Somebody's coming back next week OH MY GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I AM. LOLOL I've been through 1 over week of torture it's been crazy. Last Monday to Thursday was honestly horrible. We're all busy and tired.. I understand. The time difference DOESN'T HELP AT ALL. I swear I've been so tired recently because I've been staying up just so there are conversations everyday. TIME DIFFERENCE IS HORRIBLE.
I was happy on Friday though... Though you're so far but on Friday I felt close to you. I was so happy we finally caught up on stuff and all. I don't quite know how to explain this feeling. It's like because we're so busy everyday that even though we're talking to each other, we're not really talking. So yeah :') Was even happier because I met up with Jaz. I love that bitch for real. We're real. Hahaaha.
Went abit bonkers last night. Made a yolo decision to sleep at 3... Fml BLAME THE TIME DIFFERENCE. Yes this whole post i'll be blaming everything on the time difference. My heart ached so bad last night I couldn't even. I knew he was in trouble yet I can't do anything to help. Not only that, I WAS SO FAR AWAY FROM HIM. I can't even give him a hug cuz he's ten thousand miles away. My heart literally broke when he say "I really need a hug from you right now" I'm just like oh my god don't do this to me. So yeah I thought I should just stay up so he could have someone to talk to or something. I DONT KNOW lol
Surprisingly I was able to wake up this morning. Not only was I able to wake up, I WAS VERY HARDWORKING DURING ALBERT'S CLASS TODAY. So weird. It's like because I was soooo damn tired and sleepy I just felt more during class. SO WEIRD. I hibernated like 5-10minutes before his class. SUCH A YOLO DECISION TOO OK. Putting my body to sleep a few minutes before his class starts. Really shan I bow down to myself LOL.
& I don't know what Facebook is trying to tell me. All these articles that have been popping up. It's crazy. Like "10 signs you've met the one" "15 signs you've met a good man" "12 moments in your relationship that make you realise the power of love" etc etc. It's crazy because..... Almost half of the article, that zhuzhu passed. & I'm just like really.....?!??!
"That moment you say the thing that’s on your heart that you have been crazy afraid to say and they just look at you in the most heartbreakingly beautiful way, like, “why was this a big deal to tell me?”"
I remember that day so clearly when this happened. When I broke down in front of you. & all you did was just hugged me tighter and assured that you'd be there... Oh my god so precious. Maybe not to you but yeah to me, definitely one helluva precious moment right there.
& then again if i were to think about this whole situation radically.... It just is too fast. Came across this article called "Too much too soon". I swear it's really how I feel. Easy come easy go. We need time and we need to build on it. Love doesn't just happen. "Love is not something you just fall into overnight. It is the creation of two people who have worked together to cultivate it and allow it to grow. Our generations have it too easy in terms of an out. “‘Til death do us part” has become “Until I get bored of you.”" I'm not saying he doesn't know how to differentiate between Lust and Love. Because I would know how to differentiate guys that doesn't know and know. It's just that... It's kinda too good to be true. On the other hand, it is my fault too. I don't believe one can truly accept me for me. I don't believe he will still love me that much after awhile. Everyone that has stayed by me, left. It was just a matter of time. I got used to it. That's why I said I wouldn't be surprised if this one leaves me too.
Then i read this other article that ALSO happened to pop out on Facebook. "The who why and wtf of 20 something dating." <- I am TOTALLY guilty of this. If anyone ever asks me I would ALWAYS say "nope not exactly dating. nope just seeing how things goes." The only thing different is that, I'm not afraid of being labelled. I'm just afraid of what will happen after being labelled. I also want to find the one worth labelling. To me being someone's girlfriend is a big thing. To me being someone's girlfriend means I see a future in us. I know I'm young and I wanna live in the now. But that's exactly why i feel like being labelled means settling down. If I've found the right person now I definitely would settle. Because like I probably said in my previous posts, I AM SICK OF PLAYING AROUND. I really don't see the fun of having small talks with idiots that are basically just fucking around and talking to 10 other different girls. Yeah we're young and you only live once but yeah I'M PROBABLY ALREADY OVER THAT PHASE. We all know what a fucking feeling person I am. At the same time I can be one helluva bitch. Meaning I do noooooot entertain people whom I'm not interested in.
Gah. It's been some time since I felt so much for a person. This is horrible. I'm afraid. Same time of the year. OH MY GOD. God bless me please
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