Self conscious

Hi wassup guys. I'm ashamed of myself. Actually, i wanted to just eat porridge and survive on that the whole day plus water. Then i saw Jocelyn message. I needed to meet her at Bishan to get my poloroid films. All i could think of when i heard "Bishan" was, gongcha. I then decided to not eat porridge but drink gongcha AND JUST GONGCHA for the whole day.

It was around 5pm when i bought this. So awesome... I'd drink it again if i could tomorrow seriously. I'm like addicted to this shit. I keep craving for it, LOL!!! So yes i really thought i could survive on this. Actually I could. & temptation decided to take over my brain and told me to eat 2 paos(buns). So i ate 2 paos at 8.30pm or so... :( Sobs. SOBS!!!! Even though my total calorie intake today is less than 1000, it is still not enough to pay back for the amount i ate on Saturday, Sunday & Monday!!!!! Sigh. Why am i so calorie conscious all of a sudden. ARGH. All because of the stupid app my mom told me about.

Speaking about food, i cant believe the amount of weight i put on during O level periods. I think i kinda put on like 4kg in 5months or something! INSANITY. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. No seriously. I'm not exxagerating. I'm not the kind that would constantly put on weight like nobody's business. From primary6 to sec1, i gained 3kg. Since it was my puberty stage and all that sort of nonsense, i didn't care. My weight and everything still look pretty acceptable.  From Sec1 to Sec2, I put on like 4kg. That was the most depressing thing ever. LOL wanna know why? Cuz sec2 was the year where i almost got depression and hence the tremendous amount of weight put on. Then after that period, i lost 2kg and my weight stayed that way till O level period.

I ate normally. 2 meals a day. But i think almost every other day i ate fastfood. & that was the period where Sec4s stepped down from their CCA so i had no exercise at all. 4 freaking kilograms in 5 freaking months. That's insane. To me,  it is.

When holidays started, I started eating only one meal a day. HAHA. I guess i was just too addicted to all the shows that i was watching, i forgot what was food. I was called down for the tuberculosis check up shit and i got a positive so i was under medication. Thus i need to go back every month to have a check  up. (NO I GOT NO SIDE EFFECTS.) I realised i lost 4kg. I lost the 4kg that i gained during O levels. YAY!!!!

I. want. to. be. 55. freaking. kilograms. (I am obviously heavier than that right now DUH. lol.) To me, that's the best weight for my height. (Geraldine if you're seeing this, DONT SAY YOU'RE FAT OR ELSE :@)

Here's my growth chart:

Primary 4

Height: 148cm, 45kg

Primary 5

Height: 156cm, 48kg

Primary 6

Height: 160cm, guess yourself LOL.

Secondary 1

Height: 161cm

Secondary 2

Height: 163cm

Secondary 3

Height: 164cm

Secondary 4

Height: 165cm

NOW, 17 YEARS OLD:

Height: still 165cm

DREAM WEIGHT: 55KG.

Damn it. I don't know how am i gonna become 55kg. I dont know. If i stay one meal a day for the entire year, drink water instead of softdrinks, maybe.

I was practicing guitar the whole evening. I really love burning midnight oil. LOL one day before my guitar exam, i then start remembering my scales. Woohoo aint i a genius? HAHA. Seriously... I can only pass the test if i do it this way. Things thats gotta do with memory skills, I always push everything into my head one day before and then spill everything out and FORGET ABOUT IT~

So i havent tuned my guitar for almost a month and i decided to. I took my guitar tuner and started tuning it. Tune and tune and tune....... UNTIL IT GOT EVEN MORE OUT OF TUNED. My tuner was spoilt and i didnt even realise it!!! Sounded so gay i couldnt even bare to play it. Told my guitar teacher about it and she immediately told me to meet her so she could pass me her tuner. & she did. MY SAVIOUR!!!! Couldnt be more grateful, really.