Heart never felt so pain before

One whole week of hell.

I don't even know why. The days weren't draggy. But every night I feel so fucking tired. and sleepy. & even if I sleep a lil more than the day before i still wake up late for school. 

I'm driving myself crazy. I hate that my heart breaks everytime I feel so unappreciated. Like why? Fuck feelings seriously fuck that I feel so much all the time. LIKE WHY THE FUCK EVEN. I hate that I can't say what I wanna say in a way where I won't sound offensive. I hate that I just am so passive I just let things happen. I just let it pass all the time. I just tell myself never mind it's okay. BUT FUCK IT OK IT MATTERS IT IS NOT OKAY AND THE FACT THAT IM ACTUALLY RESPONDING LIKE THIS KINDA SHOWS HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO ME. Fuck my life what kind of shit. You do not know how frightening it is that I'm feeling so much for a person. You do not know how I DO NOT want to go back to the position of heartaches and heartbreaks and shit. I'm just disappointed ok. You are disappointing. Heart PAIN DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND. 

What a sucky friday. What a sucky week really. It's been accumulated. & I'm super tired. I know you never ask me to stay up. BUT I CHOOSE TO. I shouldn't be complaining but at least be appreciative? Why is it never enough for you? Why are you always asking for more more more? What if I say I have nothing more to offer? You'd disappear? WILL YOU? Then disappear. Because really I've said from the start I DO NOT NEED SOMEONE THAT DOESN'T STAY. I don't know what the fuck am I even doing. Like what????? I'm just feeling so much disappointment and sadness and heartbreak right now I can't even type a proper structured post okay. I just need somewhere I rant. I don't have any bloody person to tell this to. I hate this so much like why!!!!!! Kns. :( But oh wells. Why does it hurt so bad. DO I HAVE A HEART PROBLEM THAT I DO NOT KNOW ABOUT?????!?! God i don't know. 

I'm sorry this is such a bad post. I'm sorry I'm just.... fuck man I don't even know if I'm pmsing. I probably am but seriously... Maybe because I'm pmsing thats why I have the guts to post such shit what right. 

I know we'll get through this. BUT I'M JUST VERY DISAPPOINTED RIGHT NOW OK.