Rock-bottom

I woke up late yesterday. I totally ignored my alarm and continued sleeping till I received a text from Andrea. SHE ALSO WOKE UP LATE. God.. Reached school 15minutes later and was practically sleep walking throughout ballet. Soul wasn't even in class. Think I rushed too much that I left my soul at home. Hip hop was after ballet and I woke up immediately. Wow she taught us like 7 eights of choreo in one lesson. Omg Mycs I love you. I love you for training my brain to work so fast.

Went to Prata place to eat Prata and rushed back to school for art history. Ruishan's and Sufyan's presentation was superrrrr interesting!!! So many wow factors in their presentation but it was not what Dayal wanted. Sufyan kinda took info from Wikipedia even though Dayal clearly stated that Wikipedia is not to be used.

Had improv after a looooong time. God it was so boring. Melissa made us repeat the same nonsense time and time again. God so boring. We were all so tired from our schedules. Then bitchy Melissa got bitchy and started making us run around the frass like crazyass nutheads and started talking to us in a bitchy way. God can't stand her. Then had OZ rehearsal with the musical theatre students. The run was not so bad. Of course... Cuz it was polished by Tony, the person in charge of the musical theatre students. So long as Melissa doesn't polish us, we're all good. I swear.

Went walking around Bugis with Jingwen after that. Both of us fell in love with the same Adidas pants.... God no it was MEEE who saw it first and then when I showed her she went all "AWW OMG YA IT'S DAMN NICE!!! I WANT!!" LOL the guy inside the store was damn funny. When she went to try the pants, she made this sound effect and the guy copied her. HAHAHA so funny omg. While she was inside, we kinda chatted awhile. He asked me if we were dancers. I told him yeah and he asked me if our studios hold like events and stuff. so think he meant like "Danzpeople/Oschool/Studiowu kinda studios. So I told him we were kinda like from a dance school, like an arts school Lasalle. I was expecting a more normal answer but instead he corrected my sentence. LOL? He said "Oh, No you ARE from a dance school you're not KINDA from a dance school." I laughed it away and he asked if we went for competitions or not. I said maybe others did outside school cuz we aren't from any crew etc. Funny man.

Went around hunting for iPad mini covers again but to no avail :( I think I gotta wait longer. There's no iPad covers around yet!!!

Went home after that and spent an hour on art history. Since I woke up late, I decided to sleep earlier that night. So around 12.30 I stopped researching and fell asleep.

BUT I STILL WOKE UP LATE. Today was even later. By the time I finished preparing for school, it was already 9. AND IM SUPPOSED TO REACH CLASS BY 9!!! So I texted Melissa and told her I was late cuz I didn't hear my alarm. Yeah not a very good excuse but at least I was truthful and I BOTHERED TO TELL HER, NO? Her bitchy reply: Sorry but who are you? Maybe you need 2 alarms. Wtf she didn't know who is it and she's already so bitchy. Omg I could totally imagine her saying that sentence I swear.

Reached jitterbugs at like 9.20 and they already started of course. My eyes was hurting like shit because of the sucky contact lenses. Left eye was sooooo damn bloody red. Went to the toilet and Yaqi tried helping me but it didn't work. Melissa (classmate not teacher) came and she cried... Probably cuz she felt stressed and demoralized. Comforted her and then she tried helping me with my eyes too. I know she had the same problem as me before cuz she uses the same brand of contacts as me. Aw thank you Mel :)

We had to dance one by one that freaking Latin dance. So not long after I returned from the toilet, it was my turn already. I performed with one freaking sore eye and I tried so hard smiling. But Melissa was shouting like nobody's fucking business and messed up the countings in my head so I got lost halfway through. Of course i couldn't smile anymore. Omg bitch you don't need to shout. -.- Then we did an actual run with everyone inside. Omg she just couldn't stop shouting at me. "IM LOOKING AT YOU SHANETTE. SMILE. BETTER SMILE. MORE MORE MORE! BIGGER STEPS BIGGER STEPS. MORE MORE MORE!!!!! IM STILL LOOKING AT YOU!" fuck you.

She then stopped us and corrected this part where me and Jingwen leads the walking part, It's easier for Jingwen to walk faster because they are facing the direction that we're gonna walk in whereas my group is facing the back. So Melissa asked me why is there always a traffic jam there. I didn't even know what she meant like traffic jam. I didn't even bang into Jingwen what. What traffic jam is she talking about? So I asked what she meant. AND SHE REPLIED ME IN THAT BITCHY MANNER AGAIN. "IM ASKING WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A TRAFFIC JAM WHERE YOU AND JINGWEN ARE COMING TO THE FRONT. WHAT IS GOING ON THERE? IS THERE A REASON? OR YOUR FEET JUST CAN'T STEP? SO? IS THERE A REASON?" Wtf what did she want me to reply? Of course I told her there's no reason. Then she was like "OK NEXT TIME, WHEN SOMEONE CORRECTS YOU, YOU SMILE AND YOU NOD. DO IT." Tears immediately rolled down. Dance the whole run with tears all over my face. How embarrassing Renfred was there. Just behind me.

Why is she always doing this to me? It's not the first time, if you've been constantly reading my blog you should know how horrible she talks to me. And her stares. It's horrible. It's as if I've owed her something in her past life. No one will ever know how horrible it is cuz SHE NEVER BLOODY give you the I'm-gonna-kill-you stare. I'm not exaggerating at all. I wished I was but I'm not.

Couldn't take it anymore so I went to the toilet to calm myself down. Cried even more instead. I was thinking of too many things. So many things that were all cooped up. Cleared my face up and went back. But cried again because I heard Melissa's voice. I couldn't understand how she could talk to everyone else so nicely but so bitchy to me. The way she talked to Louisa, it was as if she was Louisa's friend. Melissa (classmate) was sitting there in tears too, again. Didn't know what happened. But Melissa (teacher) went to talk to her nicely about her feet. Then she came to me and told me shit that i didnt understand again. She was saying what when she was in school her teacher also did that to her. DID YOU HAD A BAD CHILDHOOD? OR HAD BAD TEENAGE MEMORIES? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? I was just scared of her. I really just need her to not talk to me ok. I really don't like talking to her. Not at all. She probably thought by talking to me ill feel better but no. Just made me cry again.

So we started rehearsal again. Omg this Renfred bias or bias. He only asked Mel if she's ok. What about me!!!! Tsk not like I care. It just made me feel like gods trying to tell me that I'm really someone who repels people away. Sigh

After it ended, went to Adidas to get the pants me and Jingwen wanted. Went to the chicken rice stall and it took so long. We ended up with only 5min to gobble our food up before the next class, which was Contemp. Contemp was less than an hour long cuz we needed to watch this contact improv perform by our BA seniors. Then a lighting show by dip2 seniors and BA2 tpm seniors.

Edem and I were supposed to do art history. But idk what's wrong with him. He's just not telling me anything and not doing anything. At that point where he walked away from me when I asked him if he brought his work, I've given up on him already. Sorry I'm not like Jingwen or Andrea. If you can't help yourself I'm not gonna help you. He's not taking it seriously. He's just full of empty words. And let me tell you that's the one thing I hate the most. EMPTY WORDS. Don't say things to ENTERTAIN ME. Couldn't believe Edwin's such an idiot too. He was supposed to do art history too but he didn't feel like doing so he dragged Edem to smoke. OMG FUCK IM THE UNLUCKIEST PERSON ALIVE TO HAVE EDEM AS MY BLOODY PARTNER. PERIOD.

Right now I'm just gonna do my part of the presentation. I'm not gonna listen to his crap anymore. If he's free and really wants to do it then he tell me. If not fuck him. Ifs his fault for always disappearing and he always blames me. What the fuck? Is he even doing his work? Don't put any blame on me for no reason k.

Fell asleep after that cuz I was really drop dead tired. Woke up for the injury talk at 5.30... It was not very helpful but whatever. Went for dinner after that and went home.

My eyes are feeling so tired. How did I even survive the day sigh. I wish I have a hugging machine at home. So badly wanna hug something and never let go lol. Well this is where my bolster comes in. Hmmm but the bolster doesn't hug me back :( Ok ok anything la I'm so tired to even continue this post. Goodnight... I'm not gonna pack my bag till tomorrow cuz IM JUST THAT TIRED AND THAT LAZY. Goodnight