The past few days have been so fucking exhausting for me. Before Feb started I already knew it was gonna be this packed. But now that I'm living through the days I really feel like dying. I feel like there's so much on my plate and I just don't seem to have time for a lot of things. I don't know how people handle bf/gf rs, family, friends, work, school ALTOGETHER. I just cannot?!?!?!?! I wish every individual will be SMART enough to fucking know that time is fucking precious and if I can even squeeze an entire day out once in awhile, IT WOULD ACTUALLY BE GOOD ENOUGH??? Can't people just understand that all of us have many commitments on hand and we can't simply just let go of everything just for the sake of ONE PERSON regardless of who the person is unless for emergencies.

I'm so tired of living the secret life already honestly. I thought I could but ITS SO TIRING TO CONSTANTLY HAVE TO BOMB SOME LAME ASS EXCUSE. I feel sad to not be able to tell her shit but I just simply know she wouldnt accept it. Or I might lose her as a friend. Or something.... Sigh T_T I don't know what to do honestly. I feel like just splurging the truth out. Some days I feel myself saying it at the tip of my tongue and then I swallow those words back in.

People just need to be occupied with their own things seriously. I feel like regardless of the interpersonal relationships you have with whoever, everyone is still an individual themselves and just simply have to be independent to a certain extent? How can u just put ur entire life into someone else hands? Eg. Waiting around to be asked out. Waiting around for the person to be free. LIKE TIME IS SO IMPORTANT. WHY CAN YOU USE THAT TIME TO GO DO SOMETHING? Draw dance work out read learn something new. There's so many fucking things to do to cultivate urself and make urself better when you have so much free time but the people around me simply fucking doesn't. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. AND WHY MUST I BE THE PERSON TO ALWAYS TRY TO FIT MY SCHEDULE TO EVERYONE ITS KINDA DRIVING ME NUTS.

FIND YOUR OWN SHIT TO DO. DONT EXPECT ME TO ALWAYS BE FREE CUZ IM NOT AND I HAVE PLANS AND SOZ IM A BUSY WOMAN REGARDLESS OF WHAT I AM BUSY WITH. That aint yo business. The point is if anyone truly wants to meet me or whatever it should be planned out or at least informed earlier. Not when people already asked me out and shit and you just ASSUME that i'd be free.

I. AM. NOT. FREE. 

Like really super done dealing with humans. Really there are days I just wanna cut off everyone. I ONLY GOT MYSELF TO ACCOUNT FOR. So fucking burden. This kind of outburst only fucking happens when I'm fucking not free and I'm not getting enough alone time and nobody understands and still whine to me about shit LIKE FAKYEW I DO NOT CARE GET OUT OF MY SIGHT JUST GO. & people think like i'm just saying these kind of rude AF sentences cuz i'm angry. BUT LET ME TELL YOU NOW I MEAN EVERY SHIT. ARGH. I AM THE FUCKER I AM AND I DO NOT CARE. Like jesus this is what people mean when they say don't wake the lion up. Then someone comes up to me and whine about how I am in general and I'm this and I'm that. My solution is so simple leh just turn the other way and walk. LIKE I LEGIT NEED MY OWN TIME DONT ANYONE UNDERSTAND THAT????? I CAN'T STAND BEING AROUND PEOPLE WHEN I'M STRESSED I CAN'T STAND ENTERTAINING ANYONE I CAN'T STAND FEELING BURDENED BY PEOPLES EMOTIONS LIKE FAKYEW FAK EVERYBODY FAK OFF OMG