Why do i love dance so much?

Boo.

Sigh something's really wrong with me. Really haven't been sleeping well the past few days. Usually i'd wake up at 12 if i sleep late. But recently i've been awake at like 8. I just continue to sleep till about 10. 

Caught Men In Black 3 yesterday with Jai at cine. Had a fun time :) Went to get new jeans and bought a basic top from Uniqlo because it was on almost 50% discount. Haha. Had this delicious ice cream at Ion's basement. I chose 2 flavours; Rocky road and cookies&cream. I'm so going back there to try the other flavours. THERE ARE MANY FLAVOURS!!!! 

Supposed to meet Clique and some other boys for dinner because its Liqian's birthday but i decided not to. I can't stand people with no time mangement. I really can't. Honestly i was looking forward to good food. I even told my maid to not give me the bakuteh soup that she cooked. I thought we were meeting at like 7 plus. But at 8pm, they were still at AMK hub -_-. K whatever i'm not the birthday girl. She go have fun. All of them go have fun. Can't be bothered.

I was browsing through Funshion yesterday to find if there were any new series that i could watch. Jane By Design is finally back and i caught the latest 3 episodes and am currently waiting for this week's episode. I then stumbled upon this show called Dance Academy. Decided to watch it and i'm like "Wow so this is how my next 3 years is gonna be?" 

I really wanna start living my dream. Only thing is my size is making me feel like i'm not able to live it. How am i gonna look good in leotards? How am i gonna dance with pointe shoes when i am so heavy!? Sigh. I've gotta start dieting. (Wtf am i saying i'm currently munching on crackers.) Start toning up my body. Really. I don't wanna be a joke. I don't wanna have people stare at me. I don't wanna be left out T_T 

Currently having blood shot eyes because i suspect i've been wearing expired contact lenses since yesterday. Yes i've ordered new ones but it's not gonna come until probably one week later? Oh dear. Guess i gotta stay home for this period. YES THIS MEANS I CAN TRY MY BEST TO EAT AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE. (still munching on crackers.) 

Sometimes i really wished my mom was a ballet dancer. I wished i was already destined to grow up as a dancer. That way i probably wouldn't be this size. And i probably would be more girly..... SOBS WHAT KIND OF LIFE IS THIS. I suddenly remembered what the teacher asked me during the audition. "Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?" I said a performer. IN MY DREAMS, i see myself owning the stage. But in reality? I really don't know. There are many billions of people out there born as a dancer, learnt ballet since young and are going to an Arts School because that's where they belong. I go there purely because i have a passion for dance. That's it. I'm willing to take the extra step. Willing to put in double the effort. But in the show, this ballet teacher/principal said that ballet is a selfish genre. No matter how much effort you put in, sometimes ballet isnt cut out for some people. Yeah people like me. Don't know what i'm gonna expect when school starts. I really can't wait, at the same time, stressed about the fact that i'll probably need a doctor to save me from depression.

Aglin once told me why she chose ballet instead of the modern hiphop and stuff. She said, "Everyone's fussing so much about hiphop and street jazz, so i thought to myself, 'Why not I be different from the rest, and go back to basics?'" I really agree with her. Just cuz dancing that will make them cool? Wtf that's just..... I don't know what to say. I mean yeah i am more of a street dancer but i'm getting too overwhelmed by the number of people dancing to that. What's the point if everyone's dancing to the same genre? There's no more excitement to it. It's suddenly so common. And i hate to be common. Right now, i really just wanna get my techniques right. I really wish to ace my assignments. I have a goal. & I'm aiming for it. It's gonna be tough, a really rocky road ahead of me, but i've chosen this path and i gotta go for it. I wanna prove to the idiots who think I can't make it in life just because i never take up any course that has gotta do with Business. You just wait and see.

Just one more month till the next journey of my life begins.