Weight Obsession

Ballet was pretty ok today... No comments on ballet. I just love the Pose Pirouette en dedan turns. Looking so graceful~~~~ Hehee actually the enchainments for this sem is much more dancey compared to last sem's... Got so mad after I changed for hip hop. Don't even wanna say why in case gurl's reading my blog and making a nuisance on her private twitter. But just to let you know, I don't even wanna respond to your horrible comments because it's a waste of my saliva and a second of my life to even respond to whatever you said. I don't like frenemies.

Hip hop was infuriating. So we completed the new choreo and then we started to polish our own dances. I got pissed because it was obvious that no one was actually in the class. Their soul's totally not there and even simple counting also cannot count right. We had to repeat and repeat the same part just because nobody's focusing. If you wanna count, count properly. If you wanna sing the beat, SING THE CORRECT BEAT. If you can't sing the beat THEN COUNT. Don't tell me to chill when you sang the wrong beat and made everyone confused and pretend nothing's wrong. Really, please be serious when you need to. I'm gonna quote Jingwen. You need to learn to put down your man pride. Well.... & I can't stand how there's this obvious level of difference. Like it's already stuck in everybody's brains. Like whatever that one particular person says is always correct because he/she is usually quite good in remember her steps and stuff. & when I try to say or correct something, nobody listens because I feel like people's thinking "Nah I don't think she's right she's not good enough to tell me this". You guys do know that no one's perfect right? God IT'S JUST INFURIATING. People need to learn how to LISTEN. Ears are for listening.

We had this guest artist, Alvin, who came in to like teach us in a way. He's the "coach" who taught the people in the singing competition called Sunsilk Academy Fantasia. The moment he stepped in, I thought he was sooooooo damn familiar because he was wearing a brown shirt. Oh FYI his like "trademark" is his monk-looking clothes. He always wears a brown top and a dark brown pants. ALWAYS. I wonder if he has other clothes. & then I saw his specs and knew immediately that it was him. Wow we laughed like mad during his class. So funny!!!! I kinda knew what he was gonna do already because he did the same thing on TV to the singers. Hahaha awesome it brought me some happiness after such a depressing week.

BUT.....

Happiness doesn't stay. 

As if I'm not already depressed enough about so many other things, weight had to keep coming into my mind today. To end off my day with my already-full-of-weight-problems brain, I got a comment that I looked slimmer in the past. That's one of the worst comments you can ever receive in your life. That photo was taken during the period where I literally ate like 1 meal per day. Or consumed like only 300calories. Lol yes I'm gonna do that.

Sick of this. When will i ever not think of my weight and how fat i am? NEVER MAN. NEVER. Why can't weight just go down and never come back up? Don't tell me I'm doing nothing about it. I am but it's just progressing too slowly and even I can't take it. I'm going extreme this time. Do. Not. Care. Anymore.