SIGH

I. Am. Fucking. Drained.

Yesterday and today, i was the only staff who was on duty, accompanied by the boss. I did the cashier work, the cleaning, the making of drinks, the closing. EVERYTHING ME. Well, the food's done by the boss though. I don't know nuts about the food stuff. Fml literally. Xuejun wasnt sick at all. She just gave a stupid bloody excuse that she was just to skip work. She went partying like a mad bitch that night. Wtf? How is she sick in any way?

Yesterday was the worse day of my week. I don't know why. Everything was so dull and i was just feeling mad depressed. Couldnt stand it. Actual plan was to go swimming alone but my dad asked Winnie to accompany me. So she did. I was supposed to swim away my sadness. Not only it didnt work, i saw a Josef doppelganger while swimming. Ok i'm so lame but seriously. Let me start my grandmother story on what happened.

I was casually swimming and swimming and swimming until suddenly i saw this skinny long bodied guy who kept swimming passed me like a freaking fish. I totally mumbled "WHAT THE FISH" underwater. I swim 1 lap = he swim 2 laps (or more i didnt really count). To me he looked damn familiar. So i decided to stop swimming and wait for him to swim back like a fish again to see his face. While waiting, i was telling Winnie about the fish. Oh my god i talked too much. I didnt know he was already beside me(but obviously i didnt say anything that made him think we were talking about him so..... plus we were at least 2 lanes apart from him.) LMFAO he kept looking at my direction so i was like "DANG I SWEAR HE LOOKS DAMN FAMILIAR. DOES HE KNOW ME OR DID I FORGET WHO HE LOOKED LIKE?!?!!" When i was about to get a closer look, he swam off already. So i swam too, CASUALLY. When i reached the other end, i saw him swimming back at my direction. LIKE A FISH. I couldn't stand it. I wasnt competing with him. Why was he making me so stressed!!!! After awhile i just continued swimming until the complex was closing. There was one awkward lap where he was swimming backstroke(still damn fast) while i'm still swimming casually. I think he knew i was coming and he totally slowed down and stopped at the end of the lap. I'm like SHIT AWKWARD WHAT TO DO because that end had no one else except him, and me. . . There were awkward moments when only two of us were alone. I'm just stunned honestly. He gave me such a bloody weird feeling. The kind of feeling that i really can't describe la. You gotta be there to feel it. "DO I KNOW HIM?" "WHY IS HE SO FAMILIAR?" "WHY HE KEEP GIVING ME STARES LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY HELLO?" "WHY HE KEEP LOOKING AT MY DIRECTION????" Seriously who would keep swimming and then look at your direction first then touch the end of the pool? There was this one lap where he totally came into the end of the lane i was resting at. We were 5cm away from each other. FIVE C M! Oh my god totally shocked me. Whatever it was, he either submerge from the water on the left side of right side of me. I just kept getting awkward tingling feelings. Yes he really looked like Josef. I'm just speechless at the resemblance, tsktsk.

Today was better than yesterday by a bit i can say. Boss was very lame during work which kinda kept making me laugh. He said i looked very tired. He literally pronounced it was TEEEE-RED(Ti-Red). I just didnt understand and he gave me a wtf stare. So he spelt it out for me AND I STILL COULDNT GET IT. Until 5 seconds later i went WTH OH TIRED AH. LOL!!!! I'm seriously a slow reactor. Went home with boss cuz he was going to NUS and it was on the way. Seriously it wasnt as awkward as being with Christopher the bipolar guy. I am now praying my heart out that i will never take another train/bus ride with Christopher alone. Worse awkwardness ever.

I gotta be up by 6.30am tomorrow :( Gonna work early in the morning with Xuejun because the boss wouldnt be around in the morning so i'm like taking over him.... SIGH. Back to being tortured and insulted by xuejun. & also hearing her stupid stories about her clubbing and partying and drinking and whatever thai girl nonsense. Oh my god i need help.

I wanna be free and happy. 

I wanna get out of Singapore and enjoy my holidays instead of being depressed every night. 

I like the feeling of being uncontactable. It makes me escape reality for awhile.

I need someone to be there for me when i'm feeling sad, happy, tired, depressed, whatever fucking emotions. 

I don't like friends who lol me at every sentence that i say. 

I don't like friends who reply my message 5hours after i text them and feels that i'm alright with it. 

I don't like friends who change after mixing with different groups of people. 

I don't like friends who makes me an option.

I don't like you fucking assholes. 

Sometimes being alone is better than being with the wrong people.

I saw this on Facebook. 

This is one of my most important life principle: Never chase love, affection or attention. If it isnt given freely by another person, it isn't worth having.