At age 25. This very year has really shown me lots of true colours of people whom I thought I knew. This year told me I really couldnt care less. I dont fucking care if I've known you for 5 years or 10 years, 5 months or 5 days. I feel tired of holding so much negativity. Everyone has their own flaws I get it but I'm tired of always having to let others tell me I'm this I'm that. Or like I'm supposed to be this and that. Right now at this point, I'm so ready to let go of anyone and anything that gets in my way. I'm not saying I'm feelingless or whatever. But I'm tired of fighting for anything. I'm tired of reasoning with things and I'm tired of trying to find ways to make it work. I know I'm only 25 but if things are supposed to be good, they eventually will be. Life isnt supposed to be this hard especially when it comes to people. & I really hate to put myself in the spot where I constantly have to think of what others think of me. I don't fucking need it. I am who I am. I am a fucking human with feelings and a fucking human that keeps trying to understand how it feels like on the other side and I am fucking sick of that shit. Say that it is my fault for keeping it in. Say that it is my fault for not handling it well. So be it. Like I said. I'm tired of trying to be a perfect self for each individual. I'll never be able to achieve that and I am just tired.

I dont know how many times must I emphasize that I can't do this putting others before me shit anymore.