There are days where I tell myself we can never be just friends because we are just simply more than that. I tell myself we will be back together and I definitely mean so much more than you. But tonight are the kind of nights where everything just proves to me that I’m nothing more than just a friend with benefit. What am I doing with my life? Why am I letting a guy manipulate me this way...? Just because he knows I love him more? Let me tell you know this fucking sucks. As time moves on, the line will be drawn. From lovers to friends with benefits... And from friends with benefits... We will become nothing more than just strangers with memories.. Just let it fade away.. I’m done and I’m hella sure there’s no way we will get back together. Shanette wake the fuck up and move on.

So what if he sleeps with someone else? So what if he kissed someone else even if it meant nothing? So what if he actually falls for someone else? Sorry but all of these are probably his choices if it ever happens. What am i???!!?? A fucking second choice. I’m just a fucking option all the fucking time. To think that he wouldn’t do this to me..

I don’t even know how he can go to sleep knowing how shitty I feel every night. I don’t even know how he can live with his conscience. But forget it. I don’t see the point anymore. Why hold on to someone who doesn’t fucking care anymore? Why hold on to someone who really just..... don’t see the point in trying for you anymore? I feel like a fucking beggar. Begging for his concern, begging for his love. It’s ridiculous. Fuck it already. You wanna be friends? Friends it shall be then.

So what if I miss you? So what if I love you? So fucking what??????

Forget it because you don’t want me anymore. Forget it because I’m sure even if you saw me with someone else you’d probably heave a sigh of relief instead of feeling jealous. Even if I’m being treated like shit with someone else, you wouldn’t even give a damn because you’re too busy living your life to even be concerned about mine. I’m probably better of being treated like shit than to love you who don’t even reciprocate your feelings.