Dance again

Sup y'all

Went to meet Jai for a short while before recital rehearsals. Caught up alittle while eating froyo and went to meet up with Jingwen. Bleh the chocolate area at Plaza Sing is GONEEEEE :( Boooo so sad. I went to buy bubbletea instead and she bought P.OSH's brownie. Haha.

I was itching to dance so badly. This one only dancers can understand.. LOL Jazmin was asking why I keep moving around. CAN'T STOP... Has been like this since the afternoon. Yep I spent half my afternoon watching dance videos. Gosh I don't even know how I can not get bored of it. I can literally spend hours watching dance videos. Well to make you freak, I can watch my own dance videos for more than an hour finding me and other people's mistakes.

Went for Mycs' class and it was so awesome~ The choreo is just so WHEEEE~ So sad... Next week's Mycs' last lesson :( Sigh boohoo can I go for her hip hop class on Saturday too? :( Noooooo I really can't take this in. I can't believe next year's a different teacher. I can't believe we're not gonna have hip hop lessons next year. I can't believe it!!!! I really wanna continue hip hop. Sigh but I just cannot find someone as consistent as I am....

Alright so we stepped out of Mycs class. I barely rested and Jingwen was so excited to go for Desiree's lesson, which was lyrical Jazz. I watched the class from outside before. It was so technical.. I was scared :( So I contemplated for a really long time but I decided to go anyway. No harm done trying new stuff. It was actually really super fun!!!!! LOL I really loved the choreography!! But like she said, this time her choreography was more to the street jazz side. Bleh either ways it's still fun and I hope to go again! Because of this, I'm kinda excited for Jazz next year HAAAAA. Well it actually depends on who's teaching...

I suddenly thought of this in the shower. Miss Melissa told us that she would find a stricter, less difficult teacher for Jazz and Contemp. Then I thought.... Well contemp I understand because it's more technical and you know.... we're not there yet so it's understandable to get a stricter teacher. But Jazz? Hmmmm Mycs tried being strict with us during the first semester and it obviously didn't work. We only got into hip hop during the second semester because she got less stricter in a way.. Like popular dance genres are supposed to be fun and hyper and you know, more of feeling the song. It's not supposed to be scary and make us like BLEH.... YOU GET IT? Sigh why didn't I think of this during the meeting. Lol but then again I might not have said anything.

Another thing I've been thinking about ALOT lately... Why don't I get noticed when I dance? How do people stand out during a performance? HOWWWWW. Comments I get from people are so..... sigh makes me wanna cry. Sigh I've been thinking so much about this and I'm getting nowhere. I remember how last time so many people said I looked good doing this dance called "Bad girls". But I personally thought that it was horrible. Like really... I went to watch this old video that danzpeople filmed of us doing "Bad girls". Holy shit I was not only terrible, I was so fat!!!!!! LOL!!! How could people actually say I look good in that dance.... Boooohooooo what is it that's not making me stand out in a good way...? My fatty-ness? :( My born-this-way face? I really feel like I'm just ...... lol I don't know how to say. You know like good dancers, no matter where you put them, they'd still get noticed cuz you know, they're good! But average dancers, no matter where you put them, even if they got like 5 solos (lol i'm exaggerating bear with me here), you'll still be like invisible!!!!! Aiya to make you relate to this even more, it's like you've put in so much effort into something and yet no one sees the effort and just looks past it. How sad sigh

Guess that's all I wanna say for today. I'm very happy with today's rehearsal. Like even though I was literally bathing in sweat and dying from Andreas' part of the dance, it felt so good after rehearsal. Yay I have nothing on tomorrow and I don't feel good about it cuz I don't like rotting at home. I'm glad that there's dance on Thurs Fri Sat~ I really like the feeling of preparing for a show sobs and its all gonna end when May ends :( Nooooo can I have more shows to prepare for? Meh......