Demoralised ENOUGH

Actually today was a pretty good day. It kinda rained early in the morning when i was still asleep. Felt good but the moment i finished bathing and was about to step out of the house, the sun came up and made me irritated. I don't remember if i've mentioned it in my yesterday's post but the skin on my face is kinda burnt by the sun. It's painful and dry. No it's not acne, there's no bumps. Only dead, dry, painful skin. Ouch? 

Was late for work for 20 minutes because i was kinda unlucky with the transport today. Bus took so long to come, train took longer than usual to come too. Chris started work early today, around the same time as me. Usually he'd come in for work at 1 or so but today's different. :O Oh god you have no clue how lame he was today. Lame-ness level: more than a hundred percent. Even xuejun couldnt stand him. I still like it when he says "At least you're smiling. That's my point." <- HAHA sounds so sweet right?!?! He tried giving me scares many times today but he failed except for once. AND! It's been so long since anyone pinched my cheeks. -_- What the hell, while i was mopping the floor, he was on the way to the kitchen and just pinched BOTH cheeks so easily. I'm like ER?! Oh i don't understand why his hand is so cold after using the tap water. To me, the tap water's temperature is definitely not cold. More like room temperature. Today is just GAY!!! Gay incident 1: He put his cold hands on my cheeks. I FREAKED. Gay incident 2: He put his cold hands on my NECK. Death wtf. Neck is the most..... sensitive part of the body to me omg. Gay incident 3: Actually i dont know if it's ice or it's his hand that's freaking cold. He poked my cheeks with a tissue <- so either his hands were under it and ICE was under it. The coldness is just..... omg. I think he kinda woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. He's just a freaking joke today. 

 So there's this girl, name's Nathalie which i just found out today, is a big fan of Damien. I think i said it before but here's a clearer story. She came to the store again today, asking for Damien and asking the boss why Damien hasnt been working for the past few weeks. Oh my god i've never seen such a straightforward and persistant lady in my life. I couldnt believe that she was also 17. So she kept saying she's damn sad that Damien hasnt been coming to work and can't disturb him. Then suddenly she saw Chris. "Eh! But i can disturb him right? What's your name?" Ok..... She totally just switched targets like that. Like i've said, she's very straightforward. For the whole time she was there, she kept saying how she felt about us. She said about how weird Christopher is and looks-wise too. Oh my god? I was standing beside Christopher all the while so she suddenly turned to me and say "Actually you look very pretty. You've got the 女人味 " I kinda got a shock and said "HUH? NO." But she kept insisting and Xuejun gave me a fuck face cuz she just couldn't agree to what Nathalie said. I felt very weird because she just kept staring straight into my eyes and i'm like "brrrrrrrr this is so weird. -looks down and walks away-" 

 After that, xuejun just couldn't stop demoralizing me. I really hate it when people say how ungirly i am or how ugly i look or WHATEVER NONSENSE. I know it! I DON'T NEED OTHER PEOPLE TO TELL ME HOW I LOOK, HOW FAT I AM, HOW UNGIRLY I AM. I'm working in a fucking bubbletea shop. How girly does she want me to be, SERIOUSLY?! Does she want me to go all bimbotic and weak and always need help in things?!? What the fuck? If that's the case i might as well stay home and rot. Why go work in a bubbletea shop? I don't get it. She constantly calls me fat. OH what about you?!?!?!? No matter what i do i get insulted. My self esteem is already lower than the ground, What else does she want? I know she's kidding at some point of time BUT THERE'S A FUCKING, FUCKING, FUCKINGGGGGGGGGGG LIMIT. 

 I don't understand why her words are fucking annoying me either. WELL OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE I'M A GIRL. Only fucking girls remember negative remarks and forgets to positive ones. NO MATTER HOW UNGIRLY I AM, I STILL AM A GIRL AND I HOPE SHE RESPECTS THAT. I don't care if her orientation's not straight. I KNOW I AM AND THEREFORE I AM A GIRL. Fuming mad everytime i think of it. I think i'm gonna get insulted for the next few months. Sigh. This is so not helping. 

When work ended, 3 of us walked to Simei together. I suspect Christopher's bipolar. The moment he stepped out of the shop he became damn quiet. While walking, he walked infront of both of us like he didn't knew us. I was like "Wtf is wrong with him" in my mind. At some point of time Xuejun did try to start conversations with him but he just totally ignored her. Oh my god? So when we reached Simei, only me and him were taking the train. That was one of the most awkward moments of my life. WHY DID IT FEEL SO WEIRD TODAY?! I tried breaking the ice. I asked why he suddenly became so quiet and moody. He just didn't want to say, but he blurted out a few words which didn't made any sense to me. "Work and outside different." Er? ER????? Totally bipolar symptoms. From Simei - Kembangan, we were totally not talking at all, like strangers on the train. Worse moments of my life, really no joke. I was praying the train would go faster so i could quickly alight at my stop. Out of the blue, when we were about to leave Kembangan, he suddenly talked. "Er 2 more stops?" I said "Yeah? -attempting to read his mind-" "Oh so your art school right, after that what you gonna do?" <- This is the randomest shit ever. Why did he suddenly try starting a conversation? You mean only at that moment he realised that the atmosphere was damn awkward? Oh my god i was seriously in a confused state of mind. K i just didn't care and just went with the flow of the weird conversation. Oh god i can't believe it. Now i really wanna know if he's bipolar. 

Alright i need to stop writing already. If i continue, i think your eyes will really drop out soon. Hahaha.... Why do i write so much anyway. I always have so much nonsense to say huh? :B