Life goes on

Hey y'all.

Hip hop was fun today. I'm so thankful that Mycs is our teacher. I love you!!!~ We learnt a new choreography. I still couldn't get the step that I should've gotten yesterday. I was so upset with myself. Totally blaming myself the whole day since yesterday. Think I pissed Priscilla off considering the fact that she totally embarrassed me infront of the whole class and even Mycs was around. Yes I'm a slow learner. Yes I can't get stuff fast. BUT WHY PUT THE BLAME ON ME? I mean like if someone can get the step, shouldn't that person just be concentrating on themselves in the mirror instead of looking everywhere else!? Oh my god I felt helpless when everyone was laughing at me.

Body conditioning was just insane. On the way back to school, they were talking about who is doing the dance well and who isn't. Didn't dare to say anything lol. I myself did so badly. Sigh sigh sighz. Mycs said that I just didn't have the confidence. SIGH SIGH SIGH.... Contemp was bloody boring. I just don't like Leah's class. Period....

Went for the injury workshop thingy again and then left school for dinner. Had Strictly Pancakes. It was so impromptu. LOL ok got out of the shop as full as a ball. Andrea and Jingwen wanted to go back to school to sleep on the frass. I think I should name them the frass sisters. Hahahaha... Asked if mummy could fetch me home and she said yes. Yay 3 cheers for you mum~ Was kinda like ranting to mum throughout the whole ride and for once she was actually replying the way a friend would reply to me. How amazing and shocking. Feeling happy right now and yeah phew~

So I've been reading through my past blogs. Sad how after so long, my blog posts are all about the same few things. Demoralization, Miserable, Sadness, Weight issues, Parents. What the hell it never gets old. There was this particular blog that no one knows about. Like it's locked so even if you knew, you couldn't read it. Oh wait a second... K yes there was this person who badly wanted to read what was in the blog. I was sooooooo reluctant to but he was kinda like my..... super super crush of the crush crush crush so I eventually invited him into it.  BLAH shouldn't have. One of the posts was about him, and I didn't want him to know so I just put big bold words and changed the whole post into white so it'll blend with the background HAHAHA. How dumb right LOL. It was all my true feelings about a few people who meant alot to me in the past.

This came from different posts in 2009:

"I don't believe i'm so easy to be replaced.. I just don't understand.
I treat each of my friends equally good. I don't quarrel with them at all.
But seriously, none of them put me in their hearts...
When i need a shoulder to cry on, no one's there.
When i need a listening ear, no one's there..
Those people who thinks they are always here for me, they are so fake.
All they tell me is that i'm pretty, so on and so fourth. I'm not.
So if i'm pretty, i'll have more people listening to my sorrows?
Where got liddat one... Why people all so fake one..
I dont understand why must i treat people so kind yet i get shit in the end..
Dont know what to do with my life now. No one to talk to.
No one to scold. No one to laugh at. No one to hug. No one."

"I want to find a best friend. A friend which i can call anytime of the day.
A friend which i can cry to any part of my life.
A friend that i can trust to keep any secrets i tell them.
A friend that i can depend on to help me with ups and downs of my life.
Í've got none... I look as if i know alot of people.
SO WHAT. You don't know what's real friends yet if you say i've got alot of friends.
I haven't met a true friend at all. One true friend is enough to make my whole soul happy.
One. One. One. It's only one... D:" 

How sad I took friendship so seriously in the past yet no one gives a shit about me, causing me to lose hope entirely. I guess it's a blessing in disguise. I mean I no longer get upset over tiny things cuz when you don't expect, you don't get hurt.

Such a sad blog... Boohoo why am I such a person!!! Always say that I need to change but I just don't!!!

Kkkkkkk life goes on. Just gotta move on. No matter how fucked up this world is, we still gotta live.