Wut

I have the weirdest thoughts ever.... LOL

I was just scrolling through my own blog and then.... "What if my future kids found my blog and go like "OMG MUMMY'S BLOG.... OMG HER LIFE. WHY LIKE THIS"" Lol -_-

I've been reviving my iPad yesterday night. I haven't used it ever since I've gotten my iPhone 5s but okay since now it's gone, I'm back to using my iPad. Found a few random videos of my early 2013 life and I was just like aw.... Sigh So much have changed in just a few months. I wouldn't say a year. Because I'm sure I was pretty much the same until this year Jan. What has happened to me really? I know it's so annoying that on every post I'll have to mention about something about me being different. But really... I've never felt like this before. I wouldn't say I don't know if it's good or bad because I kinda know it's more bad than good. So I was like putting in 2014 photos in and all I needed to do was to look at those photos, and I could already tell what a different person I was from then and now.  MAYBE I'm kinda learning more about myself and.... maybe this is one part of me that I'll never be able to accept or tell the world to.

I've never felt this vulnerable in my entire life. I was craving so bad to just hug someone like a koala bear and never let go. Ok la I actually think I won't have the time to think about such things when school reopens. I want to be a better performer, be a better self. Might die in contemp but please I want to die gracefully. I think that's my aim for this semester. To have nicer extensions. To hold my core like some fucking retard and make sure I don't look sloppy as hell. I can't guarantee i'll be spontaneous in class like volunteering myself to do things but..... I AIM TO NOT BE A COWARD.

A few more days till school reopens. Goodluck to me :')

I guess we have to learn to live with mistakes that we've made in our lives. I'm really thankful to those who have stood by me. Like how much more can I ask for? A friendship takes years to build. I'm so glad our paths have been crossed. What can I do with you guys? I don't need to mention names because they know who they are. They are like precious gems that I can never do without. I can tell them anything in the world and I am not a tad afraid of whether or not they'll judge me. Because I know they won't.

I've opened my eyes to so many rubbish people out there. So many I just really want to close my eyes to but I guess it's still better to know than to not know. That's always my rule. Do not let the whole world know everything that you know. Let them be. If they think you're ignorant, just know that you know you're not. They will just end up fooling themselves because you know hella more than them. I'll take my parents for example. I can spend hours and days and months and years telling them I know what I'm doing. But in their eyes I'm forever a young kid that knows nothing about the world and a wolf might just come and swallow me down. What can you do about it? Nothing. Just accept it and move on.

I've finally opened up to people that I know will stay. I know they are trustworthy and I've stepped out of building unnecessary walls. Like what? They are people that would be there for me. I know it. I love them and they know it too.

I know I've been really nonsensical. My past 2 blog posts. I know I've been rambling so much and no one even knows what I'm talking about. But it's okay. I suddenly alright now because I know they are there for me.  I'll give myself a few more days.. I'll be alright. I know I will I know I will. Because after all it's the people that stood by me that matters. Who gives a shit to anyone elseeeeeee NOOOOO I don't care. & this is probably one of the most immature thing I've been saying my entire life but.... "YOU'RE ONLY YOUNG ONCE" So yeah whatever it is. I'll stay strong.