Alright I'm a mentally…… everywhere right now. Like there's so many unneccesary thoughts in my head once again.. Sigh.

I shall blog what happened yesterday because… Because.

So I slept the whole day. Watched a few episodes of "Awkward" and slept again till about 5-ish in the evening. "Awkward" is such a relatable show I just don't know how is that even possible. Maybe let's just leave out the sex part but well almost everything else are just… RELATABLE.

Met up with Jazreel and went to Haji. I've never tried sheesha in my life and I thought I would never try it. Apparently not. I did and it was okay at first. It didnt hit me that nicotine lowers your blood pressure. Like what the…. My blood pressure was already not so normal. I didn't eat much yesterday too and I was having the time of the month. -_- We had drinks too. I was feeling weird ALL OF A SUDDEN. It felt so drama-ish like I couldn't even believe it myself. I was looking at Jaz but the things behind her were all starting to blur out. Like the instagram effect where you focus on the person and you blur the background..? Yes that. Then my hearing started to fade off. I couldn't really hear what she was saying. I didn't know what was wrong with me. It couldn't have been the beer because I was only on my 2nd bottle and I've never been like that before?! I didn't even thought that it was the sheesha. It never came across my mind at all…. I told her I needed the toilet. She pointed to me that toilet but I didn't dare to stand up because I know if I stood up, I'll definitely fall. Or rather I was scared that I'd fall. She gave me the "why isn't she standing up" look and repeated to me where the toilet was. So i stood up again hoping she didn't think I was weird.

My seat and the door wasn't even that far a distance. It was less than 10metres. As I was nearing the door, my vision totally gone away. I couldn't see and I couldn't feel and I definitely couldn't hear. I think I pushed the door and I just fell flat on the floor. Everything was so fucking surreal. People were crowding around me asking if I was okay but I couldn't respond at all. I couldn't move nor could I talk. They held me up to the chair and I still couldn't see anything even though I was already in the "awake" state. I could hear though, they said to bring me a glass of water. & that glass of water was a life saviour man. Jaz came in and was so shocked she couldn't even respond. She asked me "LOW BLOOD!?" I was like shit wtf I think so. Only then it struck me that nicotine lowers ur blood pressure. I mean that's what it does what?! I also think that oxygen wasn't able to travel to my brain, hence the blackout. But you know what? I suck at biology so yeah I don't know.

It was such a scary moment…. I rested awhile and then Jaz helped me flag a cab. That wasn't the end of my scary night… Because I haven't seen her in such a long time, it was such a pity that the night was so short…. So we hugged each other real tight and long because I hopped onto the taxi because we never know when we're gonna see each other again. I mean c'mon it's normal right?!

I got onto the taxi, and told the uncle where to bring me. The uncle replied me "why you hug her so tight?" I thought it was just a random question so I just said I haven't seen her in very long. Then he replied "huh so you never see me also do I get a hug?" That was the moment I knew that it was just gonna be one helluva awkward and uncomfortable ride home. & yes I was right. He kept asking me why we hugged so tight. He told me people might think we're lesbians. Wtf i told him in our generation it was so damn normal to hug girls. He replied "HOW IS THAT NORMAL?! YOU HUG ME THEN NORMAL." Omg what was his god damn deal?!?!?!? I didn't answer him. Then he asked how long I haven't met her. I told him a year plus and he asked if I met her coincidentally. I told him no we planned to meet up. & he said "eh then ok la you guys can meet up anytime leh. You see you and me we don't even have each other's number. Want to see each other again also cannot leh." Wa fuck i was so fucking uncomfortable I never answer him again. Then obviously his next move was ask my number. Argh I was so annoyed I just didn't answer him. Of course I didn't wanna provoke him in case he send me somewhere else omg. So i just "ha ha haha" abit here and there la. Luckily it was a short ride and there was no jam. Sigh pies so scary…. Throughout the whole ride he "mei nu" here "mei nu" there and kept looking at me I WAS SO FREAKED OUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA. The day that I decide to wear a freaking dress I had to meet someone like him omg.

I reached home and immediately conked out. Ok not really. I just switched off my lights because lights just give me a bigger headache and lay on my bed. Waited for my brother to come back at 12-ish and then we just hung out and I told him about my horrible experience HAHAHA.. I'm so happy that I've gotten closer to him. It's awesome :)

I had like a weird dream last night. Some bad people kept me and a few other people hostage at a HDB flat and I was the hero in my own dream la obviously. But I didn't dream finish because well, text messages woke me up. I only managed to escape. It was such a scary dream too omg I think it's post-trauma from the taxi ride.

Went to watch the Jackie Chan movie just now with the family and I kinda got a shock? Because I felt like my dream just replayed?!?!?! It was also many people being kept hostage. Except it was in a club/bar.. Jackie Chan was the hero. Ok la I wasn't as heroic as him. Maybe cuz I woke up too early HAHAHA but still…. So freaky how did I dream of something like that and then end up watching a show that was somewhat similar to my dream in the same day!?!? Fyi, I didn't know what the jackie chan movie was about before I watched it. No clue at all -_- But it was an awesome movie~~~ I love movies like that it's such thrilling. Thrilling in a good way, not scary or horrifying way. That kind…. Not my kind of thrill.

Oh well my Saturday ended well. Not well enough though.. I know he's working and all but I'm just sad I can't see whether he's online or not!!! I feel like he's in such a far away place and it's so unreachable. & when I finally get a reply it's like a miracle -_- Lol…. Now I know what he meant when he said this to me while I was still in Europe "When you come online, it feels like you're in Singapore…" I FEEL LIKE HE IS SO FAR AWAY NOW OMG SO RETARDED I KNOW BUT!!!! Now I just gotta admit that even though last seens are killers to the heart but I just can't live without it. At least if it's there I know if he slept already. Or something like that la we are all victims of this last seen shit man I swear. Argh.

Meh killing me softly meh.