Where am i going?

Was so lazy to do ballet today. Damn irritated at my rash. I don't know what is it. I seriously never gotten such thing before. It's just so annoying. If i'm irritated at my own skin, obviously if others see if they'll be irritated too right?! Oh my god i don't know why's god punishing me. Sigh.

Hiphop was after ballet. The teacher just felt so unfriendly. She's a filipino... My impressions of filipinos were always very good [cuz i have the best maid ever. -flicks hair louisa's style- (winnie not nina fyi)] ! This time is the first time i feel so argh. Well her steps are kinda interesting, until she taught us the basic b-boy move '6step'. WTF. I don't like to b-boy. I don't even like to see b-boy do their stunts or whatever crap. Now i have to learn it and she's gonna grade us tomorrow just on that move. RIDICULOUS.

Firstly, all of us are girls. Our muscle in our arms are not as strong as boys. That's why there are not many b-girls around? Secondly, most of the girls in my class are so ballet-ish/contemporary-ish. How can everyone get their groove so fast?! Thirdly, she's giving us so little time to practice. Lastly, HIP HOP IS HIP HOP. B-BOY IS B-BOY. She told us the previous batch were her first batch of students in Lasalle and they were kinda more street jazz style. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT YO. Hiphop/street jazz is YAY. Hiphop/B-BOY IS NAYYYYY!!!! :@ We had to do that b-boy move ACROSS THE FLOOR OKAY!! So tedious :( But well, before she started all that b-boy crap, the other 'techniques/warm ups/movements' were okay :)

Went to bathe and had arts history lesson. We went to this theater-like room where they had this super comfy sofa-like chairs. Went to sit at the last row and I wanted to sleep. The female teacher did alot of ntroduction about Art and Dayale did some presentation on persentation skills. Hahaha Dayale's sucha funny guy.

Had an hour's break. God that one hour flew by so fast. The 3.5 hour long performance project started... I just can't stand how boring it is. I waste time there every single day. I really wonder what's the final product of this whole performance project nonsense.

Went for dinner at Mos burger with Andrea. She was so indecisive! At first she said she wanted to go home. Then she said she wanted to go eat ToriQ. Then she said she wanted to go to the adidas shop at Bugis+. Then she wanna go The Body Shop but before we could even reach there, she wanted to eat Mos Burger. LOL that's how we ended up there. (Sorry. Too many thens. HAHAHA.) Stomach giving me alot of problems recently sigh sigh sigh. Talked alot and slacked there till 9plus because this girl didn't wanna leave! HAHA

Reached home before 10 and started practicing my 6 step move. So hard to go across the floor... I literally dropped on the floor after my 3rd set. Sigh sigh sigh. Don't know how i'll fare. Sigh sigh sigh.

I think it feels good to know that there are many who care when you're down. I'm envious of people who get those kind of love from their loved ones. Why don't i feel any of such love when i'm down? All i get is 4 walls to myself and this blog that i write almost anything. I wished i was borned with a happier character, a more cheerful and fun-loving person. Or at least some looks or body to attract some attention so people will come to me and say hi. Why wasn't I.... Inperfection to the maximum. Hateful face, a rather boring personality, very problematic skin, a body filled with unwanted fats. I think a need to bang my head on one of the 4 walls. 

Suddenly my future seems so dark, and i'm afraid.