Yfest

Current feeling: feeling like Seho from Rommate now.

Lol forever left out. Why no one notices me when I dance??!?!?! WHY seriously. Don't even wanna look at my phone meh



MEH not even proud of my performance tonight. The formation was fucked up I'm so sad about that. I made so many mistakes like why shan why.....What the hell obvious mistakes some more. For now I can't forgive myself.. No one has seen me dance in forever... Like the last time I really performed was Dip show last year. This year's open house doesnt really count because..... Sad to say my heart wasn't there at all, plus it was a repeated choreography from a long time ago.

No one is ever like.... confident that I can dance well. Well enough to ask me to join crews or gigs or shit or WHATEVER LA really. No one thinks I can do it..... I wanted to prove myself. That I could at least do something right. That's why I wanted tonight's performance to be good. Because this was the only chance I got. That's why I was so stressed about it. I want people to see me and go wow Shanette can actually do it. But no I just had to screw it up.

Sigh I really want to be part of something. Can't someone just let me be part of something!???!?!? Can someone just at least put me as an option?! I've reached the point where I really don't exist anymore. I'm not even an option to anyone.... I really don't feel like I belong anywhere and it really sucks okay. I'm not a hip hop dancer I'm not a contemp dancer I'm not a ballet dancer not a jazz dancer either like what the fuck am I. Piece of shit

Meh don't know what to say to myself anymore I really want to be better. I have 1 month. goodnight and bye