Been trying to sleep but I can't.... I'm so FUCKEN tired. I was burning my face with my skin care just now cuz I cried a load before bathing... 

I'm so scared.. I'm really not strong enough for this.. Can everything just be better already? My eyes are like frog eyes now but I can't seem to stop crying.. I don't want the end to be near.. :'( I just feel like it's so so near and I just keep crying like crazy everytime the thought comes to mind.. 

My heart so pain. :'( I'm shaking.. I really want it to be better... What's the point of going to sleep knowing I'm gonna have a nightmare after? Everytime I close my eyes bad thoughts consume my mind.... After 3.5hours I wish I can run to him and tell him I really don't want to see the end... Please tell me and show me we're not reaching the end.. 

I really can't even say how I feel right now.. I want to heal..