Determined

I'm so hooked onto Room mate now!!! Omg Bommie is forever so cute ok FOREVER I LOVE YOU BOMMIE I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU NEXT SATURDAY!!! So much love for my 2ne1 they win all the other guy groups. YES IM STRAIGHT OK I just love 2ne1 :B HAHAHA. & I can't get enough of Dong Wook jesus he's just SEXY NAMJA. & ah...... I love it when guys wear caps ok. Especially when they wear it the opposite way. IT JUST CATCHES MY EYE~~~ Yay I love roommate omg. Can you imagine living with those handsome boys?!?!!?! What the hell.... Suddenly want my whole clique to stay over again. Suddenly miss going SPC in the middle of the night to buy ramen. MEH

Okay anyway I've been having just one meal a day since Monday. Eating detox pills so I won't be bloated. I also stopped my midnight snacking okay. So much change in the way I eat in such a short time. I obviously don't see any difference in my size NOR my tummy. Which right now, is a seriously huge issue for me. Because tomorrow I need to try on the costumes oh my god save me just save me. I brought this on myself really. Why did I snack so much for the past few months WHY.

This is actually torturing. Shit when did my appetite become so biggggg :'( No I can't do this I'm very determined this time I'll diet all the way till school starts.... I need to go back looking like last time when I slimmed down and not even fatter la fuck. I can't imagine what Albert will say to me. "You this pig. People dance and slim down but you dance and put on weight. You can't even dance well. Your muscles are not even developed. Are you sure you are a dancer???" LOL ok well he said that to me before but I'm sure he will repeat it again. Everytime he scolds me it's always the same few sentences I don't even know how to feel about that anymore but YEAAAAH~~~

SLIM DOWN SLIM DOWN SLIM DOWN. Fuck la I know I definitely won't look good on Yfest but.... AT LEAST I'LL TRY TO LOOK SLIMMER ON OPEN MIC NIGHT????? I mean that's the nearest performance date ma.

I'm actually quite hyped on Yr 3 Sem 1!!!!! Yay I love all my sem1s. Good things always happen. CHEY TOUCH WOOD I'm not gonna jinx it. I am looking forward to performing for the freshies, looking forward to danzpeople recital, looking forward to learning new jazz choreo for our dip show, looking forward to 2/3 hip hop classes per week, one of the lessons by kayte some more!!!~~~~ EXCITING OR EXCITING?!?!?! I haven't felt this way in the LONGEST time okay. I think the last time I was this excited for school was last year before dip show.

Obviously there are things that I'm not excited about la. Like Peishan's contemp classes... -_- Watched my yr 2 sem 1 assessment videos and all I heard was Peishan's whiny voice. Like shit gurl stfuuuuu. I couldn't even hear the music that was playing in the background kay. Annoying. Of course not looking forward to having weekly presentations with the performance students..... Not prepared to look stupid and give them an impression that I can't talk. I mean I already seldom talk. I can't imagine what they'll think of me after they see me present. I need to prepare to dig a hole. Uh forgot to mention that all of them have like speech classes so majority of them can speak well.

Giving myself 1 month la okay. By my birthday I must look NORMAL and not FAT. I can't believe my birthday is like 1 month away. HOW TIME REALLY FLIES. That also means I only have 1 month of holiday left till school reopens. Told myself that if I got promoted I'll buy myself new leotards. LOL..... Uh yeah it's kinda time to buy new ballet stuff already... My shoes like beggar shoes, my tights all got holes and my leotards are loose as hell. Boobs flying out. LOL.

SO YUP~~~~~~ LOOKING FORWARD TO A NEW YEAR WITH ALL THOSE PERFORMANCES. Now just gotta worry about Sunday. I've got no confidence about it I don't even want my clique to come ok. That's how bad it is but well apparently two of them knows about it so they're coming OH NOOOOSE... Don't judge me guys please don't. Really pre-warning first my stomach is not ready to be shown to the world after all that junk i've been eating T_T DONT ASK ME TO EMBRACE MY BODY AT THIS TIME OR I'LL MURDERRRRRR. Because we all know the world is just gonna say "YUCKS WHY SHE SHOWING HER STOMACH WALAO ONE AB ALSO DONT HAVE." NO I'm not prepared really NOOOOOOOOOO

I really came a long way when in concerns dance.... Lol er I can remember very clearly the first time I was taught a pas de bourre. The music was SOOOOO slow like seriously 80bpm and yet I still could get my legs tangled up. So bad I can't even. Couldn't do a body wave without looking awkward. Didn't know how to isolate my butt and my body. I was just..... AWKWARD. Well I obviously still think I'm super horrible la DUH but omg it's because I think I'm super horrible now I feel so sad for my younger self. LIKE WHAT WERE YOU DOING YOUNGER SHAN THAT'S HORRIBLE. LOL  I have videos of my horrible self I feel horrible for myself jesus christ hahahahahaha save me.