Ahhhhh XT's classes ALWAYYYYYS kill me. Why why why but I love it LOL. I love the feeling of being so tired. I love our girls hip hop song!?!?!? Like oh my god he was dissing that song and then he chose that song?! LOL so funny. Sigh I want to perfect the dance.... I don't know how, I really don't know but I'll make sure I'm not the one that stands out in a bad way. I guess that's all I can do right. Just learnt the choreo yesterday so I can't exactly perform full out because I'm obviously not familiar with my steps nor my blocking. Oh my god the blocking.. Make me stress I don't even know where's my line sometimes. My compliment also makes me confused. I love the guys' dance too!!! I have faith we'll look good enough to be on stage. I'm looking forward to it. BUT.. I have to lose allll the weight that i've gained over the past 4 months. WHY?! Cuz of the Yfest costume. Sigh people only need to worry about their tummies being exposed. But I need to worry about my boobs, my arms and my tummy. NOT FUNNY. Sigh gonna make sure I lose them all. I can do it
Spent the whole afternoon with Jingwen Edem and Andrea. Hear them talk I very stressed also. LOL SHAN IS FOREVER EVER STRESSED OVER THE STUPIDEST THINGS. No this is not stupid ok this concerns my future. Sigh what is life
I slept at 8.30pm yestesday!!! BELIEVE IT MAN BELIEVE IT. 8 FREAKING 30 PM IN THE NIGHTTTT. Amazing or amazing???? I woke up at 4-ish in the morning but I was still so tired. I tried picking up my phone cuz I thought I was awake but nooooo. I dropped my phone and I continued sleeping. LOL slept all the way till 11ish. Awaken by Andrea's phone call. I didn't even really know how I woke up by the call because I silent my phone. FOR THE FIRST TIME TOO. I didn't want people to disturb my sleep so I silent it. & I still woke up because of her call. Alamak.
Followed her to a very ulu place at serangoon north and I was so damn bored for 40minutes. Not helping that my neck was aching like crazy.. LOL went AMK after that to catch Maleficent!!! YAY I'M SO HAPPY THE MOVIE DIDN'T DISAPPOINT ME!!! I've been waiting for that movie for almost 2 years okay!!!! Oh my god~~~ Knew it'd be awesome. Such a beautiful movie omg I'm so tempted to spoil it over here. YOU SEEEEE VILLAINS HAVE HEARTS TOO, EVERYONE DOES OKAY. Muacks muacks muacks I'd totally watch it again~~ I definitely love Maleficient more than Sleeping Beauty. That's for sure. I loved how they made the movie the Villain the star of the show. I love it la guys just go watch it okay you'll love it.
GUYS YA HAPPY FOR ME? I finally cut my fugly long hair after..... 2 years. LMAO the last time I cut my hair was.... November 2012. Yes I chopped off almost 6inches off. Sounds like ALOOOT but no. My hair length kinda reached my belly button before I chopped it. & now it's like... My boob area? It feels short on me but I think.... No one would even notice it. Hmmmm hahaha!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I'VE BEEN WANTING TO CUT MY HAIR K. But people keep saying what I have so little hair and I look better in long hair. And I also think I won't suit short hair because my face so big and so round.... BUT WHATEVER SO MANY SPLIT ENDS I also cannot stand it anymore. It's not short hair anyway.. & I didn't layer it. So it'll look fuller lol -_- Yeah that's that...~
And of course, I shall end off the day with yet another article that matches my heart so well as of now. :) Goodnight xx
"Listen though, I didn’t think we’d last. I didn’t have any illusions that we’d ever be in any relationship — I wouldn’t have wanted that. I did assume that I would be in your proximity long enough — I was content in my fascination with you — that I wouldn’t mind. You were the only one I wanted. I held you so much above other boys. Why? Why did I pretend that you were different or that I was different? I wanted so much to imagine we weren’t a typical “just acceptable for college thing.” I wanted to think your texts, your smiles, your gestures meant more. When your facade was lowered, I refused to see you for you. I blocked it out of memory, excusing it as some temporary misfire. Those hissing and shouting from the sidelines — I didn’t heed them — they didn’t know — they couldn’t grasp what I was feeling with you, what you made me feel when I was in your arms. When I was the object of your affections.
You made my blood rush, my head pound, my stomach go numb. No one else did that for me, to me. I wanted you to be wrapped up in me. I wanted to end every night with you. I wanted to discover you. You were fascinating. I never understood how you ticked. And that irked me to my core. I pretended I always wanted nothing more than friendship — really, I think I wanted proximity to try to figure you out. You were always this above-earth thing in my head. Something I wrote about and thought about that ingrained you and made you something of a legend in my mind. I wasn’t resentful you took my innocence, although I cry for the lost innocent girl that once was. Who knew nothing of how to act and what to expect in the chaos that was college.
And now? Any semblance to me that you cared was only half-formed, half-carried through. I would always overanalyze, overthink what you meant — trying to make it seem more than it was. I never told you. I liked to believe I was confrontational but whenever there was opportunity — I pushed it back down afraid of what I might find out if I dug too deep. There were days I would avoid seeing you or would see you but never say anything. I remember once we stood side by side, never greeted each other, never exchanged a word and it stuck with me all day. The thing is, I tried. Not as hard as I should have. But my apathy towards appearing vulnerable and desperate steered me clear from acting on instinct. You were all in my head. The mind of a innocent girl who never knew any different — who was blinded with how much you appeared, never truly looking back to see how much you weren’t."
- If you were never mine, why does it still hurt so much?
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