I'm so happy okay. No I'm so disappointed but..... I'M SO HAPPY.

So today was my exam. WORST EXAM EVER. We had Jenny's unseen class. OH MY GOD. I'VE BEEN DOING BALLET BAR IN 8 COUNTS SUDDENLY SHE 6 COUNTS. I was confused as fuck okay. I thought my ballet solo wasn't that bad considering that I've been skipping so many of Toru's classes... AND THEN I SCREWED UP MY POSITIONING. Then fuck.... Argh. Contemp WAS WORSE. Guess who's unseen it was. PEI FREAKING SHAN OK. Oh my god. The first exercise I see already I also want faint. I'm just like my brain's so fucked up this can't be happening. Her routines were long as fuck I'm just like someone save my brain right now it's not remembering ANYYYY shit at all.

The worst happened. I blanked out on her last exercise. SO FUCKED UP. I hated that I just.... STOPPED MOVING. I literally stopped becuz I totally don't even know which is my left leg which is my right leg. I can't believe it I almost broke down. But okay we were given another chance. But STILL SCREWED UP BECUZ OF PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS AND LIKE.... Some of the movements I'VE NEVER DONE BEFORE SO IT'S LIKE NOT IN MY BODY VOCABULARY. So fucken annoyed with my fucken self.

Felt horrible throughout the rest of my dinner break before catching Performance's show. Then I don't know uh i just felt so sucky and all.... & A phone call came. Ahhhhhhh stupiddddd it made me felt sooo much better. Sigh the small things he does for me makes me smile so much. It's so sweet and I'm so thankful.... Thank you for always trying to make me happy. Thank you for always putting my safety first. Thank you for always taking care of me..... <3 AHHHHH this is bliss okay. ALTHOUGH there are times when you piss me off.... By using your dick to think not your brains but okay I don't blame you blood can't travel 2 places at a time I understand. AHHHH ok i'm gonna stop my nonsense now....

HEHE GOODNIGHT