I actually planned to party this weekend. But I don't know how I just psychoed myself out of it. Lol I'm amazing. Didn't want to waste my time feeling wasted in the club and feeling like shit the next day. Wow and an article kinda made me even more determined to stay home. LOL. I just like staying out late at night. I just wish there were more things to do at night you know. I'm such a night person I hate going out in the afternoon when the sun is up. It annoys me that the world is so bright. LOL!!!! I'm dead serious. I really wish people slept in the morning and afternoons and our lives start in the night. I mean yeah that's called night life but I want something more than just partying.... Like staying over at the beach just to talk and chill and see the night sky, with maybe a glass of Cosmo. Or maybe just cycling along the shores... That's the kind of life I want!!!!! Not get wasted and cry because I can't puke the shit that I drank....

I'm currently at the state where I just stone everyday because I refuse to think not plan my life out. There's so much to think about I just wanna escape. My future is such a blur and conversations that I hear about me..... and my future..... There's no light man. Someone please tell me what to do if I ever retain. Concentrate on hip hop? How on earth? I don't even have any connections. Don't even have any experience. Don't even know where to start. Cries I feel so sad for myself but that's like self pitying and no I don't wanna freaking self pity myself! LOL 

I also don't know why I've been sick for so long. This is the second week of me being sick already!!!! So torturing... I definitely missing out on life. Haha my yolo moments. I need a friend who wants to yolo with me HAHAHAHA. Gosh what am I talking about my Friday night was sad & I can't take it. I hope tomorrow will be a better day. Looooong day tomorrow. Next week will be a better week. I foresee it. Just hope Lili doesn't pangseh. I'm pathetic. I meet up with Becky so often nowadays it's as if I'm meeting up with my boyfriend for dates. I talk to Andrea on the phone every night for so many hours, also as if I'm talking to my boyfriend every night. But wow I'm single as fuck. Hi guys. HAHAHAHA... 

Movie marathon right now. Can't wait for my face to freaking recoverrrrrr