I'm frustrated. 

Feeling so like I don't even know. Everytime when we're not talking I'm just like please any moment now please just a text.. I'll be missing him like crazy and literally going crazy. But when he actually comes on most of the time I just feel nothing. Legit like I refuse to show him how much I missed him how sad I was when he was gone for so long. What the fuck is wrong with me 

It's like I fucking am feeling sad that the period of chat time is so short yet I just choose to say nah it's okay nah no choice. Like ya really no choice but I always wish something could be done to it. Am I being selfish or what? I'm kinda confused. 

But I'm also feeling too needy nowadays I'm hating myself so much. I know he's coming back in 2 days but I choose to not show I'm super excited and super happy to see him. I still can't get over the "if I'm super happy over something, something bad's bound to happen." 

Haissss it's been 20days.. :( I'm really so sad I really don't want this to happen again hais but it's like wtf definitely will happen again. Sobs 

Sigh to the max

Let's talk to the walls