Time to move on

 

Woke up at 9.30 this morning because dad told me to follow them to the koi farm -_- I did only because he said there was buffet. Lol it was so boring and I was so moody I almost killed myself. Stoned there till like 3pm and went home. Stoned at home till 5.30pm and we went parkway parade. Went Crystal jade for dinner and walked around. I just didn't wanna go home so early.... Lol gah I'm never gonna get over this till a week later or something. I'm so sad right now I just can't get over it. She trained all of us till a certain acceptable level and then she just leaves. No this is just..... I don't feel like I'm hanging around because I have other plans ahead. I am just afraid things will not turn out as well as I've planned. I'm already missing the feeling of being in a recital and stuff like that. But it's not the same without Mycs.... Like she's our teacher that was why we went to the recital in the first place. Because other than seeing her at danzpeople we still see her at school. I feel like that's such a privilege and I love having that privilege but we can never have that again :(

 

I don't know if this is gonna work but according to Andrea it does. She told me what she usually do is to cry all out all at once so she wont cry anymore on the day itself. I'm gonna do it right now but I don't know. I really really fucking don't wanna cry tomorrow. I really don't want even though I know I will. I want her to send her off on a happy note. I DONT WANNA FUCKING CRY. Stupid cry baby what the heck stupid -slaps self-

 

I'm really stoning. I want time to freeze right now. Or freeze when we see her tomorrow. I'm flying off to Thailand this Friday but right now I'm not excited for it... I wished she stayed till at least the end of this year... Then she could still do swaggout and danzation and all the other end of year shows that they always do. & I would still be able to attend her classes at danzpeople. Fug this shit I can't continue goodbye