Yesterday was my day of realization. I was sleeping last night with him and it felt so good I just didn't wanna wake up... But I had to because I had to go home.. :'( And it made me really sad. So it's the beginning of July which is supposedly my second favourite month (first is December if you don't already know). But when I come to think of events that are going to happen within the next few months, I'm just really not looking forward to it.
Baby's gonna start his JCC course yet again... Because he gave it up for his wisdom tooth in the beginning of the year. he's now doing it again.. Gosh :( It's gonna be 3 tough months.... And 9 long days without him not even texting... I remember those days when he booked out all he could do was sleep because he was just that tired... Literally history gonna repeat again.
He'd be missing out on my graduation ceremony which I won't deny that I'm sad about... I mean it's nth much I'm just gonna get a cert but it's like an event I wish my boyfriend/future husband(for his case) could witness.. Kinda saddening...
I mean he's gonna miss my birthday too no doubt but I guess it's okay... Since I don't even do much on birthdays and like he's gonna be with me every year (I HOPE). But yeah.... :( Sad
Then right after he finishes he course he's gonna go Australia for 3 weeks of training... I'm spending my October alone yet again.... Second year guys. You can go archives and read 2014's October... Same thing different place... It's gonna be so torturing I don't even know how I'm gonna survive. Honestly I wasn't even that in love with him when he went Germany. I told myself if I could survive that 3 weeks without him and still stay in contact with him (without straying away to other guys), he's the one. I made it...
By this year October it would've been exactly a year since he went Germany and like, I can't explain this.... I just can't bear to see him go for 3 weeks.. I just remember how torturing it was last year makes me really wanna cry. It was so bad I had no motivation for sch no motivation for anything I just wanted to stay in bed so time would fly and he'd be back. And that was when we weren't even together yet.... I can't imagine now.. :'(
It's gonna be 4 long torturing months from now till then... He keeps telling me how he's gonna have lots of free time after that but what's the use.... I still wouldn't be free.. Sometimes he doesn't get how some things must be done there and then. Like today, almost died at work because I had fever and like fuck I was feeling so cold and my nose just kept running and the workload was soooo much. And he told me "When I'm out I will sayang you ok" When you're out I'll be fine already. If the hug was given me there and then, it'd be 10 times more meaningful than when he came out... I know it's kinda hard to understand but IM SURE MY FRIENDS UNDERSTAND ME AND KNOWS WHAT IM SAYING. Although I know it's impossible but yeah, a girl can wish..
It's been so long since i last cried over him booking in... It's coming back to me all over again. I'm controlling.. I just don't wanna think about it but it's hard. Ahhhhhhh what should I do how can I survive
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