Sleepless every night. Hopeless mother fucking life. It's really just WHY IS IT SO HARD TO BE HAPPY 

I feel so tortured everyday in this house. The aura and the vibes it gives me. How much energy it drains out of me. Omg fuck I'm really jealous of happy families. Ok end of story. I think I'm really just meant to be in this horrible state and like my boyfriend can't even help me or be emphatic because he would then tell me he don't even have his family by his side so I can't even say anything. This sucks ok 

Where's my happy land? Everything just makes me feel sucky. To watch snapchats of classmates hang out together without a single jio. WHERES THE JIO. I don't even fucking know what makes me happy anymore. I fucking hate this. 

My family is fucked up. Me and my boyfriend aren't really settling because who knows we might quarrel anytime again. Sucks. 

I feel so homesick. But I don't even feel home anywhere. I don't. Where do I belong? 

Feel mother fucking vulnerable. When the relationship becomes dull no one puts in the effort to make it livelier. We're all simply dying. I'm just hoping a car will bang me anytime soon. Omg :'( 

I'm just sad okay. I feel so alone. I really do. And it sucks. This emptiness. It's not going away. All these so called problems are tearing me apart. 

As fine as we can be now, somethings are bound to happen again. Maybe when we meet. Maybe when we don't have time for each other. I don't know. Just not assured at all. Just hate feeling like this. I can't decide whether to 看开 and not think so much and let it be and maybe we'll just drift away, or just feel fucked up about it. I really don't. Argh please :'( I feel sucky. I really do.