Lots of love

Yay! I'm done with my asian dance essay in less than 2hours!!! Thought i'd take forever but I'm done! Finally one thing less to think of in my mind. Still got another horrible 1000 word essay, rhythm ensemble research and a 2minute choreography assessment to think of.... >< Of course there's ballet assessment to worry about too but that.... I just gotta keep practicing and practicing.

PP was so boring and sleepy today. I practically just slacked at the frass/D201 doing nothing because i was not in the item that was rehearsed today. I was soooo hungry that I just had no energy to move around or talk. Didn't eat anything until 5pm except for tauhuey before i left for school.

I can't believe PP is finally gonna be over after this week. I will totally miss the times spent with the people from other courses in my faculty. It also means 1 less class with Afiq and Shafiq, which makes me even sad-der thinking about it :( But then again~ We're gonna have so many collabs next year so I should be happy about it~~~!!! Honestly speaking, PP kinda is better with the music but still not as good as what i expected. Harris cancelled tomorrow's Yoga lesson!!! So we can sleep in a little more than any weekday~~ I'm so happy!!!

Ok moving on. So we went to Popeyes for dinner. Initial plan was to go home after dinner but Shafiq was looking so sad because he didn't wanna go home so early and he was thinking so hard about what he should do to kill time.. I felt so bad and sad.. Lucky Andrea agreed that we can all go back to school together with them. So we did. Went back to the frass. Slacked and talked nonsense. I can't believe Andrea called me a HAWK!!!! HAHAHA made me laugh so much.

Sometimes I can't believe their opinions/comments on us because they are just so close to us, there is definitely biasness in their opinions. It's like how our parents are forever praising their children just because we're their children and we know it no matter how much they say it's not because of that. I also feel like sometimes they just say it for the sake of entertaining us. (omg i just read through the post i posted yesterday and realised i mentioned about this too)

Reached home at 10 and started my essay at about 10.30~ I'm about to head to bed~

So i've heard 2 sides of the story. I kinda have nothing to say actually. I don't really know how to put it in good words and I'm afraid I will say something wrong and probably hurt either one of them. So i think i should just keep quiet. Plus i really want both of them to be happy. I really wish i can do something to make them happy. It hurts to know they are upset. Who am I to say anything anyway right??? Whatever it is, I think they are brave to be able to tell us their problems. I know if it's me, i'll definitely not know how to open my mouth and just suffer alone, like i always do.

I feel bad right now for all the times I'm mad about ketupat silently. I feel like I'm adding unneccesary burden to him for no reason. I can see and feel that he's trying so hard recently to equal his love among the 3 of us and I'm kinda stressed up everytime he gets stressed when he sees Andrea stomp away.. I shall stop it. I shall not feel out of place or what not anymore even if I feel that way. I can do it i can do it. It's just normal that someone is bound to be closer to someone in a group. I'm just abnormal for feeling all these nonsense. Maybe i'm not a big cause of his sadness but at least if there is one more happier person, the whole group will be a tad happier than before, right? I THINK SO.... I DON'T EVEN KNOW LA IT'S 12 PLUS IN THE MORNING I'M TIRED AND I'M STILL THINKING T_T I really can't guarantee anything but i will seriously try. I've done it before and i know i can do it again~ He doesn't read my blog but haha i love you Shafiq~

In life we always have to learn to forgive and forget~ Goodnight everybody!!!