I look at myself and I know for a fact that I am not healthy, mentally. He doesn’t help me at all. Like others say, he has no patience to take care of me. He doesn’t understand my needs nor does he find the kindness to. He only believes that I am the cause of this relationship ruining. He doesn’t mention how I got here. What kind of traumatic incidences are haunting me. If i had to name I have to use more than 2 hands. “If you didn’t do this, this wouldn’t happen.” I could say the same for you. If YOU didn’t do what u did in the beginning, NONE of this would’ve happened. You never understand how serious of a condition it has become. & When it is ur responsibility to take care of it, you push it away when it gets overwhelming. For real? 

I’m very scared. I don’t feel safe because I don’t know when you can betray me again. Betraying me can even just mean you not standing on the same side as me. Betraying can just mean you. it respecting me enough when you’re mad. This is you not taking care of me. 

I keep trying to lay low. I keep trying to calm down. Tell myself let it play out. Don’t overreact. But how though? I keep trying to believe the best in you. It is you who prove it otherwise. & Then u blame me for wanting to know everything? I don’t know how. 

I’m very stressed to know what’s inside that app. Deep in me I just wish for the love of god that app isn’t even on your phone. What happens if it is? U gonna deny it? U gonna flare???? This is just not right.