinda wrong, i still kept trying. LOL.... She continued saying that my flexibility was good and I kinda struggled through Ballet. I immediately giggled and told her, "Yeah i have no ballet background, at all!" 

"Hmmm but..... you're passionate, right? About dance? You're willing to work hard, and go for the extra mile?"  

"YES!" -smiles- 

"Alright good, so, the next time when i see you in Aug.... -smiles-" 

I stared at her for 5seconds because i was trying to digest what she said. See me in aug? Er what? OH I'M ACCEPTED? OH OKAY. -enthu mood activated- 

So she continued, "The next  time i see you in Aug, i hope you'll catch up a little bit faster with Ballet... ..."

She told me to take ballet lessons during the holidays before school starts and stuff so that i wouldnt lack behind. Heh, thanked the teacher and she's so cute. Before i left, she asked "Can i give you a hug?" Haha!!!! So i hugged her and she told me "Cya in August!"

YEAH BABY I'M ACCEPTED!!!! I am so happy happy happy hehoha~!!! Made friends with those audition mates. They were so friendly~~ I'm just so excited right now, like seriously. 

Freshened up and headed to Orchard to meet Amanda for The Hunger Games. Hmmm the movie wasnt as nice as i expected it to be, honestly. After the movie, headed to Paragon, then Somerset. Bought a beautiful romper from Forever21 and Pretty Lil Liars Season 1 DVD from HMV. Heh, headed home after that. 

So now, i have another 5 months of holidays. FIVEEEEEE MONNNNTTTHHHS!! Do you see that? LOL I feel so *bleh*. Where to find a job? Any job recommendations? Haha. You know, i've got lots to write, but somehow i can't type it out because my mind is in a mess. So i'll just leave this post as it is. TA-TA~   

     

Untitled

안녕 여러분.

난 오디션를 정말 걱정돼요. 어떻게요 정말...

Why do i love stressing myself out? Everything that doesnt seem as complicated, i make it feel and sound so complicated. Gah i need to chill and have some fun with life.

I was worried about Monday, still. So i went youtube and search "Dance audition guide" for fun. I didnt really think i'd find any videos related to those few words, but i did.

What the hell. Even though she's from a different country and stuff, auditions won't differ much. The line that i cannot get out from my head from her video: They might take your body size into consideration.

BODY. SIZE? Zzz dreams and hopes crashed. I won't give up, but i know i won't get in already lol. After watching her video, i got bored and decided to turn on the tv. While looking up on what to watch, AXN was playing So You Think You Can Dance. So i watched that. Me and them? Incomparable. Another thing that brought me down.

Today is Saturday, so i couldnt care less about what i ate. Had chicken rice for lunch and western food for dinner. I'm currently drinking orange juice. Seriously everything i eat is fat. Good fat, bad fat, there's no freaking difference to me. When i weigh myself tomorrow, i'll gain 1kg. Sigh.

After dinner, my mom was watching Forensic Heroes but it ended and Heartstrings started. I'm like wow okay let's watch. They were playing the part about auditions and stuff. Sigh at the time, i was just "WHY IS EVERYTHING ABOUT DANCE AND AUDITION NOW." Whatever. Tomorrow is just going to be a short day. I'll sleep before 12 tomorrow. Sigh i'll just get through it and be sad on monday lol!!!

Now, to brighten things up, these few gifs were too cute. No matter how many times i look at it, i'll still smile :)
   

 Minho was telling Taemin and Key to copy Jonghyun's bodywave. Hahahaha naughty boy.

Taemin started dancing on the wrong beat. Minho saw his mistake and hit him while Taemin held his laughter. HAHA how cuteee.

There is nothing to say already. I can't think of any right now. I still am watching Heartstrings, right now. Dance dance dance....

Panic Attack

Hi. I've been fangirling the whole day. Now i'm exhausted. & so, i've calmed down and am starting to think about the deadly Monday that's about to approach; Judgement day.

My plan on monday:

6am: Rise&Shine

6.30am: EAT CHOCOLATE. (yes i need some hyperness. if not i'll be shy like shit.)

6.45am - 7.30am: Warm up and just anyhow create some movements to get used to dancing again

7.30am - 7.45am: Double check things that i need to bring

7.45am: Leave house

8.15am: Reach Lasalle

8.30am: Audition starts

I'm having mixed feelings right now. What if i don't get in? What if i cry of disappointment and not joy? What if i get groupmates who are very good at dancing or catching up with steps? Wouldn't my chance of entering Lasalle be so much lesser? What if i got in? How will my life be for the next 3 years? WAIT, if i get in, i need to find a freaking job, because school only starts in August. Sigh, i'm just like stressed out right now. I want the weekends to quickly pass because I just wanna get over and done with Monday.

Should i make a bet with myself? If i get in, i'll treat all my 5 friends Gongcha. If i dont.... THEY TREAT ME. HAHAHA Oh my, that's not a bet with MYSELF. Ok no. If i get in, i'll splurge on a big meal, like a seriously sinful meal for a day. If i dont, i'm just gonna live with less than 1000 calories per day. Hmmm k.. That should do the trick.

I'm now just thinking who my favourite dancer is. I honestly dont know who it is, because i wasnt inspired to dance by a specific dancer. Sigh. Plus i've got no historic knowledge on dance so i don't know any well-known dancers except for the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. NEH he's not exactly my favourite dancer.

WHAT SHOULD I DO????? :(

SHINee's back

Hi my darlings are finally back. After one over year of making shawols nuts. They are finally back.

I'm sorry if my blog's been full of k-pop recently. I know there are lots of kpop haters out there and I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. So i shall not give no shit about them. I love k-pop and I love SHINee. If you're thinking why i love so many kpop groups, LOL actually it's just..... I DONT KNOW. SHINee is the first ever k-pop GROUP that i liked, AND AM STILL LOVING BY THE WAY. Everytime i see their comebacks i feel like i belong to the kpop world. Shall i explain my k-pop story? YES!

To start it off, i shall name my favourite babies.

Solo artist: Kim Hyun Joong

1st male group: SHINee

2nd male group: MBLAQ

Female group: 2NE1

That's about it actually. I previously liked groups like 2PM, UKISS, blababla, but it didnt last. I didn't like them as much as i love SHINee, MBLAQ and KHJ. To me, when i say i'm a fan, i mean i love everyone in the group. I loved hyun joong when he was still in SS501. I can't say i'm a Triple S (SS501's fanclub name) because i'm not a fan of everyone in the group. 

I won't say i'm a fan if i only like a particular member in a group. I think it's only normal that you have 1 bias in a group but you're not exactly a fan. When someone says a group name, a member will automatically pop into your head. Like when someone talks about bigbang, TOP comes into mind and when someone talks about 2PM, Junsu's the first in my list. You know...? That kind of thing? LOL.

Let me be very singaporean-ish right now.

You think be fangirl very easy ah? Have to keep stalking them on their schedules, stone on Youtube to see if their new video is out, scroll tumblr like nobody's business to see pictures of them, then when a new album come out, die also must buy regardless of the price. Bleh.

I keep reading over whatever that i've typed and honestly, nothing i say here is making any sense. I'm trying to think how i should change this whole post but i can't! I DONT CARE. I'm like afraid that i'll contradict my own words so it's damn hard for me to write this post. 

Ok. I might have eye candies here and there for rookie groups like how i used to spazz over Chunji from Teentop, Minwoo from Boyfriend, and now JR from NU'EST. BUT I'M NOT A FAN. I know nothing about them. They are just good to look at. LOL. It's like walking on the streets and a male model walk passes me. Yes that kind of feeling. 

I'm a real fan of the bolded names that i've typed. So yes. I die also must buy their new albums. Die also must know what they've been up to. Die also must see them at least once in my entire life. Those people on top were the ones who made me wanna learn Korean so bad.

I don't know why i'm trying so hard to explain myself. LOL. Hm okay i guess i do. I hate it when people think i just become a fan of something i just like. THAT. IS. NOT. TRUE. If they are good, is there any reason to hate them? NO RIGHT? I really don't get why there are haters out there. I am not a SNSD fan but you can't deny they look good even though they have gone through plastic surgery. I might not really like Hyuna cuz of her sluttiness but you gotta admit she does have what it takes to be slutty -_-. PLUS, regardless of how much you hate them, IT WONT BRING THEM DOWN. They will just keep getting popular cuz of your hate. & It's also called updating yourself so you won't get lost when people asks you about a group.

Heh i'm done blabbering nonsense. My day was spent at home watching Operation Proposal. Some of the plot made me sob. Aw. Also caught SHINee's comeback live-streamed :P They are daaaaa awesomeeeeee. I've already ordered my album days ago before i even went to Thailand and now i'm just awaiting for it's arrival to Singapore. Bwahahaha.

I think only Taemin is able to pull of such girly hair. Seriously~

Finally to end of the post, SHINee's BACK BABY!

 

Strong presence

I woke up this morning, sighing and smiling at the same time. Sighed because i woke up from my dream when it havent even ended. Smiled because I dreamt of my ideal man, hyun joong. I keep saying "this dream was the best dream i've ever had." because every dream that i dream about him keeps getting better. SO PERFECT. His presence was so strong, it felt so real even though i know its not... Everything we did felt so normal. He wasnt a celebrity, i was still a commoner. When i woke up, switched on my phone and saw his wallpaper there, i knew i was back to the real harsh reality. He's still a celebrity, & i'm still a commoner. No hope. LOL.

My whole dream felt like the drama "Playful Kiss". Not the part where he kept bullying the lead actress but the part after they just kissed under the rain, confess to their parents, go for their honeymoon etc. I suddenly took over the lead actress' part. What made me felt so happy was that i knew it was reality IN MY DREAMS, but Playful Kiss was just an act, with the lead actress. It felt so good, so warm, being protected and loved by the man of your dreams. HAHA.   

This is so awesome. I need more dreams about you.

현중 오빠야, 너 진짜 완벽한네요. 

I did nothing the whole day. Time just kept passing. Had porridge for brunch, and kept stoning infront of my computer, watching random videos on Youtube. I was too bored, so i decided to look up for new shows. & i found out that Yoo Seung Ho had a new show last month and is still airing, titled "Operation Proposal". Just started watching it 2 hours ago and am only at episode 3. Hehe, it's nice.

Went to the doctor's to get my face checked again in the evening. Waited for 1h30min. God.... So long. My mother went with me. & she was saying that she almost got gastric pains because of the long wait. I can skip a whole day's meal and not get any gastric pains so i was curious why she got it and asked. Her reply was, "You just wait. You keep skipping meals. Confirm get gastric." I'm like wtf? I don't get her. Doesn't she know that the mind is a very powerful tool? If she says she's hungry and MUST eat, she WILL be hungry and WILL eat. Everything's in the mindset. Therefore, i choose to think that I can live with one meal a day and I'm not hungry. I don't see what's wrong with that. -.-

I'm just sitting down here thinking how good it'd be if i could converse in Korean. Then i could go Korea and work and there would be higher chance of me bumping into a celebritity or best work for a celebritity. HAHA. I apologise for my hopeless dreams. WELL! A girl gotta dream big to be successful. Ok I think i should eat back my own words. Actually that's not really true. Words are kinda nothing without actions. 

Gah... I wished i could live in my dreams and never return back to reality. Isn't that like, death? You know, those who die in their sleep probably decided to live in their dreams! I think i make sense here. LOL. Wow i wouldnt mind dying in my sleep if i was dreaming about hyun joong. -OHMYGOD INSANITY OVERLOAD HERE- TOUCH WOOD I WON'T DIE IN MY SLEEP. I must see Hyun Joong with my own freaking eyes and go to his concert and get his autograph and all sort of nonsense fangirls do before i die. That is soooooo on my bucket list.

If you're wondering why I haven't seen hyun joong before, I shall tell you now. I have this weird sad fate with him. He always come to Singapore at the wrong timing. The first time he came Singapore was 3rd December 2010. I knew he was coming and was gonna be in Singapore for 3 days. But i didnt know how i could get tickets to get to see him because it was like an event held by The Faceshop. Plus I didnt know anybody who were friends with me that were as crazy as me about hyun joong. So..... i couldnt see him...

Then the 2nd time he came, was on 17th August 2011. He was also here for 3 days and the event was also held by The Faceshop. 17th August was a Wednesday! I had school! I couldnt go even if i wanted to because it was O level English Oral preparation period! & the day he had the fanmeet, which is 19th August 2011, was the day of my O level English Oral! God i felt so sad, because my new friend told me she had an extra ticket to see him and asked if i wanted to go.... Then dinar kinda made me even more terrible. 

On 19th Aug, he also went to The Faceshop outlet at Causeway Point. I assume Dinar lives around there because minutes before my Oral exam, she ringed me up and said "I saw your favourite idol! He's infront of me!" I'm like "........................" Was she trying to make me fail my oral? LOL.

Sigh. So yeah that's my sad story. Have been a fan of him for 4 years and I still haven't seen him. NOT EVEN ONCE. I still remember in 2009, when SS501 were still together, they gave out news that they were coming Singapore in December. I was pinning my hopes so high i could see Hyun joong. THEN, they just cancelled it. God what kind of fate is this. Sad to the max.

Nah, the next time he comes to Singapore, I'LL DEFINITELY BE THERE. I'll skip school if it's a weekday. I'll go alone if i've got no friends who are fans of him. I'LL JUST GO!!!! There's no way i'll miss you again. NO WAY!!

  

Sunkissed Skin

You know what? I couldnt resist it. I was thinking if i should post aboout my new craze over this rookie group called NU'EST. & YES I SHOULD LOL.

So, NU'EST is previously called Pleadis Boys. Everyone of them are born in the year 1995 except Aron, whose born in 1993. The guy is so femme fatal to me, is named Kim Jong Hyun, AKA JR.

So i was just finding out information about him. Then i found out he's the leader of the group, dances and raps too. WHICH PART OF HIM LOOKS LIKE A 17 YEAR OLD???? LOL Wait, to be exact he's only 16 since his birthday is on the 8th June. Jonghyun has so much attitude in the MV LOL!!! He reminds me of Mir. I saw videos of him during a fan meet that was held on Valentine's Day and only to realise he is more to the cuter side, not cool.  

WELL, cute or cool, he's still damn attractive to me and so are 2 other members named Baekho and Aron. Wow hot max~~~!

It's so weird to know that there are idols are there of the same age as you because you tend to compare them to yourselves. "They are 17, i am 17. WHAT THE? I'm here doing nothing while they are there dancing and being famous LOL. epic fail." I really dont feel like 17 at all. Everytime i hear "1995", the first thing that comes into mind is "Wow so young". & then i realise, Oh! I'm 1995 liner too. -_- Yeah i feel like i'm only 15. I don't know why.

OK NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT MY THAILAND TRIP!!!

PLEASE. DO. NOT. MISTAKEN. HE. IS. MY. BLOOD. BROTHER. NOT. BOYFRIEND -_-

So i did nothing the first day. By the time we reached the hotel, it was already 6.30pm, which is 7.30pm SGT. Decided to just stay in the hotel since we were all tired and stuff. Can't believe i fell asleep before 10pm the first day. I just totally knocked out. Woke up numerous times throughout the night for no reason and finally woke up for good at 7am.

There was this complimentary tourguide so my parents decided to follow her. Wtf we went temple and some stupid gemstone place that totally bored me to death. My whole morning was just so boring i assumed my whole trip would be boring. BUT! After the gemstone place, the driver took us to MBK, a shopping mall and my mood changed 360 degrees. HAHA. 1st, there were so many hot caucasians over there. 2nd, there were so many shops to look at. 3rd, SO MANY HOT PEOPLE STILL.

Walked around there till 4pm and headed back to the hotel to put down our stuff, rested for a lil while and headed to Platinum, another huge shopping mall which was right beside our hotel. My mother ah.... She can't walk for long and just kept complaining her legs hurt. So we kept having to rest.

Woke up early too, and went to chatuchak. It's an enormous place that sells almost everything you want. However, its so big you can hardly finish the whole place because it's like an outdoor place and the weather in Thailand is way hotter than Singapore. It is about 5 times bigger than Bugis Street. I guess it's a tourist spot because i see lots of tourists. *So many hot guys ahhhhhh*

Went to see those puppies that they sold there and it was soooooooo extremely cute. I'm loss for words. Usually, when i look at those cute lil puppy photos, i'd go mad crazy. Can you imagine how noisy i was when i saw it REAL LIFE? RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME? It was so cute, i almost died on the spot hahahaha.

Then my whole family went to the fish side. Those moments were fucking hell to me believe it or not. I FELT LIKE I WENT THROUGH A JUNGLE. Other than fishes, they displayed disgusting worms and earthworms and whatever wriggly shit. There were some scorpion lookalike shit too and other disgusting insects which totally gave me goosebumps. HATE THOSE STUFF!!!!! We stayed there so long because my brother took such a bloody long time to choose his whatever nonsense fishes.

After we finished, we just walked around like a boss and i just kept looking around for hot guys. LOL I bet everyone was staring around too. The whole 3 days over there i felt stared everywhere i went. It was uncomfortable because at first i thought i looked abnormal or something. But..... LOL how can i be abnormal....~

When there are caucasians around i feel so happy. I feel like a blend in with them. Not features wise, but size and dressing wise. They disregard their size and wear anything they like and they are people who prefer to wear little clothes. So it kinda gave me confidence to wear sleeveless clothings for the past 3 days. I prefer to wear lesser clothes because idk.. it feels more cooling? LOL my closet has ALOT of sleeveless clothes but i feel like if i wear it in Singapore i'll be judged. -_- lol. It was so hot! I feel like even wearing a tshirt is damn warm!!! Oh plus almost everyone there was tall because most of them were caucasian tourists. I felt so good because i didnt need to like hide my height to blend in with the surroundings.

So we travelled around Bangkok by Taxi. I hated it. The weather was so hot and the heat kept seaping through the windows. I always sat in the middle and kept being squashed by my brother and mother. ARGH. So uncomfortable and they were always major sweaty and sticky. Ewwwwww.

My father kept making the whole family eat and eat and eat AND EAT. I think i gained like fucking 2kg in 4 days. I'm so scared to check my weight now. Why can't he understand that male's metabolism rate and female's are DIFFERENT. He burns fats so fast. I TAKE YEARS!!!! He can eat 5kg of food and lose 5kg in less than a month but i cant!! Argh, kept spoiling my plan on slimming down. I swear i felt so tortured man. EAT FOOD ALSO FEEL TORTURED. LOL duh cuz i'm fucking fat and unless he got da money to let me go for liposuction, HE SHOULD STOP FEEDING ME LIKE SOME PIG.

Then my mom kept arguing with me because i kept saying i was slim enough. Seriously................................ Maybe if i'm in Australia or whatever english country, I'd probably not bother about my size that much. Just because i'm smaller size than her DOESNT MEAN I'M SLIM. I told her a millions times my weight never changed at all and she kept saying i looked like 55kg. WOW lol. -_-

I'm always pissed when people tell me nonsense. If i slimmed down and i know i did, NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING. You know how much it pisses me off..... When i put in the effort to do something and no one sees it. & when i do nothing, people will just say something that doesnt even make sense. It's like that person is trying to entertain you in a non-entertaining manner. Argh. Can't they understand that i'll eat when i'm hungry? Their way of eating is really too absurd. Every few hours eat something. & their "something" is VERY FATTENING. NO WONDER THEY ARE THAT SIZE. I don't want to be so big in size and i'm trying so hard but they just keep spoiling my plan. CANT TAKE IT.

On the 2nd day of our Bangkok trip, my dad totally got angry with me because he bought 4 freaking fat donuts and i kept declining. I WAS STILL DAMN FULL. What the? I didnt know declining food is a crime. Argh now i gotta make sure i lose away all the unwilling nonsense food that i ate for the past 4 days.   

Daddy: Eh come come look here. Take photo for memory. (LOL WTH, but it turned out not so bad ooooo~)

Ok. Sorry for the sudden rant. I'm just unhappy that i put on weight because i ate food that i didnt want to eat lol.

Went back Chatuchak the last day again because we didnt finish shopping around. Then we had to go back to the hotel to take our luggages because our flight was at 6.45pm. We had a driver to drive us to the airport. 1hour drive.... Waited to be boarded and i told my family i wouldnt eat the food that the plane give. BUT I STILL DID AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT'S MY REASON? Hahaha i'm such a gay person but.... it's because there was this extremely hot thai steward on board. He speaks english so well that my mom thought he was an American. I was like "NO! I heard him speak thai." & he had Nichkhun's face features!!! So tall and hairstyle so awesome.. He reminded me of a guy i used to be crazy about in Church, let's just name him J. In short, he is a mixture of Nichkhun&J. HAHA. Awesome mixture man no joke.

We sent Yvonne off today. She's on her way to Perth right now. Hopefully she likes my gift. 

I'm such a weird kid. I suck so bad at Arts&Craft but everytime when it comes to presents, i love DIY stuff. I feel like it's more meaningful. It's like da one and only in the world. Haha.

Wow this post is soooooooooo long. I'm sure it has exceeded 1000words. Hmmm actually i think most of my posts exceeds 1000words. Hehe.

D-7 LASALLE AUDITION

I want to get in. I don't want to go NYP.(honestly.. LOL.)

One more obstacle

IT'S OVER!!! GUITAR EXAM'S OVER!!!!! -Jumps with joy-

I'm like half relieved, half worried. The examiner kept giving me the feel that he'll just give me a borderline pass. He kept giving me that doubtful look. Neh who cares. I listened to my guitar teacher and just enjoyed playing the guitar. So i dont care anymore LOL. Last minute practice, what can i expect? HOWEVER! I played better than usual. SO~~~~ -praises myself-

So next up is........ LASALLE AUDITION -screams- If i can get through that and come out of the dance studio with a freaking smile, I'LL BE FREAKING HAPPY, NO JOKE!!! Hehehe.

Went to find Jai, Liqian, Sasha, Mary, Yvonne at AMK to catch John Carter. Xinni turned up too. I actually told myself i'd drink only Gongcha for lunner. But you know what? I ended up eating popcorn, which was free because yvonne had the nebo card thingy and sweettalk's bubbletea, which was free too because Yvonne lost a bet months ago and so, she had to treat da clique bubbletea. LOL. After the movie, we all ate KFC. I don't really know why i ate damn. I shouldnt have. Temptation took over, AGAIN. Ah whatever. Talked alot after dinner and it was hilarious yo.

I'll being heading to Bangkok tomorrow afternoon! Yay, excited because it's gonna be 4 days of shopping. HAHAHA. Ohmygod i'm so gonna carry another luggage back..~~ Right now, i think i should go pack my luggage because i might just end up waking up at 1pm and i gotta be in the airport at 2pm LOL!!!

BYEBYE, HIATUS TILL SUNDAY NIGHT!!!

XOXO,

SHANNY

What should i title this post?

Time check: 3.33A.M.

My stomach hurts really badly right now.

It's raining very heavily outside and i wish i can stare at the rain. Somehow my room is not made for window-gazing-activity. If you've seen/been to my room you'll know why. Stupid room alignment shit.

What i've been doing the whole night?

Staring at my guitar. Replaying my exam pieces, scales. & attempted to play Love Story - Taylor Swift.

Stalking people's happy lives on Facebook, which really pissed me off by the way.

That's all.

You know what? I want to capture my daily life too. Everytime i want to take photos, no one wants. Everytime other people wants to take photos, i'll be in the most unglammest mood/outfit/look. Gah. I don't know what i'm doing late at night thinking nonsense. All Facebook's fault. It lets me see how other people are doing in their lives. How my old friends are doing with their lifes. How my used-to-be friends are doing with their lives. Damn yo.

I hate it!!!!! Seeing those photos make me think thoughts like "What would happen if we were still close?", "What if i was there?", "I AM SUPPOSED TO BE THERE, NOT YOU BITCH." God so evil, but yeah. Those people moved on. I moved on. It's sad how we can never stay as close when we move on. WHY?????????? Everytime i think of memories i've had with those friends, it makes me so sad. Sad to know that they've changed. Sad to know what have become of us. Sad to know that I might be part of their forgotten memory.  

In the past, i'd be like "My best friend has to put me first in her heart no matter what." Now, i dont even bother anymore. Shut down already, cannot open up anymore. Honestly I don't know who's first in my heart. WHO? lol. No names popped up i'm sorry.

You need time to build up a relationship with someone. I started too late. While I know the person for a year, that person might already have a best friend 5 years ago and are still goodie friends. So how can i compare with that 5 year friend?! We make friends the moment we enter a school, which is kindergarden. I have friendships that are as long as 15 years but we're not close at all. So what's the use?! We know each other for 15 years but we only have like 2 years of memories at most. It's just sad. I'm always the one who JOINS somebody's clique, or joins somebody's group. I was never the start. I always start from being an outcast, pitied by whoever, then joins somewhere.  

I really wish someone puts me first in his/her heart. I want to be the first person she/he will come to when he's/she's sad. First person to tell when he/she has a boyfriend/girlfriend. First person to everything. I'm 17. How can i find that person? I can list out more than 20 names that i was once close to. That's fucking sad. 20. Is. Not. A. Small. Number.

Actually i cannot recall if i've posted something similar to this post cuz i feel like i did. So, i'm sorry if you've read something like this here and you're reading this for the 2nd time. WHATEVERRRRRR.....

cuz food is always the solution.

Self conscious

Hi wassup guys. I'm ashamed of myself. Actually, i wanted to just eat porridge and survive on that the whole day plus water. Then i saw Jocelyn message. I needed to meet her at Bishan to get my poloroid films. All i could think of when i heard "Bishan" was, gongcha. I then decided to not eat porridge but drink gongcha AND JUST GONGCHA for the whole day.

It was around 5pm when i bought this. So awesome... I'd drink it again if i could tomorrow seriously. I'm like addicted to this shit. I keep craving for it, LOL!!! So yes i really thought i could survive on this. Actually I could. & temptation decided to take over my brain and told me to eat 2 paos(buns). So i ate 2 paos at 8.30pm or so... :( Sobs. SOBS!!!! Even though my total calorie intake today is less than 1000, it is still not enough to pay back for the amount i ate on Saturday, Sunday & Monday!!!!! Sigh. Why am i so calorie conscious all of a sudden. ARGH. All because of the stupid app my mom told me about.

Speaking about food, i cant believe the amount of weight i put on during O level periods. I think i kinda put on like 4kg in 5months or something! INSANITY. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. No seriously. I'm not exxagerating. I'm not the kind that would constantly put on weight like nobody's business. From primary6 to sec1, i gained 3kg. Since it was my puberty stage and all that sort of nonsense, i didn't care. My weight and everything still look pretty acceptable.  From Sec1 to Sec2, I put on like 4kg. That was the most depressing thing ever. LOL wanna know why? Cuz sec2 was the year where i almost got depression and hence the tremendous amount of weight put on. Then after that period, i lost 2kg and my weight stayed that way till O level period.

I ate normally. 2 meals a day. But i think almost every other day i ate fastfood. & that was the period where Sec4s stepped down from their CCA so i had no exercise at all. 4 freaking kilograms in 5 freaking months. That's insane. To me,  it is.

When holidays started, I started eating only one meal a day. HAHA. I guess i was just too addicted to all the shows that i was watching, i forgot what was food. I was called down for the tuberculosis check up shit and i got a positive so i was under medication. Thus i need to go back every month to have a check  up. (NO I GOT NO SIDE EFFECTS.) I realised i lost 4kg. I lost the 4kg that i gained during O levels. YAY!!!!

I. want. to. be. 55. freaking. kilograms. (I am obviously heavier than that right now DUH. lol.) To me, that's the best weight for my height. (Geraldine if you're seeing this, DONT SAY YOU'RE FAT OR ELSE :@)

Here's my growth chart:

Primary 4

Height: 148cm, 45kg

Primary 5

Height: 156cm, 48kg

Primary 6

Height: 160cm, guess yourself LOL.

Secondary 1

Height: 161cm

Secondary 2

Height: 163cm

Secondary 3

Height: 164cm

Secondary 4

Height: 165cm

NOW, 17 YEARS OLD:

Height: still 165cm

DREAM WEIGHT: 55KG.

Damn it. I don't know how am i gonna become 55kg. I dont know. If i stay one meal a day for the entire year, drink water instead of softdrinks, maybe.

I was practicing guitar the whole evening. I really love burning midnight oil. LOL one day before my guitar exam, i then start remembering my scales. Woohoo aint i a genius? HAHA. Seriously... I can only pass the test if i do it this way. Things thats gotta do with memory skills, I always push everything into my head one day before and then spill everything out and FORGET ABOUT IT~

So i havent tuned my guitar for almost a month and i decided to. I took my guitar tuner and started tuning it. Tune and tune and tune....... UNTIL IT GOT EVEN MORE OUT OF TUNED. My tuner was spoilt and i didnt even realise it!!! Sounded so gay i couldnt even bare to play it. Told my guitar teacher about it and she immediately told me to meet her so she could pass me her tuner. & she did. MY SAVIOUR!!!! Couldnt be more grateful, really. 

Entertainment

What did i say about Jonghyun's teaser pic?

 

FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

I knew it. I KNEW IT!!!!!! So bloody smexay no wonder you're the last teaser.

I woke up at 8am today to go for my TB appointment at TTSH. DANG. Seriously can't wait 9 months to be up. Took my medicine and went back home. I set my alarm at 11am just in case i fell asleep. AND I DID! Haha, freshened up and headed out to find Geraldine. I saw my cousin while waiting for her. So awkward. I was contemplating if i should say hi. Then my hand suddenly moved on its own and waved. Lol. She came and there was nothing to do so we ended up playing pool again. Nyah it started to get boring after 1hour. So we went to have lunch at Mos Burger. I was craving for it the moment i woke up!!! Haha.

 

Toured the whole AMK and talked. We were waiting for Aaron, Jiazhen and Edwin to come cuz Geraldine needed to pass them something. They were taking forever!!! & we were so bored!!! Went to get Gongcha and Geraldine ordered for Edwin&Aaron on their behalf. Around 4, they finally came. Because they wanted to go Kpool, they had to finish up their drink first before entering the place. So we just stoned at the bus stop, waiting for them to drink finish. & then, me and Geraldine just stayed one side and watched them play pool~ I think it feels better to look at pros than play like a noob. LOL.

 

After pool, went to void deck to slack. Haha they are funny people. Since i was not very close with them, i just sat there with Geraldine and listen to their conversations most of the time. It was entertaining~ Geraldine then decided to go home so i went her house. Felt damn sleepy. Could fall asleep anytime. Alexea suddenly called. Geraldine needed to pass her something too LOL. So we went down to wait for her. Aw she was funny too. Ah funny people are the best~ Hahaaa. Went home after that cuz i called my mom to fetch me.

I hope to meet entertaining people like them in my poly life. I hope the group of friends that i mix with in Poly will have both sexes LOL. Seriously, sometimes guys makes everything more entertaining and more lively. Somehow males are born to entertain the crowd, if you get what i mean.

Look. At. The. Clip. On. His. Head.

HAHAHA Geraldine thought it was very pretty so she took a photo of him and instagrammed it.