2 in 1

HI!!! I'm back i'm back! My knees are bruised and it hurts so badly. I don't even know how i hurt it. My thigh muscles are in so much pain right now but i'm still gonna stretch later on. I am bloody determined to get my center split. DETERMINED.

So my bad mood on Tuesday night was brought forward to the whole Wednesday morning. Couldnt concentrate during ballet because I wasn't mentally present at all. Soul was drifting away. I feel it but i really don't know what i was thinking. Just went through ballet class that way.

The next lesson was viewpoints. We only had 15minutes of class and the teacher ended class because he felt that everyone was doing the workout half heartedly. Honestly I know i was doing everything half heartedly. I didn't have any energy to do ANYTHING. Soul was still not present at the moment. Whole class sat in a circle and Jingwen started talking to us. She's the leader of our class, just so you know. I don't know why she kept asking me to say something. I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. I was already feeling so moody and irritated with how lousy i am at ballet. Nothing was going through my mind except "fml how am i gonna be good at ballet. it's not like i'm not trying. i fucking am but i don't see results." Obviously i couldnt say that out. I just couldnt. If I did, I would've cried because i was already about to burst into tears thinking of how lousy I am. Then Jingwen and the rest just kept asking me to say something damn! After awhile everything started to get damn bloody emotional. The foreign students were talking about how faraway they were from home and we're their only family in this foreign country. Tears just flew out. Fml. Wasted my energy from controlling the tears the fall before that. I still cried. WHY. WHY EVER SINCE I CAME TO LASALLE I JUST KEEP CRYING. I should bloody stop. So yeah we kinda sorted out things.

It was lunch after that. Before contemp class started, we did some warm ups as a whole class with awesome background music. Suddenly the unity became so good. The whole warm up routine felt damn fun. Totally enjoyed it~ Miss Susan still couldnt teach us due to her leg injury but she made us do somemore warm ups while waiting for Miss Melissa to come. After class ended, stretched abit and went to bathe.

Performance project was just that. We presented our blood diamond song. It was very repetitive. & we kinda didn't had enough time to think of the ending. Ok maybe we did have time but my group's time management sucks to the core lol. We brainstormed more to make it look better and then class ended.

Had Astons for dinner then went back to school to slack. The girls were discussing some group project thingy for Asian dance. I didn't do anything because none of my groupmates were present. So i just slacked in the studio, looking at Issac and his 2 other friends pop like mad. At about 9.30, we went to the frass to find Andrea Cheryl Adi and Edem. They were having fun at the frass!!! Priscilla and Jingwen went off while i just joined in the fun at the frass. Did lots of nonsense till about 11pm and went home.

Ballet lesson was okay okay today. Hip hop lesson was also okay okay. Art history was actually interesting at first but it started to get boring and i fell asleep. SIGH SO UNCOMFORTABLE. I must bring portable pillow every Thursday. LOL Class ended and we had an hour's break. Got irritated with Andrea because she was so drifty drifty. She asked me "you wanna go gongcha?" I replied, "oh you want? OK LETS GO!" So we went. Then when we reached there, she didn't go to gongcha. She got mad because nobody's answering her call. I asked her again if she wanted gongcha and she didn't want already. So i was like okay.... I suggested 15minutes. She got mad before walking into 15minutes because Cher and Priscilla walked down the stairs and ignored Andrea even when she repeated her question twice. So when we stepped into 15minutes, she couldnt decide on what she wanted to eat. Blah blah blah dilly dally dilly dally, we ended up going 7/11 to get quick food. She told me to stop shouting at her. I know she's kinda pissed off with some minor issues but i was not in an extremely good mood either so i couldnt exactly like act as a happy child and cheer her up. I'm just not good at hiding my emotions. Oh well all's good all's good! We just have bad-temper-times here and there it's normal~

Performance project was damn bloody boring and sleepy. I swear i almost fell asleep waiting for the group members to come up with a conclusion to the damn song. We performed it to Dayal and he kinda liked it!!! I actually think it's quite funny too. HAHA. Mr Jenkin made us choose what roles we wanna do for the project. Eg. Stage Management, Lighting, Dance, Costume, Sounds etc etc. Dance's queue was the longest. So he made the whole queue of dance join other category. Me Priscilla and Louisa went to the costume one. Lol, so random and random. Had some awkward "bonding" session for 15minutes and we were released after that.

Found out that Shafiq was feeling upset over something from Andrea. At first i thought it was nothing serious. Went over to hug him goodbye and ask him what happened. His eyes were so teary :'( Made me felt so sad. "No don't ask me later i cry..." <- This sentence made me even more sad. He left the room and i thought he left. But when we went out, he was hiding in one corner waiting for afiq alone. Oh my god my heart so pain. I could feel his sadness everytime he tried to fake a smile. HOW COME.... Andrea and Jingwen tried to cheer him up but it didnt exactly work. I tried but i obviously failed because i suck at cheering people up and i hate myself for this really. Millie came over and he broke down completely....... I saw everything. & i did nothing. I don't know what i should do :'( Heart just so pain. He felt very demoralised (cuz of ballet i think) :'( Sigh this poor boy. I totally know how he feels but i just don't know how to console him. Affected my mood throughout dinner. Kept thinking how he was cuz I DID NOTHING TO HELP. Hate this. Hate myself for not being able to cheer a sad friend up.

Had dinner opposite school with Cheryl Louisa Issac Edwin Andrea Priscilla and Jingwen. This uncle who was serving us, asked Edwin in chinese "You are the guy from the tv right?" Edwin bluffed him and said no. Then he was so persistent, "Oh you really look like the guy on tv. There is this guy in this show that looks like you." Edwin still kept denying! After awhile he said yes. LOL then the uncle "hahaha yeah okay *said something that i didnt hear* -walks away-"

After dinner, Shafiq Afiq and Amirul walked out of school and we all went to talk to them. Shafiq looked better!!!! Yay not feeling super happy because i'm not one of them that really cheered him up but glad enough that he's not that emotional anymore. Went back to school because Prissy and co wanted to practice hiphop which is gonna be graded tomorrow (again). Afiq and Shafiq came to find us after they bought their dinner. Had random chats and it was fun. :) Brightened up my night~ Yay they always do. We stayed there till about 11plus and left the school. Walked to bugis with them and reached home at about 12.30? Lol my phone battery when dead the moment i wanted to call my mom to open the gate. What the hell what right timing man...

Tomorrow's FRIDAY!!!! IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD DAY PLEASE LET IT BE A GOOD DAY YAY OKAY GOODNIGHT IT'S ALMOST 2AM. I STILL NEED TO STRETCH AND PACK MY BAG AND SLEEEEEEP!!!