Miracles

Hello guys do you miss me. Cuz I don't lol

Finally the end of the week..... I survived.... Be proud of me my readers... I never even skip any classes this week despite of my insanely pain shin splints and my extremely aching body. Like crazy ache. There's an awkward bruise on my buttock and it hurts every time I sit down. Consequences of not landing properly during class. Sighpiez. Been rushing this assignment that assignment here there everywhere. Goodness me like why. Want to kill myself already. Totally wishing a car would just run me down anytime soon. Lol touch wood but yeah.

Slept at like 2ish on thursday cuz of work. Also thinking what would happen if I don't manage to give him his present cuz I might not bump into him... I told myself I would keep it for myself to wear if I have no fate to see him. Lol. I dreamt of him last night.... Yet again. It makes me so sad that my dreams are so much better than reality.

"Everytime I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise. No one compares to you. I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side. But there's no you, except in my dreams tonight. I don't wanna wake up from this tonight."

Okay so god was on my side this time and I managed to pass him his gift. Don't really know what kind of reaction was that but okay. My job's done.... Yay to the last day of showing my feelings for you. Time to say goodbye to this unrequited crush. Happy birthday.

I still stand by my own rule: To club only when I'm sad or stressed. Yup I'm so happy I have something on tomorrow night. Keep me off of school and assessments and any other shitty stuff I wish I can throw them all away. 

For the whole of last night I really felt like shit man really really felt like shit. I felt like I was ready to let go of it all yet....... I still felt like it hurts. Why sia why shan you're crazy. Daddy and mummy was singing karaoke in the living room so i joined them. DIDN'T HELPED ME. ONLY MADE ME SADDER. BECAUSE I CHOSE SAD SONGS. Like Avril Lavigne's Happy Ending. Lana Del Rey's Dark Paradise and Summertime Sadness.... What the hell man. Sang till like 11ish I decided to stop making people cry with my horrible voice and just drown in my own sorrows. Sad Friday night.... 

Then......... suddenly some sort of a miracle happened. Don't even know what's going now though. I really don't know la fuck I'm so mad. Sigh...... Supposed to be my studying day. But now liddat how to study? Study what? No matter how many reasons there are to walk away from all of these, I would still find one to stay. 

My Saturday's plans changed all of a sudden. This is so unexpected. SOOOOOOO unexpected. OK YOLO. 2014 is my yolo year. Please pray for me that i survive tonight. Thank you thank you lord too