I need a new life.

Went Jurong East for a swim with Liqian, Yvonne and Charlotte today. It was so fun. I love the pool. I love the quietness over there. It's almost empty man, seriously. Felt so good. Bumped into afew Bpsians outside the complex~ What a coincidence! We then headed to West mall for dinner. Charlotte's boyfriend came when we were almost done with our food. Reached home at about 10.

I want a life-changing-experience. I want to befriend princesses, queens and kings. A part of me wants to be a princess, because afterall i'm still a girl. I grew up playing barbie dolls, fighting with my brother over the smallest stuff, whining about every single thing i hated. I love to play dress up games. I used to play with my mom's make up. I also loved to play pretend-to-be-disney-princesses-games with my childhood friend. But god didn't want me to grow up to be a pretty young lady. He didn't gave me the body to embrace. He didn't give me the face people would love to see. He didnt give me hands a lady should have. He didn't give me the skin a princess should have. From young, i had scars everywhere, i had tanned lines because of swimming too much under the scorching sun and i was born hairy. What? Seriously.....    

I wonder why i'm always not invited to any parties. By that i don't mean lame BBQ outings or some HDB flat bbq shit. I want to attend parties.. :( Parties that are properly planned beforehand.. I love it when people plan things. This is probably why i feel like there isn't a need for me to dress up. DRESS UP FOR WHO TO SEE? ME? What the hell....

Sigh i don't know why recently i'm having such thoughts. I feel like i haven't found where i belong. Ok obviously i haven't. I don't know where i stand. I'm not rich, neither am i poor. I'm not smart, neither am i stupid. I don't belong to the upper class society, i don't belong to the lower class either. I'M JUST, IN THE MIDDLE AND I HATE IT. I seriously don't know what has gotten into me lately. I think i've been watching too much shows at home. I NEED A SOCIAL LIFE. CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME OUT? I'm crying for help here. CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?

They say, if i can't even love myself, how can i even expect others to love me? Yeah.... I guess i'll have to love myself first even though i really don't know what's there to love.