Already gotten through the 2nd week of school... And I'm already shagged as hell... There are 17 more weeks to go.... This is insanity :'( Someone teach me how to survive... 

I try so hard to find something to look forward to but there's none because im too mother fucking tired to think of anything. I now understand even more how my boyfriend feels. He definitely goes through worse shit than me and he has so little sleep. I feel like a mini bitch everytime I show him face cuz he always don't feel like doing anything. 

I feel so silently demanding. Like in my head there are a lot of expectations but they are not fulfilled and hence, disappointment. And also I just refuse to say my expectations out because I don't want to give people to impression like I'm very into something or very excited for something to happen. Cuz then when it doesn't I just feel upset like hell. Doesn't make a difference if I don't tell la actually. Kns 

I really wish I could see him anytime I wish. Why must he go through such life. This whole week he's been busy like hell and I can't even blame him cuz then I'll be a burden cuz I'm so demanding. 

I'm so tired I feel like it's okay to be lonely already... But it's quite sad to feel this loneliness.... And I don't like it. It's like there's someone out there that I love so much and every happy thought that comes into mind, he's the first person that I wanna tell. But he's just too tired. He's just lacking of sleep and of course no time for me. That's sad.. I think I need a pen pal to feel this void. What the f am I saying right now I deserve a slap in the face