Hear me roar

I'm just a stressed ass bitch

LOL WHY?

BECAUSE...... I'm so used to Miss Melissa always cleaning us up last minute to make sure we look ok. Like everyone. But no. Now we only have one more rehearsal till show day when we have like 5 more days till rehearsal. IT'S JUST WEIRD. Ok i don't know why I'm putting so much effort in this. Maybe because I haven't been performing in the longest time and this is like the ONLY opportunity I have and I really DON'T wanna screw it up. Unlike the rest, no one asks me to be in gigs, no one wants me to be on stage, no one actually thinks i'm of ANY worth. If I screw this up then seriously what will others think of me?

I hate that this is so fucking last minute. We haven't even tried on costumes. & to me if I'm uncomfortable in the costume how am I gonna perform well!?!?!??! We got like NO transition from the first to the second song and yet we're gonna have a small costume change? HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? We superman issit. SO MANY THINGS TO THINK ABOUT but everyone's so cool about it. Fuck y'all I'm going crazy. It's different to practice alone in my room and to practice with full strength in a studio kay.

Now every time I hear Yonce I go like "How the hell am I gonna be sexy like a girl? How the hell am I gonna dance in a way where my boobs won't fall out? HOW THE HELL!?" When I hear Beggin I think of what kind of expression am I supposed to do. When I hear the last song of our piece I'm just like I LOOK SO UGLY DOING IT JUST STAHP

Ranting like a cray bitch but really needed to get it off my chest.