My face is getting so bad again omg there's twice in a year where my face will break out like crazy. 1. Summer. (July) 2. End Autumn. (November) I don't know why I'm getting it so bad when it's only April. Gosh I can't stand it I guess I'm gonna have to go on medication again. When my face is liddat I really hate to face the world. Wanna lock myself up and not even go out. Sigh even make up doesn't help. Yeah I'm just that conscious, sorry not sorry.
I don't know what I want to do now. I don't know what I should do now. I've just been in a daze, reading through my drafts on tumblr. Like why do I draft them.... I have no courage to post them up. It's so true to my feelings I feel extremely exposed if I post them up. No. If you think my blog is exposed, you haven't seen my tumblr drafts yet honestly. Lol well you never will. It's drafted for a reason. Hahahaha.
Tomorrow is Friday again. Another day like the 28th of March. Lol? Like what the hell. I can already foresee myself being so fucking dazed throughout the entire day and.... I will have to smile and look bright in front of the visitors who come for Beneath our feet tomorrow. Wow shan good luck to you. I wonder how am I gonna do that because everyone knows how bad I am at smiling when I obviously am not happy. Sigh and yeah another Saturday night out with the girls I guess? -stabs self-
I hate this. I just need some source of comfort EXCEPT FOOD but right now everyone that I love is either schooling or intern-ing. I'm just...... PRETENDING I'M NOT FEELING ANYTHING because feelings are too much of a burden to me. I can't handle it i really can't. Insomnia for the past 2 weeks IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY ANYMORE. :'( I'm too tired of telling people what's been happening. Because they are also getting tired of it. So yeah I'm all in this alone. Ho ho ho. Not helping that my mom aint confirming the dates that we're flying off STILL. Come on give me something to look forward to. Let me escape. I want to run away for good.
This is so random but I really loved math in Sec school. Like that's the one lesson I can just slack away (besides chinese) because it's easy!? When I was in Sec 1 and I realised math didn't have all those fucked up problem sums that cost like 60% of my score, I WAS SO DAMN HAPPY. Albegra was so damn easy and I just kept getting like A's. LOL I did struggle a lil during the end of Sec 3 because I couldn't be bothered to remember formulas and because I just simply decided to not study at all that's why I almost retained. HAHAHA. I know I'm one weird kid but yeah. Hated Science though. Hated it to the core. Been failing almost my entire school life. Since p4 till Sec 4. HAHAHA. O level's also failed. I still have the message from my Chem tutor. She was so disappointed in me when I told her I got a D7 and she told me to apologise to my parents. I was like WHAT excuse me from F9 to D7 that's a freaking improvement. HAHAHAHA but yeah la seriously. Hated Science. Maybe if I had taken Physics instead it would've been a different story. The only tests that I've passed for Science were my Physics tests... LOL.
Sec 3 was really my downfall year la really. I failed English throughout the year except EOY. ENGLISH. I FAILED ENGLISH. Never in my life did I think I would've failed English. Well.... stupid comprehensions... I hated them. They were all so long and dry LIKE WHY DO YOU GIVE ME AN ARTICLE THAT'S SO BORING. Need to write summary some more. COME ON WE ALL KNOW HOW LONG AND WHINY I AM 150 WORDS IS NOT ENOUGH. When I reached Sec 4 I realised they kinda.... purposely fail us one lor. Chey stupid. So demoralising man. My Chinese was actually scoring better than my English. HOW CRAY IS THAT. Because I was always failing, they put me under the B4 category. Like I'm supposed to get at least a B4 for O's. I kept failing I really thought if I could get a freaking C6 I'd be so damn happy. But yeah whatevers I got a B4 anyways. LOL. & YEAH MY CHINESE STILL GOT A HIGHER GRADE THAN MY ENGLISH.
I got a B3. My chinese teacher couldn't believe me at all. He was so sure that I'd retake Chinese again. On the day the Chinese results were released, he walked past me and said "Aiya you cannot make it one. Confirm retake." I was like no even if I scored a C I am so not retaking. THEN COME OUT B3 Kanasai stupid teacher last warning. He hated me because I was such a ninja in class. Well he named me the girl ninja. YEAH COME ON I DON'T LIKE TALKING LA CANNOT MEH. LOL as long as I do well in my exams can already what. Argh. Never understood teachers that forces me to talk. It's so annoying. There was this time he had a feedback session with us one on one. He totally scolded me for not talking or asking him anything. He looked at my essay and he was like "From the looks of this you will definitely not make it. Don't say B4 la I think C6 also cannot make it. You continue to be this ninja in class you'll continue remaining in this standard." KANASAI. & that time he said anyone who scored a B3 above he'd treat us to Sushi buffet. I SHOULD'VE WENT!!!!! Just to rub it in his face that I got a freaking B3. How dare he think I would fail argh. First thing I did was "MR ONG FREAKING B3 OK." Wa he nothing to say.
Obviously failed my humanities too because I just can't be bothered to remember the essays. Forever sleeping in History class because my teacher's voice was sooooo damn monotone and she kept on reading off the slides. & whatever that she was teaching I could read from the book so I really didn't understand the point of humanities class. All I had to do was remember the whole god damn book. Having that class was redundant to me so it was a sleeping class for me. I didn't fail math though. I got like C5-C6 which was obviously a fail for me since I've always been at an A or lowest B3.
So yeah I only started studying for EOY and thank god EOYs held like 40% of the overall score so I managed to promote. Woohoo. Don't really know what got into me to write about my Sec school life. I guess because I saw my brother studying for his Geog exams yesterday till like 12 and I was like wow I didn't even study that early. HAHAHA. Ah sigh hated studying. Forever and ever ok. I only woke up and studying mugging like fucking crazy after I saw how horrible my prelim points were. Freaking 35-40 pointer ok. It was so damn ridiculous I didn't even know what to say to myself. LOL.
Alright I can feel myself stoning now. Don't ask me why I'm so emotionless tomorrow if you see me. Cuz I just am. Gosh I don't even need weed to stone yo goodnight (not)
"Standing underneath your window, searching for some kind of sign
Every move, every tiny gesture only proves that you're not mine
I could write you a thousand love songs, search the world for the perfect tune and rhyme
But what good would it be if it seems like I'm out of time?"
Tomorrow is Friday again. Another day like the 28th of March. Lol? Like what the hell. I can already foresee myself being so fucking dazed throughout the entire day and.... I will have to smile and look bright in front of the visitors who come for Beneath our feet tomorrow. Wow shan good luck to you. I wonder how am I gonna do that because everyone knows how bad I am at smiling when I obviously am not happy. Sigh and yeah another Saturday night out with the girls I guess? -stabs self-
I hate this. I just need some source of comfort EXCEPT FOOD but right now everyone that I love is either schooling or intern-ing. I'm just...... PRETENDING I'M NOT FEELING ANYTHING because feelings are too much of a burden to me. I can't handle it i really can't. Insomnia for the past 2 weeks IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY ANYMORE. :'( I'm too tired of telling people what's been happening. Because they are also getting tired of it. So yeah I'm all in this alone. Ho ho ho. Not helping that my mom aint confirming the dates that we're flying off STILL. Come on give me something to look forward to. Let me escape. I want to run away for good.
This is so random but I really loved math in Sec school. Like that's the one lesson I can just slack away (besides chinese) because it's easy!? When I was in Sec 1 and I realised math didn't have all those fucked up problem sums that cost like 60% of my score, I WAS SO DAMN HAPPY. Albegra was so damn easy and I just kept getting like A's. LOL I did struggle a lil during the end of Sec 3 because I couldn't be bothered to remember formulas and because I just simply decided to not study at all that's why I almost retained. HAHAHA. I know I'm one weird kid but yeah. Hated Science though. Hated it to the core. Been failing almost my entire school life. Since p4 till Sec 4. HAHAHA. O level's also failed. I still have the message from my Chem tutor. She was so disappointed in me when I told her I got a D7 and she told me to apologise to my parents. I was like WHAT excuse me from F9 to D7 that's a freaking improvement. HAHAHAHA but yeah la seriously. Hated Science. Maybe if I had taken Physics instead it would've been a different story. The only tests that I've passed for Science were my Physics tests... LOL.
Sec 3 was really my downfall year la really. I failed English throughout the year except EOY. ENGLISH. I FAILED ENGLISH. Never in my life did I think I would've failed English. Well.... stupid comprehensions... I hated them. They were all so long and dry LIKE WHY DO YOU GIVE ME AN ARTICLE THAT'S SO BORING. Need to write summary some more. COME ON WE ALL KNOW HOW LONG AND WHINY I AM 150 WORDS IS NOT ENOUGH. When I reached Sec 4 I realised they kinda.... purposely fail us one lor. Chey stupid. So demoralising man. My Chinese was actually scoring better than my English. HOW CRAY IS THAT. Because I was always failing, they put me under the B4 category. Like I'm supposed to get at least a B4 for O's. I kept failing I really thought if I could get a freaking C6 I'd be so damn happy. But yeah whatevers I got a B4 anyways. LOL. & YEAH MY CHINESE STILL GOT A HIGHER GRADE THAN MY ENGLISH.
I got a B3. My chinese teacher couldn't believe me at all. He was so sure that I'd retake Chinese again. On the day the Chinese results were released, he walked past me and said "Aiya you cannot make it one. Confirm retake." I was like no even if I scored a C I am so not retaking. THEN COME OUT B3 Kanasai stupid teacher last warning. He hated me because I was such a ninja in class. Well he named me the girl ninja. YEAH COME ON I DON'T LIKE TALKING LA CANNOT MEH. LOL as long as I do well in my exams can already what. Argh. Never understood teachers that forces me to talk. It's so annoying. There was this time he had a feedback session with us one on one. He totally scolded me for not talking or asking him anything. He looked at my essay and he was like "From the looks of this you will definitely not make it. Don't say B4 la I think C6 also cannot make it. You continue to be this ninja in class you'll continue remaining in this standard." KANASAI. & that time he said anyone who scored a B3 above he'd treat us to Sushi buffet. I SHOULD'VE WENT!!!!! Just to rub it in his face that I got a freaking B3. How dare he think I would fail argh. First thing I did was "MR ONG FREAKING B3 OK." Wa he nothing to say.
Obviously failed my humanities too because I just can't be bothered to remember the essays. Forever sleeping in History class because my teacher's voice was sooooo damn monotone and she kept on reading off the slides. & whatever that she was teaching I could read from the book so I really didn't understand the point of humanities class. All I had to do was remember the whole god damn book. Having that class was redundant to me so it was a sleeping class for me. I didn't fail math though. I got like C5-C6 which was obviously a fail for me since I've always been at an A or lowest B3.
So yeah I only started studying for EOY and thank god EOYs held like 40% of the overall score so I managed to promote. Woohoo. Don't really know what got into me to write about my Sec school life. I guess because I saw my brother studying for his Geog exams yesterday till like 12 and I was like wow I didn't even study that early. HAHAHA. Ah sigh hated studying. Forever and ever ok. I only woke up and studying mugging like fucking crazy after I saw how horrible my prelim points were. Freaking 35-40 pointer ok. It was so damn ridiculous I didn't even know what to say to myself. LOL.
Alright I can feel myself stoning now. Don't ask me why I'm so emotionless tomorrow if you see me. Cuz I just am. Gosh I don't even need weed to stone yo goodnight (not)
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