Went to class feeling very uneasy and looking like a zombie yesterday. Couldn't concentrate in ballet class because i was very tired... I wanted to just sit out of class because I really had no mood to do ballet. Obviously that's a wrong attitude towards ballet but what can i do.... Shin and ankle felt so pain because Elizabeth kept asking me to do the stupid jumps. I was so tired so i couldn't jump properly. Maybe because of that I hurt my ankle and shin again.. I didn't dare to say my ankle was hurting because i was scared. During Viewpoints, i didn't do runs and 4,6,12s because if i did, i think my shin would just be bruised for life. Had an hour break then contemp started. It was Susan's class today. Her routine was not that hard but i had to kinda restraint my movements a little in case i anyhow twist my ankle. It's so 'loooose'. I feel it. I feel like it might just twist anytime. So scary. I fell down while doing grand jetes..... I DIDNT EXPECTED MYSELF TO FALL.... Sigh. I hate it when she praises the class. Cuz she will always talk about the ones who's lagging behind and I'm always sure she's talking about me because she will always eye contact with me when she talks about it. Irritates me so much. I WOULD FUCKING PUT IN MY 110% IF MY LEG WAS FULLY HEALED AND RECOVERED. Wait I DID PUT IN MY ALL. Why can't she say something like I improved........
Spent my time with Shafiq and Jingwen while Andrea was away for Research and writing class. I just slacked all the way till 7.30 because Afiq and Shafiq were busy with their art history presentation. Then they had a show to watch. So me and Andrea went on a "date" at Billy Bombers LOL. Like i said.... I went into class feeling very uneasy. So i told her how i felt and what was going on. She didn't believe me. She kept telling me I was wrong. Bla bla bla. Well i wished i was wrong too -_- Talked very long. I love days like this with Andrea. Nyahahaha i love her!!!!! We went to check out the new Plaza Sing. THE AMBIENCE IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT NOW. It feels like freaking ion+somerset. Went home and slept~!!!!
Went to school late because i was that sick of 8.30 lessons. Hip hop was a killer..... The new choreo's nice but it's very fast and hard. Made my leg hurt so much :( Tomorrow's the test. Just kill me.
My first half of the afternoon was so shitty. Andrea finally believed what i told her was right. She got her confirmation today and she kept crying. It pissed me off because to me, they are not worth your tears at all. You know what, i really don't care about them. Their existence to me, is really nothing. It's thinner than air. If they are assuming things and then assume again that we know what we did wrong, then I really got nothing to say. I'm pretty fucking sure we did nothing wrong. & what you did right there, that's cyber bullying, JUST SO YOU KNOW. Another thing, to clear up your messy brain, i don't PRETEND to be nice. I AM nice. & when i don't like a particular person, I'll show it straight in that person's fucked up face that i dislike that person. I don't pretend to like that person. I won't even be goody goody friends with that person. Whatever it is, karma will hit on you. (i guess it already did)
Spent that few hours of break after art history with Shafiq and Andrea. Shafiq brightened up our day. I felt cheered up somehow just by spending time with him. Just his presence makes me feel happy. Andrea felt it too. I know I don't tell them my problems. I know I'm not as open as Jingwen and Andrea. But I still always feel happy everytime i see them. I feel very home!!!!! They make me feel very comfortable. Sometimes I wish I can hug them so tight and never let go, especially when I'm feeling down. But then there's this tiny barrier that i feel that i shouldnt cross everytime.... I don't know how to explain it. Boohoo kinda sad to think about it but...... NOPE I shouldnt think about it. Sobs i love you guys. I don't like to write things like that on the chat group that we're in. THEY HARDLY REPLY TO ME OMG. Do they think that i'm not serious or what? LOL kukubirds. That's one thing about group chats that i hate. OH WELLLLLL... Can't explain it, don't know how to show it either. Just hope you feel it. :)
Had dinner at Just Acia with them and talked alot. Jingwen drained our braincells!!!! She should give us more of those nonsense questions though!! It's very interesting and makes you wanna die just cuz you are dying to know the answer. Went home at 10~
Tomorrow's Friday!!!!! WOOHOO finally a weekend where i do not need to return to school. SO HAPPY~~~
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