Project week's over.... School all over again on Monday... But countdown 7 weeks. Soon very fast very fast

Was stressing the whole week over this stupid NAC scholarship interview shit... Felt so bad kept on passing my stressful vibes to Dylan.


Woke up at 11 to meet Dylan before the interview. Initial plan was to go to school early, print my shit and then go watch the Purge. But this boy... late like almost half an hour so plans got ruined. I reached school, done my shit and it was already 12.30 12.40. We were planning to watch a 1.20pm movie at cine. But we haven't even eaten our lunch...  So we decided to give the movie a miss. Went to eat instead. Haiyo I feel so bad everytime go out he pay everything. Seriously everything.. After we ate we didn't know where to go... So we just loitered around nearby places. Becuz we passed by this bar looking place at little india before going to my sch, Dylan wanted to go there. So we did.... & we just sat there till my interview time. Becuz I had soooo much time to think about the interview I almost thought of skipping it. Like I had totally no confidence at all and I really don't see myself talking through a bloody course I don't even know about. Sucks to be me. Like I said even though I was trying very hard to keep my cool about it, couldn't hide the fact that I was so stressed. I'm so thankful for Dylan.... He did help calm me down. Well yeah drank 2 glasses of margaritas before interview. #YOLO

Woah i felt so relieved after the interview. RELIEVED AS SHITTTTT. Spent the next few hours with Dylan still. Technically he accompanied the wholeeee day. Heart to heart talks and all. Stupid he made me cry. Omg which idiot.... Ok so this boy is going Germany for 3 freaking weeks for army training next week. So today is the last time i see him until he comes back on the 23rd Oct. So actually in my heart I'm already very sad la. Then he kepttttt on asking me "Sigh.... will you cry...?" OMG THAT IS THE ONE QUESTION ONE SHOULD NEVER ASK ME OK. Suddenly all sorts of emotions flooded into my mind. Him treating me like a princess.. Him leaving... Him giving me so much of his care and concern... Maybe his feelings will fade... All this shit. Then i cried. I don't expect him to understand anything. I mean I cried because I see myself falling.... & THAT FUCKING SUCKS. THAT MEANS I'M STARTING TO FEEL ALL OVER AGAIN. I'm scared. I don't want. What if it all ends?... It took me a long time to open up. & then he started reassuring me and all that... Sigh Dylan what should I do about you..

Sometimes I don't believe I'm 19 years old. He was telling me that if he's in a relationship now he really just wants to settle down because he's already 23. & Then he look at me and he said.. "but you're only 19... you're still young you haven't seen the world enough yet. When I was 19 I was still playing around." & all that went through my mind was.... If I found someone I love and if he feels right, I'd settle. I told that to my friends before. I'm really so sick of playing around. I don't feel the joy anymore. All I feel is even more loneliness after that. The aftermath kills.

I don't know. I'm gonna miss you koala bear. See you in 3 weeks..