Hi

Current feels: Helpless

How is it possible for me to feel good knowing my one and only love is in such a stressful situation? You have no idea how my heart just broke when I saw him just now. It's just painful to look at him stress over it. It's even more painful to know that I can't be of any help to lessen his burden. Tried to kick one burden off him but it doesn't seem to make any difference.. Still equally stressed. 

Hais.. Just when I thought July was gonna be a good month, this has to happen.. 

I'm so tired from work.. I want to MC so badly even though I'm getting used to the job. 

T_T suddenly he felt different today.. I can't help but feel that way. Firstly we haven't talked much since Tuesday.. Even up till now he's kinda just not really talking much.. He just doesn't feel like himself.. Secondly he's been rather pissed off and frustrated I guess I can understand that.. Heartbreak but yeah. Thirdly his mind is just everywhere.. I don't know what I should even do I'm so lost. Last.... he just feels so close yet so far.. 

Can't help but feel scared.. Because I never know when he'll let go of me again.. suddenly remembered his one sentence over the phone.. "if you wanna go I won't hold you back." why does he always say that to me... whatever happened to never letting me go..? why is he always letting me go so easily.. I really don't care how critical the situation is, I just want to know I'm important enough in his life for him to fight on... Hais 

I'm so worried but there's nothing much I can do.. My head needs a rest..