Felt by the heart

Coach ling made my heart ache today. Had his wushu class but he spent 15minutes talking to us.. He knew I was really sad and beaten down by Albert. Even though he was telling the whole class about it but there were instances where I knew he was just talking to me because of eye contact.. I love how fatherly he felt. In this world not all teachers are like him. I really appreciate and am so grateful and lucky to have met a teacher like him.. 

Slept during my breaks because I was just that tired... School today was actually quite slack. Well this whole week is actually quite slack until Thursday comes. I really think it's because I've been thinking about too much shit. Been bothered by this someone the whole afternoon. Did she have to announce it to the whole world? Like whatever I don't even wanna step into her drama world. She thinks it's fun then yeah ok go ahead and have fun on ur own. Lol. You being so drama and all just shows what kind of a person you are. You don't even know me that well so how can you even say you don't like me? Argh.

Also, how can you just randomly wake up and miss someone so much? It just happened again this morning like the other day except I didn't dream about anything. I just didn't had a good sleep. I woke up like so many times in the middle of the night. & it's not like I slept that early... I slept at almost 2. Woke up at 4 and after 6am, I woke up after every 15minutes. Sigh sucks when you can't even talk to the person that you miss. Hope that food monster is surviving well in the jungle with all the wild animals hahahaha.. Can Friday just come already?!!? I need to see that botak hahahahaha (don't read this and send me brokenhearted emojis again OR ELSEEEEE)

Sometimes following your heart is a really stupid thing to do. "She's just a little too scared to be close because everyone who said they'd be there, left." We all know how much shit feelings I've been through the past few months. Time and time again I get disappointed by the people whom I truly care about. It gets tiring really after awhile. I don't want to let the world know that I'm actually such a weakling at heart but I just can't seem to hide it. Hence I'm building up all these unknown walls.... That I don't even realise at times. I'm still learning to slowly tear those walls down. Because when you learn to face your fears that's when you grow up.

I will survive Albert's class this Thursday. Because of my mom's words, because of Coach Ling's words and Andrea's.... I will do it because I don't wanna be a sore loser. I don't know if this is my ego talking but I know I am stronger than what I think I am. Scold me for all you want... I will make sure I will take all your words in like a man and make no mistakes this Thursday. Because in Albert's class you gotta really "CONCEAL DON'T FEEL." Block block block block like a shield lol... -_-