Knew it was too good to be true when I thought work was gonna get any better.... Now they're keeping our phones from 2 onwards.... I really can't do this. I hate my job I hate the people there... If I was earning maybe 1k more I'd consider handling their shit. But fuck this shit is not worth.... 

hais... Will really use my weekend to plan my next few months... If someone will really accept me as a instructor I'll take it and leave this hell... I'd really rather be stressing on dance steps at least there's music there's my phone and someone's learning sth from me :'(

Really need a getaway. Reallyyyyyy T_T 

Wish I was a positive person. Wish I was full of light and full of happiness despite all the bad things going on. Why can't I see the good in things like I see the good in people? Why is it that when it comes to me everything is just depressing but when it comes to other people I always see that theres always hope for them? Give me a reason to carry on.. Give me an event to look forward to.. I hate that I'm always self pitying myself. I'm not saying I have the suckiest life. I'm just saying I hate to live like a robot. I don't want to do this anymore. 

I don't want to grow up.... :'( In a few weeks I'll be 20.... No longer a teen anymore.. I don't want... Let me be young forever.. I haven't lived.. 

I miss all my friends. I miss days when I step into sch and I see all 6 of them... I miss those days so much... Can time just freaking rewind.. 

Why have I become like this.. Last year I lost myself amidst of all the bullshit that has happened. This year I lost my direction in life. Basically I'm still lost.. I Like many times I'm just speechless with myself.. There's nothing much I wish to say because there's seriously no point in telling anyone.. There's no use. No one can take this shit away. No one can bring me away from this hellhole. No one can make me feel like all this is nothing. 

Mahve one day all will fall into place.. I don't know when.. Maybe one day.. Sigh.