It's the start of a long weekend. Alright no it has already started since yesterday. I had no school yesterday. It was my stoned day though I had reunion dinner at night.
I feel so empty. It's not a matter of how long I've known him. Or how long I've felt this way. There's just a certain special feeling that I can't seem to explain. Why do i feel even worse since yesterday even though I have so many distractions going on? It's like the more people I talk to, the more I feel like no one else is like him and I just want to know him more than anything else in the world. This is crazy..... What the hell is my heart doing to me?! :'( I felt like I was given a chance but the chance was somewhat taken away from me? How can that even happen? I wish there was a way to turn back time. Or maybe just freeze time. I just want to go back to December. Just let me :'(
I try so hard to act like nothing's wrong, only to be picked on by my ballet teacher like crazy on Wednesday. Gah I cannot. Hiding my feelings is so not my forte. When am I gonna stop getting affected by this....? :'( I feel like shit every now and then. I don't even know how I can stop feeling like this. Drowning myself in alcohol doesn't help. Sleeping early every night doesn't help. Talking to my friends doesn't help. Laughing at stupid things doesn't help either. Because at the end of the day thoughts still return to that one person. AM I RETARDED OH MY FUCKING GOD I can't believe myself. I really can't
I wish for a miracle to happen. Add me back in your life. Restart.
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