I cannot do this anymore. Argh fak I'm always getting scolded. I really don't know how to do this anymore. The stress level is too high for me to take but I don't want to go to Peishan's class either. I want to talk to Melissa about it yet I have no idea what I want to do. 

Early in the morning already cry like a baby. Can't do this. 3 more months is not a fucking joke.

So this was what happened. I made a mistake for his last exercise. So I stopped halfway because I blanked out again and I didn't even know where I should continue from. I thought he would say "AGAIN" like he always does but he didn't. Instead he scolded me and asked me to get out of the class in Chinese. So I did la wtf. If I stood there I probably would've been thrown a chair in my damn face. 

I went to coach ling and sat there thinking what I should do with Albert. After 5 minutes he asked Priscilla to ask me go back to the studio. Wtf and he scolded me again. He asked if he wanted to go other class. He told me he complained to my programme leader about me. He said he really don't know how to teach me anymore. After scolding he screamed in my face to tell me to do class. WHAT THE HECK HE CHASED ME OUT. Why is he fucking screaming at me every single lesson?! IM SO ANNOYED. He left class after that. Cuz he stopped lesson. Good job I was so happy cuz I really couldn't continue his class with so many things on my mind. Am I really that fucking bad?! This is so demoralizing I can't even. 

I went out and that was when I started crying. The thought of having his classes every alternate weekday for the next 3 months makes me crazy. How am I going to survive? I was so close to giving up and really thinking of going to peishan's class because I really couldn't take it. But I don't want to be a loser in class, don't want to be named as the one who gave up. Then again wouldn't that be my ego talking? Why am I thinking so much of what others think of me? If I can't take it I can't take it la right?!?! Fuck this is so miserable... I'll definitely feel so much better after giving up Albert's class. BUT I'll be the one losing out because everyone in class would know his exercises and probably excel further while I'm still going to be stuck here forever. SO ANNOYED!!!!!!!!!! 

So my afternoon wasn't that bad. Jazz was surprisingly NOT TIRING. Like everyone was having fun and all. Even though we were punished with so many push ups cuz the class couldn't remember simple steps it was still fun!!! Loved it!!! 

After jazz was hip hop by XT. Oh god he was so awkward and black face when he came into studio. So not him because at danzpeople he's always hyper and noisy. He was like "the only person I know here is Edem and erm.... -points at me- I know you but I don't your name." dang. So we did all the introduction crap and the whole class was basic groove. The way he teaches his basic groove is so different from kayte :( It was so tiring. I think I said it before basic groove class is like so much more tiring than an open class. But I like it... Hahaha

Lately I've been having many dreams that felt so real. Dreams before school. I woke up missing someone so badly today even though he wasn't the person that I dreamt about. That person was definitely someone I saw before because he was so familiar but...... LOL argh I told myself I'd remember my dream so I could tell people BUT it is only very clear the moment I wake up. After an hour I totally forget what happened. SO SAD 

Tomorrow's finally Friday... The end of the week is here. My body is too tired. My muscles are on spasm mood. I need rest.