I miss you like crazy

I'm still very sad... I know these are my midnight thoughts but I guess I'll just write it down anyway.

At times like this I wish he wasn't in camp. I wish he could take me out to supper and you know just be there with me. I feel the most vulnerable during the weekdays. Like I need someone there. I need him there but he can't be around... I'm left with roughly 10 days in Singapore and out of the 10 I can only see him once. That's barely even a day. Even when I'm back after 2 weeks I can't even see him because he's going to be confined with his new recruits.. I can't celebrate my Christmas with him because I'll be flying off yet again for a few days... I can't celebrate New years with him either because he is not going to be out of camp. On the weekends he has his own work to deal with. & To find time for me, he has to lie to his boss to come out and find me. & In January he's going to fly off to Brunei for another 3 torturing weeks. So in a nutshell, I don't get to see him for the whole of December, and in January I only get to see him twice at most.

I don't know how to feel dating an army regular. I hate that time is not on our side at all. Like seriously why?! All these makes the time spent with him very precious but I really feel... sad just thinking about it. I guess that's why they say girlfriends always leave their boyfriends once they enter army. NOT LIKE I'M GONNA LEAVE HIM. I'm just saying I feel the pain and ache and it sucks to feel like this.

Sucks. This sucks. So many random times I miss him like crazy and wish he was here but nope he can't be. I know I'm being greedy but what can I do :(