2nd week of my holidays and I'm gonna go for a job interview tomorrow. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad. Maybe it's good for the long run but that also means I have less time. 

This is the most unhappening holiday since a long time. Not gonna go overseas because bro's not in town. Not really hanging out with my friends or going anywhere either because yeah they're all working... Boyfriends busy too of course so it's just me myself and I. Starting work is probably a good thing but you know I just feel so lifeless.... It's like I wanna go out so bad but everyone's just so tired and all and it makes me even more tired and lethargic even when I'm not. 

Who will I meet in this job if I get hired? Socializing is really just one thing I will never ever be able to handle well. Aw man. Guess I'm really entering adulthood. I forgot this year I'm no longer a teen. Mehhhhhhhhh 

I feel so insulted right naos... hmmmm is it wrong to dress up? is it wrong for a girl to want to look pretty for herself, and if she's attached, for her guy too? It's like effort unappreciated.. instead of getting a tiny compliment from ur guy, you end up getting dagger eyes like "why are you wearing like this" so sads. Instead of wanting me to look good he wants me to look like an aunty....... :'( I get the whole "I want to be protective" thing but still I wouldn't want to look like an aunty at the age of 20. How insulting!!!!! Its like my prime age to wear nice clothes and look cute. Next time want to wear also don't have the body or the looks anymore. 

It's like no matter how fatty fatty I am I still wanna wear nice pretty clothes and look cute. :( So saddddsssssss will I forever just look like shit or forever get dagger eyes if I attempt to look pretty... I want him to be proud of me not hide me. I don't geddit la.. Maybe just really different thoughts. I mean if I were a guy i'd be proud of my girl if she takes care of her appearance. At least I know she's still trying and not be comfortable just because she's attached. And also I'd want my guy to take care of himself too. No one would wanna date someone who wears flip flops to social events. <- Example. It's just the most minimal expectations of yourself as a person, how you present yourself. Boo to the hoo booboooobooooooo boobs