Reflection

Well. So I guess this is another night of insomnia. It's currently 2:53AM SGT and I'm just stoning away. To put it in better terms, I THINK I'm reflecting on myself. Hmmm I think this is just gonna be one heck of a lengthy post all crapping about my life so, you can skip it if you aren't interested. I just need somewhere to pen my thoughts down and I decided here is obviously a good place.

Ok. I spent 3hours thinking and tweeting nonsense. My mind was overtaking my entire soul and body.

Aglin just sent me a video link of our dance routine. We recorded it down so we could see where's our mistakes and such. I saw the link, and I got depressed. Major epic fail. I don't know if the night mood is kinda affecting me but I'm sure how I look when I'm dancing affected my whole night. I know it's subconsciously affecting me. I feel it. What should I do? I really don't know. My left thigh muscle is hurting so badly I DONT KNOW HOW TO FIX IT.

Sunday's the competition. People who don't understand the true meaning of dance won't know how to appreciate our routine. Yes I admit I used to dislike watching contemporary dances or anything related to that genre. But that was the past. As time passes, my likes and dislikes start to change. I've started to appreciate the true meaning of dance art. Every contemporary move means something. How I dance portrays what kind of emotion I'm trying to show. So if I dance badly, it means I'm not listening to the music at all, and that is bad.

Recently, I've been talking to this new friend of mine whom I've made. He's been nice, encouraging me and all. Just a lil info about him, he likes club music and those sort of upbeat songs, my kind of songs. I know he can't appreciate dance. I told him I was going to Lasalle. All he could think of was whether I could choose to dance hiphop or contemp. If I'm going to an art school, obviously I'm doing something more technical, isn't it? In his head, I'm just a hiphop dancer and I'll always be COOL. C'mon guys, being a dancer is not about being cool. Especially to those who think knowing how to dance hip hop style is so cool. Even hip hop has its own dance names and basic moves that you gotta learn! It's not so easy as you guys think it is. No matter how i tell him dance is not only about hip hop, he doesnt get it. Sigh. Wait. I dont understand why I bother explaining so much to someone who doesn't appreciate. LOL. Hmmm that includes my parents. They don't like dance at all. Everytime they ask me about dance, they think IM FOOLING AROUND. No I'm fucking not.

You gotta accept the fact that dancing is also studying and it's not all about playing. I'm not playing with my life. It might not sound fun to you but to me it is. I get bruises everywhere. I get exhausted after afew runs of the whole item. But i enjoy every moment of it. Passion. Its the passion in me that keeps me going. I still got so much to learn. I want to be successful in the future. I HAVE TO. To prove them wrong.

I also know you guys have the mentality that ballet/contemp dancers have to be skinny and graceful looking. I know I can never achieve that. All I hope for is to look good when I dance. That's all. Honestly, Aglin's my inspiration. This lady who keeps saying how shitty her dancing skills are when I'm way worse. To me, dancers who knows dance techniques are better than dancers who have only groove. SHE HAVE BOTH. I'm lucky, really seriously extremely lucky to find someone like her whom I can click so well with (I know I've said it before.). It's just a miracle to me, to be able to feel close to someone I've known for barely a month.

Life just keeps going no matter how happy or sad I am. I need to move forward. Forget those useless crap, useless people. Remember important things, important people. Be happy as often as I can.

You know............ I can keep going on until it's 4am. LOL by then this post would have probably 10k words already :/ It's 3:26AM SGT now and I've gotta get up at 7AM SGT later! So, I think I shall hit the sack already. I hope you understand me better after this post. I know I don't have the ability to completely bring out how I feel in words but I guess you get the gist of it. Goodnight.