Obsession?

There will be times I really wanna ask myself.. Am I that worthless to myself that I have to so damn insecure? Many times when I scroll my Facebook ticker and I see him liking the same few girls' posts, an inner fire in me serious catches me off guard. I do ask myself why. Like stupid girl it's just a lame post or probably some harmless post that means nothing, just a like. But the devil in me thinks otherwise. "Why does he keep liking he same girls' pictures? Trying to get their attention? Trying to be their regular liker? Is he attracted to them? Who the fuck are they?" I do so much thinking it drives me crazy. It's like I'd put myself in the position of him and think. And then I ask myself what would he be able to do so I'd be less insecure? I honestly don't even know. Because right now every time I discuss this sensitive topic of me and girls and insecurity, I feel like he thinks I'm demanding something, and I don't want it to be this way.

But really though, all the guy friends in my life, I very openly share who they are and just very openly tell my boyfriend and daily happenings if there are.. But he on the other side, he really tells me nothing much sometimes just shoves the question away saying like he just loves me he just wants me and all.... Words itself is not enough to prove.. I just want to be involved in his life I wish to know who is who.. Like deeper conversations instead of just simple one word answers.

I don't want to be this insecure low self esteem girl. But at the same time its really eating me alive. There really are days when I think I'm better off alone for the sake of my own mental health.

But really though the feeling of him regularly liking the same girls' posts compared to how many posts he likes when I post is pretty damn different eh.... Yes i do tell myself what's the point of seeing and making me upset yet at the same time I wanna see what kind of posts attract him. Hai what a paradox. What has social media done to me....? :(

Hai Shanette what happened to you..?